Questioned over use of Blue Badge

[SuperMeerkat]

Not sure if I’m being unreasonable here. I have epilepsy and it’s been really bad this year. 3 instances of Status (continual seizures) requiring emergency hospitalisation via ambulance plus many more seizures. My last seizure was 3 days ago. Anyway my husband parked up in a disabled bay with me as a passenger and I displayed the Blue Badge. A man immediately beckoned me over and demanded to know why I was using the disabled bay. I was very upset that I was made out to be using it fraudulently. AIBU to be upset or should I just get over it?

I had some busybody twat shouting and frothing about me parking in a ‘handicapped’ space (bloody hate that word). He was cut off as I stepped around him to help my mother get my disabled father from his wheelchair to the car. These idiots really need to fuck off and mind their own business or find a real jobby.

*hobby omg autocorrect (Scottish people will know why I’m cringing)

Dont even engage. Nosy bastards. Seriously ignore. my dad said last week the blue badge is the best thing he’s ever got .

I've learnt to unceremoniously flip the bird at people or be unreasonable back. Depends on the situation.

Supermeerkat I am so very sorry you were humiliated in this manner.

My adult dd also suffers from cluster epilepsy - many have reached status level over the years where she has been hospitalised and placed in induced comas - plus she also has SLD and is severely autistic so I know full well how dangerous your seizures are.

Despite our dd qualifying for both high rate care and mobility PIP, we have never applied for a blue badge as, unless you try and speak to her, our dd seems relatively "Normal".

I think many people view blue badges as being purely for physically disabled people. Mental health or anything neurological only still seems to lack empathy from much of the public. ☹️

I have a disabled sticker for my car (my country’s equivalent to a blue badge) and often get the side-eye - most often from elderly people, i have to say - when I get out of the car. My illness isn’t always immediately apparent to others, but after only a short walk in a shopping centre I slow down, get quite fatigued and begin to limp badly. So it’s more obvious when I return to the car, and that’s why I need a close parking spot. Sometimes I am in a wheelchair, too, and obviously those spots are doubly needed then. I couldn’t do without them, but I do feel judged every time I use them.

Berrylove Sun 15-Dec-19 23:42:33
@Havaina how do you know it didn’t spark from him wondering though? I genuinely think there would be a lot less hostility towards disabled people and the use of BB if people understood the reasons why they needed them, not that it’s anyone’s business I agree but like I said I think it would help.

--

Go and educate yourself then! There are hundreds of reasons why someone may need a BB and no one needs to justify themselves to you.

The fact that you sympathise with this man beckoning OP over and demanding an expalnation says a lot about you.

Likethebattle and Australian people [grin}

Tell them to piss off my son has just been awarded high rate care and high rate mobility under SMI rates which now automatically entitkes him to a blue badge yes he can walk and run like the wind straight under a car,he has absolutely zero danger awareness and we need it for safety nobody else s Buissness why he what qualifies .

Oh ffs.

Who the hell died and made nosy buggers the BB police? If they had serious concerns they'd report it, not harass and badger people that more likely than not are disabled.

All this hand wringing over "fraud", well there's benefit fraud too do you stop people at the job centre to ask them why they're getting them? Or question friends/coworkers/neighbours why exactly are they entitled to it?

It's nosiness, entitlement and ignorance about disabilities. Disabled people are not public property, they don't owe explanations or education to anyone, they don't have to explain exactly how disabled they are or why. They have enough shit to deal with.

I’m sorry? What gives you the right to be privy to people’s medical records?

Nosy, officious bastard. Sorry you got this, OP.

This riles me so much.
We have a blue badge. My son is 4 and has a muscle wasting disease, but he can currently still walk so we always get dirty looks. Old couple the other week I heard loudly discussing which one of those is disabled then?
Twats.

OP..ignore the twat...

DH has a BB, we stopped at the local supermarket and I got out to go round to help DJ out of the passenger seat...some twat immediately came over and said
twat- 'do you have a disability?'
me- no, 'my husband has',
twat- really?
me- yes really, would you like to see his wheelchair in the boot? or perhaps his appt letter for the hospital appt for his radiotherapy ? or his crutches...or you could mind your own business like a normal human being …
twat- there's no need to be assey…

prick!

yanbu

I think the most appropriate response would be "I don't have to disclose intimate details of my medical status to a complete stranger. feel free to write down my badge number and ask the council to verify that my reasons are genuine as they have it all on record."

