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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Questioned over use of Blue Badge

209 replies

SuperMeerkat · 15/12/2019 22:37

Not sure if I’m being unreasonable here. I have epilepsy and it’s been really bad this year. 3 instances of Status (continual seizures) requiring emergency hospitalisation via ambulance plus many more seizures. My last seizure was 3 days ago. Anyway my husband parked up in a disabled bay with me as a passenger and I displayed the Blue Badge. A man immediately beckoned me over and demanded to know why I was using the disabled bay. I was very upset that I was made out to be using it fraudulently. AIBU to be upset or should I just get over it?

OP posts:
YeOldeTrout · 18/12/2019 17:28

Someone using dead partner's badge.

Council workers arrested, suspect to be giving out badges fraudulently.

Creepster · 18/12/2019 21:04

There is a procedure in place for reporting suspected BB abuses. Harassing people on the street is inexcusable.

MrsHobo · 18/12/2019 21:14

I once had someone accost me in a car park in a similar manner...evidently they just saw a car with two young people and decided we weren't allowed in the space.
They didn't wait long enough to see me take my friends wheelchair out of the boot before Christmas Ming over to have a go.
Entitled arsehole.

Itscoldandimwatchingfootball · 18/12/2019 21:25

Really messes with their heads when it's a baby with a blue badge. You can carry a baby , you look healthy etc.

AnneElliott · 18/12/2019 21:48

He was a knob op. My friend has a blue badge and people often look askance at me when I pull in - until they see her legs when she gets out.

One woman actually stood in the space and told me I couldn't park there as it was for disabled people only. I carried on going until she moved.

Ignore people who want to challenge you. They can always report if they are convinced you shouldn't have it.

EL8888 · 18/12/2019 21:51

It’s none of his business. As others have said who made him the blue badge police?!

@loubieloo4 thinking of you and your husband xx

perfectstorm · 18/12/2019 22:12

I have a blue badge. I have really serious post-chemo fatigue (sometimes, I literally can't move after a day of fairly mild activity) and also something called peripheral neuropathy - nerve damage in my feet. But I use the blue badge very sparingly because I'm aware people do challenge, and I don't have the emotional resilience for it (am dealing with my son's EHCP right now as well as the fallout of cancer). I need a wheelchair to go to a shopping centre, and right now my feet are burning just from moving around the house today - I've not had the energy to go out. But if I pop to a cafe, with no long walk (thanks to the blue badge!) I do walk from car to seat, because actually one of the only ways to overcome chemo fatigue is with gentle, small bite, incremental exercise. So I need the blue badge to access the level of activity I need to not need the blue badge (my very much hoped for end point!) and yet I am sometimes too drained to use it, in case I get hassled. It's a real issue. And before all this, I was a fairly assertive person. I had the energy to be.

If I ever am challenged, I plan to tell them I have cancer and then show them the port-a-cath on my chest where I get intravenous drugs administered. That should hopefully shame them enough to actually listen when I explain about invisible disabilities, and that just because someone has the use of their limbs, it doesn't mean movement is easy.

My son would also be entitled under the new rules, as he's ASD and while able to move physically, he's pretty agoraphobic because he finds the world threatening and overwhelming. Being able to park closer to a destination could really help reduce his stress levels. I'm having to weigh up the benefits (his activities are restricted by his getting so overwhelmed by noise, crowds and bustle) versus what it could do to his anxiety levels if someone were to aggressively challenge his right to have that extra help. It would without question harm him, and reduce his willingness to go out even more.

I wish people would understand that not only is it not their business, they can take emotional energy from people who, by definition, do not have much to spare. In cases such as my son's, they could exacerbate the effects of a disability in a very direct way.

MAFIL · 18/12/2019 23:23

I really feel for you @perfectstorm Flowers
I have experienced this is a much smaller way and it is horrible. I am currently off work sick waiting for an orthopaedic operation and I have been driven to almost being housebound for fear of meeting people whilst out. Some days I can barely walk with crutches, other days I feel much better and can walk slowly around the shops unaided for about half an hour. Or I have even managed short rides on my bike - but we are talking 5-10 miles when I would ride 100 previously. And like you, my physio has told me to do as much exercise as I can to try to maintain some muscle strength pre-op to give me the best chance of a quicker recovery post-op.
But if I bump into certain colleagues the comments always include " You look really well", "nice to see you are able to get out and about and enjoy yourself" or " no crutches, that's fabulous, you must be on the mend". All inocuous comments written down, but different if you heard them.
So I can only imagine how upsetting it must be to face similar in your situation. Some people are just horrible. I hope things look up for you soon.

windycuntryside · 18/12/2019 23:26

I have not rtt but assume it was a random beckoning you ? Ignore twats next time. Do not even engage with random vigilantes.

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