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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Questioned over use of Blue Badge

209 replies

SuperMeerkat · 15/12/2019 22:37

Not sure if I’m being unreasonable here. I have epilepsy and it’s been really bad this year. 3 instances of Status (continual seizures) requiring emergency hospitalisation via ambulance plus many more seizures. My last seizure was 3 days ago. Anyway my husband parked up in a disabled bay with me as a passenger and I displayed the Blue Badge. A man immediately beckoned me over and demanded to know why I was using the disabled bay. I was very upset that I was made out to be using it fraudulently. AIBU to be upset or should I just get over it?

OP posts:
vjg13 · 16/12/2019 07:37

I wish the self-appointed "blue badge police" could direct their investigations into those people who park in a blue badge space without a bb. My daughter has a bb and it is very usual to see cars not displaying badges parked in those spaces.

I think you were very unlucky OP. I have only been asked once in about 15 years by a "concerned" person.

Mamsnetter2020 · 16/12/2019 07:43

I can’t believe how many people get asked this! How confrontational of people who should mind their own bloody business. Knobs!

hiredandsqueak · 16/12/2019 07:43

Have been challenged many a time (by pensioners) when out with ds using his badge. I just tell them to report me, no idea whether anyone has as I've never heard anything but it's all legitimate anyway.

OnlyTheTitOfTheIceberg · 16/12/2019 07:44

Cactus councils are never going to take more action while officious wankers are making themselves feel better by challenging disabled people themselves. If you think BB misuse is a problem in your area, report the badge number(s) to the council. Although what exactly you think would happen in the OP’s case is a mystery: “

You: “Hello, I’m reporting that badge number 47 was parked in a disabled space today and in my opinion they didn’t look disabled.”

Council worker: “...”

Loubie hoping for that Christmas miracle for you Flowers

Elbeagle · 16/12/2019 07:45

Also Berrylove, how does it affect you in any way if the OP uses a blue badge space? Unless the only reason for your ‘curiosity’ is because you’re concerned someone is getting something you’re not, and it’s not fair?

sashh · 16/12/2019 07:48

I got my first (orange in those days) badge in my 30s and I looked even younger.

I've had loads of challenges over the years, my response to, "You don't look disabled" is, "You don't look like a dickhead"

People parking in a space without a badge, I may have been known to block them in, and when called over the supermarket tannoy, told customer services that if they have a badge I will appologise and move, otherwise I have things to do.

Original poster
SuperMeerkat · 16/12/2019 07:57

@ivykaty44 Well done! 36 for me and i’d Say around the 60 mark for him. Such a busybody. I’m feeling so much better today 💗 Perhaps it’s because it was so unexpected. Did he want to see a tonic clonic seizure on demand ffs?!!

OP posts:
JosephineDeBeauharnais · 16/12/2019 08:00

I'm Shock at this thread. I can't imagine approaching any stranger about anything like this, let alone "challenge" them. Who does that? It's absolutely none of my business who parks in a disabled spot, BB or no BB, I'm not a traffic warden. What outcome are people who do it actually seeking? How come they even notice Confused. It makes me feel slightly anxious to think that there are people who while they appear to be going about their business are actually spying on others and challenging them. It smacks a bit of East Germany tbh. Very disconcerting.

OnlyTheTitOfTheIceberg · 16/12/2019 08:07

Well said Josephine.

TheFairyCaravan · 16/12/2019 08:12

I used to be polite to people, usually pensioners, when they challenged me about using my BB, now I just tell them to fuck off. I use crutches and have a hoist in my car so I can transport my mobility scooter, they see me getting it out but some of them are that hard of thinking that it still doesn't compute.

BB's contain a unique number that includes the month and year of birth of the applicant as well as X for Male and Y for female so if you want to be a twat and question people about their badge, perhaps have a look at that first, or just mind your own bloody business.

PhilCornwall1 · 16/12/2019 08:12

I have a blue badge and to look at me you'd maybe wonder why. I have severe Rheumatoid Arthritis and do need to use it.

I was once questioned by an extremely posh elderly couple who thought I was using someone else's, the wife was the most rude. I simply explained that I was usually a very polite individual and treat others in the same way as I am by them, I then politely told them to fuck off and mind their own business.

SirGawain · 16/12/2019 08:17

Suggest that they allow you to explain your disability and then describe some made-up condition in gruesome detail.

Original poster
SuperMeerkat · 16/12/2019 08:19

It really fed into my feelings of shame of having epilepsy and this is something that i’ve Worked really hard to get over. It’s taken 18 years but i’m getting there. You only have to read epilepsy forums to realise that guilt and shame are common feelings for people with epilepsy so to have someone say something like that brings it flooding back.

OP posts:
Original poster
SuperMeerkat · 16/12/2019 08:21

@SirGawain I don’t need to describe a made up condition. Epilepsy can be pretty gruesome in itself. I’ve had black eyes, bitten/swollen tongue, broken ribs. Not nice.