I usually find a very graphic, no holds barred explanation of exactly why I have a blue badge suffices (progressive spinal condition)

Or telling people that I brought it on Ebay for a tenner tends to shut people up rather quickly.

I can under people questioning other,s if they don't display a blue badge ,because spaces are abused ,but if badges are displayed than its not up.to other,s to judge wether they think the recipient is "disabled enough"

Oh Loubie how dreadful for you both. Wishing a miracle for you.

@Rafflesway, as your daughter has PIP at higher rate for mobility, she is automatically entitled to a Blue Badge, no f2f or examination. You contact your local authority for a application or more info. It's so worth it.

Are there statistics on the fraudulent use of a blue badge, given the statement fraudulent use of blue badges is very high, either fake ones or 'borrowing' a relative's? Is this actually true or pulled out of someone's arse?

* I don't know the answer, don't challenge and the difficulty finding a space continues as people get away with it, challenge and someone is upset because they actually are genuine.**

Wtf? It is absolutely not your place ( or anyone elses) to be judge and jury on whether someone's blue badge is valid. If you think it a blue badge is being used fraudulently, take .the number and report..it isn't your job to police it. If you feel it.needs policing better, campaign for that but don't go around hassling people , the vast majority of whom are coping with shitty stuff already (hence why they have a BB)

I was going to ask the same question about fraudulent use. Is it common?

I find France worse: the French public ferociously scrutinise the use of disabled spaces. I wonder if they have more stringent rules than us? We have been challenged a lot in France.

It's happened to me many times. I just ask them if they're jealous I got cancer! The number on the badges show the month and year of birth if the badge holder and I look roughly my age so I've no idea why (it's always a pensioner) anyone feels I've 'borrowed' them.

Unfortunately yes we do have to be more assertive.

I'm eligible for a disability bus pass, train pass and blue badge if I wished.

I'm currently housebound so obviously not using but when I am at points I'm out and about I have been challenged and questioned at times as none of my conditions (mental illness, spinal condition and muscular condition plus I have asthma that can flare in winter and make walking far difficult) are generally visible currently (although at points I've been on crutches but I'm actually being advised medically to avoid using mobility aids as much as possible so as to maintain as much muscle strength as I can).

I try and keep my temper and basically say things like

Because I'm disabled

Because I struggle with my mobility

But yes at times I get irritated especially if they're particularly rude and say

None of your business!

Yes I'm entitled to it and that's been decided by someone far more qualified than you.

At times it's been the people with me who've ranted back!

And they really let rip! My mother on more than one occasion has done the "you're very welcome to take her conditions on yourself!" Stance things like "She's in constant pain, constantly terrified, constantly worried about falling and getting a serious injury, her whole life is affected every day but hey clearly you'd LOVE to live like that"

She's a tiny wee grey haired Scots woman who appears very unassuming but not the person to get on wrong side of.

My aunt her sister also has a blue badge also invisible condition (chronic heart disease genetic condition but far worse now she's getting older) and she gives these types full pelt on that one too "constant pain, constantly fighting for breath, terrified she'll go into full failure, constantly exhausted - but sure you'd cope with that just fine!" 

Aunt is very quiet considered type but even she if alone (she rarely is these days as she's so unwell) will put them in their place. One time an older lady on a bus tried to make my aunt move from her priority seat "it's for us old folk not you fit healthy young 'uns just being lazy!" Aunt showed her disabled bus pass and used it to point to the "disabled" part on the "these seats are for elderly, infirm and disabled passengers" sign the ridiculous thing was there was another seat available this lady just wanted to have a dig!

There is plenty of info online AND members of the public are welcome to contact local council for info too.

@Berrylove and I'm not buying your faux naïveté any more than I think anyone else on this thread is. The op clearly explained why she has a BB and you are not entitled to her private confidential medical info anyway.

BB are not given out easily, so if you see someone has one you can reasonably assume there is good reason even IF they're bloody hopscotching into the shop or wherever!

A friend of mine her son has one as he has asd and appears very capable but he has no risk awareness, is easily startled into doing dangerous things like running into a road full of cars and is also hard of hearing so doesn't even hear car horns or a frantic mother calling him back.

She has become far more assertive with people like this too she struggled at first as she's quite a shy type but things like this plus everything else she has had to/is still battling in order to get her son the help and support he needs have led to her becoming more vocal.