My ex has a new partner and she allows this?

[whatamigoingtodo789]

So me and my ex split up. We have 2 kids together a 10 year old boy and 6 year old girl.

The ex has a new partner, approx 6 months into the relationship now. Not quite moved in yet together but spending quite a few nights at the ex's house each week.

I have always been protective of my kids when travelling in mine or other peoples cars.

The nan (mum of the ex) is on quite a lot of medication. Takes around 20 tablets a day. Maybe more. Have always restricted their travelling with her to a 2 mile trip on a 30mph road where its down to a supermarket and the roads are not really busy. They use my car seats whilst they do travel in her vehicle.

Wherever possible I drive them to their destination if meeting up with school friends after having invites to parties etc.

The ex may have gone along with this while we were in a relationship just for my sake.

As it now turns out they now travel back and forth over a 30 mile journey each way to visit friends and family in their nans car. Nan driving with the ex and 2 kids in the car. With car seats.

The problem is the new partner of the ex, only has a 3 seater vehicle. Its like a car with 3 seats in the front and then van part in the rear. Not like a transit size vehicle. Like an estate car. Like a citroen dispatch - the smaller type.

The new partner has apparently picked up the kids from their school or taken them to school in the said vehicle WITH NO CAR SEATS. Yes the journey is less than a mile each way. But my kids are 10 and 6. The 10 year old is still under the minimum height.

I do not know if there is an airbag in the passenger side so that would be a concern as well. I believe kids are meant to be in the rear of vehicles when passenger airbag is active.

What happens if this becomes a regular thing and then they will be doing the 30 mile journey to family/friends next?

Do I say anything to the ex or am I being unreasonable?

The issue with the nan and medication is irrelevant, just because she is on medication does not mean she can't drive.

The car seats are an issue. My dd is 10 and still in a car seat as she is quite short.

A 10 year old needs a car seat if they are under 135cm tall. The law states either age 12 or 135cm whichever comes first. Its illegal to travel without one. The 6 year old especially needs to be in an appropriate car seat. Are they all in the front seat area and there are no rear seats?

Whilst I'm 100% with you regarding car seat use you do come across as a controll freak. They are entitled to time together as a family with nan, how is she dangerous purely because she takes medication?

Those saying a ten year old doesn’t need a car seat, the law says differently

car seat law

You have no idea how tall the OP’s child is, so they could well still need the seat.

They can sit in the front seat, they need a forward facing car seat and the driver could face a £100 fine.
Can't they walk that journey?

Do people no longer use booster seats for age 9ish to 11ish? Raises child up so can wear the ordinary seat belt.

If the law says your children should be in car seats in the rear, then they should be (I don't know the exact rules).

If they are breaking the law you are definitely not being unreasonable.

So sorry... My DD is 11 and 155 so has not had a child seat for years. Not particularly tall. Didn't mean to offend anyone.

She deffo has not needed a child seat for ages.

Yabu re seats but tbh they should be walking if that close

And no.. never in the front seat!

Honestly, at 10, under 135 I would think is rare

YANBU. I'd be fuming

@TheSparklyPussycat
Some people do but they has been a massive push to use high back boosters instead. I can see the reason why I can remember my cousin's booster sliding our all the time and I'm 40.
My DDs one had padding around the head and a piece that pushes the seat away from any side impact which makes sense I've seen fractured skulls in adults from side impacts.

Who cares if its rare to have a 10 year old under 135cm? If the child is under 135cm then they need to be in a car seat. Do all the front seats have 3 point seat belts?

@Stegosaurus1990 omg are you serious?!?!? In a vehicle with no car seat??????

Plus the 6 year old is sitting in a front seat with no car seat too

I agree with you, Yanbu to say something, however you cannot dictate how others parents

Do

You mean like no seat at all? Or no child seat?

I don’t think you’re being unreasonable but you can’t control what they do with your children.

You should get some help with your anxiety issues. Imagine in 7-8 years time when you’re eldest is in their mates car.

Your’

In that case, report to the police.

I would.

So I will probably be flamed for this, but I saw my 11yo niece in a car seat the other day & thought it was so OTT. She starts high school next year & she’s in a REAR FACING CAR SEAT. Batshit. I think given your children’s ages & the length of the journey, I couldn’t get worked up.

BUT they’re your children & you obviously feel strongly about this so YANBU.

How does an 11 year old in a rear facing car seat actually work? 🤔

It is not normal for a child to be in a car seat at 10/11, not at all.

I missed the 6 year old. That is normalish.