OP posts:
PhilCornwall1 · 16/12/2019 08:21

BB's contain a unique number that includes the month and year of birth of the applicant as well as X for Male and Y for female so if you want to be a twat and question people about their badge, perhaps have a look at that first, or just mind your own bloody business.

It's also got a bloody great photo of the badge holder on the back of it too.

ivykaty44 · 16/12/2019 08:22

Supermeercat

I’ve come across many woman in their 30s that have been questioned over their BB by 60something men

Thus the best response we’ve come up with it

Report to council if you have a problem, details of reporting on their website

These men can’t argue with officialdom being forced upon them

I’m not in any way of need of a badge myself

TheFairyCaravan · 16/12/2019 08:28

It's also got a bloody great photo of the badge holder on the back of it too.

You can't see that when it's on the dashboard though can you?

x2boys · 16/12/2019 08:28

I think the problem is people assume blue badges are just for those with very visible physical disabilities ,I saw an article in the paper about Paddy Mcguinness being questioned because the parked in a,disabled space they have three children with autism and one of them at least has a blue badge some of the comments were absolutely vile and somebody actually said "so autism is disability now"HmmI'm not sure what they thought it was ,obviously not everyone with autism will qualify for a blue badge ,but as they are not easy to get people need to accept that it a person has been accepted for a blue badge than they need one wether they " look " disabled or not .

PhilCornwall1 · 16/12/2019 08:32

You can't see that when it's on the dashboard though can you?

Well obviously, but if you are by your car and someone has a go, if you wanted to, you could show them.

Mlou32 · 16/12/2019 08:57

@JosephineDeBeauharnais some people do it to be nosy and argumentative. Others do it for the right reasons and I am glad of those folk. My mum is in a wheelchair and the amount of times I've seen people pull into a disabled bay without a blue badge, jump out their car and head off really annoys me. There have been times that I've went to Tesco with my mum who is in a wheelchair and all the spaces are taken up; half the spaces are taken up by folk with no blue badges. As my mum's in a wheelchair, we can't park in a regular space, as there is no room to get the wheelchair out and her into it. So I for one thank the people who do politely and respectfully point out to someone when they are in a disabled space with no badge. It helps me and other disabled people who literally cannot yet access to shops without such parking bays.

CloseEncountersOfTheTerfKind · 16/12/2019 08:59

Generally, anyone who likes to use the words "confront" or "demand" in their interactions with strangers, is going to be a knob, IMO.
How on earth can people think it's acceptable to go up to a random stranger and demand details about their health? Knobs.

My pet hate (as a BB holder and epileptic too) is when people do park in the spaces without a BB. However as I'm not a knob, I don't demand anything, I usually say with a smile "you've forgotten to put your badge up and they always check here" if they say "oops I forgot gosh thanks" and put their badge up we both feel warm and happy  if they say "I haven't got a badge but I'll only be a minute" I do call them a knob educate them and taking a pic of their car usually gets them to move it (no ones punched me yet but it's probably only a matter of time).

@loubieloo4 I sincerely hope you do have a Christmas miracle and will think of you.

81Byerley · 16/12/2019 08:59

My husband has a blue badge because of his mobility problems caused by his cancer. I have no problems with people using disabled bays when they display a badge, but get very angry when I see people using them with no badge. This happens a lot in our local little Tesco, which has one disabled space. I actually waited for one man (early twenties) who parked in the bay and then ran in the shop. His excuse? "I wasn't going in for long and I was buying beer so it was going to be heavy".
When I was a support worker for disabled people I took a lady to college, and two cars had parked next to each other in the disabled bays, with no badges. I blocked them in and ran in to ask the manager's advice. He came out, said "Put the lady's badge out and leave the vehicle there". I offered to leave a note saying where I'd be, so the drivers could find me, but he said no....they'll have to wait. It was three hours before we came out....

CloseEncountersOfTheTerfKind · 16/12/2019 08:59

Where is all my formatting and smileys? Confused

Spikeyball · 16/12/2019 09:00

We have never been challenged but we do get the staring into the window to look for the badge and the pulled faces when they see there is no one over 60 in the car - even when a wheelchair is being got out of the car. We also have had badge waving when we have pulled into last space and wave our badge right back at them.

Mummyoflittledragon · 16/12/2019 09:38

I have a bb. I was waiting for someone to get out of the bb space the other day - the only space in the car park bb or otherwise. The driver gave me real daggers presuming I didn’t have a badge so I held it up. I have never been challenged. But I do get looks. I have chronic fatigue, fibromyalgia, chronic pain and have had 2 major surgeries I am struggling to get over.

The only time I ever challenged someone was when a man parked in a bb space - the only bb space or otherwise in the car park. I really really needed the space that day. He was on crutches and decided he qualified as disabled. It was really clear not just from the strapping on his foot but by the mans physique and the way he moved that this was an injury, not disability. He told me his badge was in his other car. Yeh, right. This sort of entitlement, usually by men pisses me off terribly.

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