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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Questioned over use of Blue Badge

209 replies

SuperMeerkat · 15/12/2019 22:37

Not sure if I’m being unreasonable here. I have epilepsy and it’s been really bad this year. 3 instances of Status (continual seizures) requiring emergency hospitalisation via ambulance plus many more seizures. My last seizure was 3 days ago. Anyway my husband parked up in a disabled bay with me as a passenger and I displayed the Blue Badge. A man immediately beckoned me over and demanded to know why I was using the disabled bay. I was very upset that I was made out to be using it fraudulently. AIBU to be upset or should I just get over it?

OP posts:
YeOldeTrout · 17/12/2019 20:22

Apparently BBs get stolen a lot, or otherwise used fraudulently.

I rarely go in cars so am not affected directly in anyway. But if you're furious that someone might be abusing the system, then it doesn't seem right to object to some people trying to prevent abuse of the system. As long as they're polite. Maybe make up business cards with your license registration and the reporting website to hand to any self-appointed BB police? :)

Questioned over use of Blue Badge
TrickyD · 17/12/2019 20:24

We live close to our town centre with plenty of parking space at the house. When our lovely cleaner started working for us I suggested she park here anytime she wanted to go into town. ‘No thanks, very kind but I have a blue badge’ . Crown Smile

AG29 · 17/12/2019 20:25

I can’t believe this is still happens. Are there still people out there who believe that a disability had to be very invisible on the outside because realistically it’s not always the case. Don’t let it bother you. It’s ignorance.

Bluebutterfly90 · 17/12/2019 20:47

Many people need to be introduced to the magic of Minding Your Own Fucking Business.
Sorry this happened to you, OP, and even more sorry some people seem to think challenging people on their BB is ok.
Dont know who appointed these busybodys as the disability police.

T0tallyFuckedUpFamily · 17/12/2019 21:03

some people trying to prevent abuse of the system. As long as they're polite. Maybe make up business cards with your license registration and the reporting website to hand to any self-appointed BB police?

The very fact that they think that it’s any of their business, is ignorance, not politeness. They’re not doing it to help disabled drivers/passengers, they’re doing it to feel superior. If they were genuine, they would apologise to those affected. Not one person on here has said that their accuser has apologised properly given an explanation as to their behaviour. They’ve all scuttled off.

Or just tell them to fuck off and stop accosting people with a blue badge, as they have absolutely no authority. I’m not standing there with my vulnerable child and explaining why she needs it! She has SNs, she not fucking stupid and gets embarrassed and upset when she’s the subject of a conversation with strangers.

PanicAndRun · 17/12/2019 21:08

But if you're furious that someone might be abusing the system, then it doesn't seem right to object to some people trying to prevent abuse of the system.

But are they really? Why not report quietly if they're that concerned. How are they preventing anything by accosting disabled people or people that are their carers?

Given there are 2.2 mil BB holders, does the number of prosecutions warrant the public to take the issue in their own hands? Especially since statistically, they're more likely than not to question an actual disabled person.

The faux innocence argument of "stopping fraud" doesn't wash.

YeOldeTrout · 17/12/2019 21:31

Lots of info about London boroughs fighting blue badge fraud.

Camden seized 963 badges/5 yrs... so almost 200 invalidly used blue badges each year. Two seized every 3.7 days? Just in Camden.

There are lots of links about people eligible for BBs who don't get them, and LOTS of stories about councils alleged to be doing too little to find the fraudsters.

Could paste a reporting URL to one's rear window for the nosy.

joyfullittlehippo · 17/12/2019 21:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mrsjayy · 17/12/2019 21:45

yeoldetrout It isn't up to Mr random nosey bastard to acost a woman going into a hospital asking about her badge validity if he was so concerned (he isn't concerned) he could report the badge to the council but he won't he just likes to feel superior.

joyfullittlehippo · 17/12/2019 21:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mrsjayy · 17/12/2019 21:59

I think i read that joyfullittlehippo my eyes nearly rolled out of my head !

NearlyOutedMyself · 17/12/2019 22:00

I wonder if the sort of person who accosts BB users in carparks, also question people sitting in priority seats on public transport?

Mummyoflittledragon · 17/12/2019 22:07

Probably... idiots.

Underhisi · 17/12/2019 22:09

They are sad fuckers on a power trip and should either be ignored or told to fuck off.

Mrsjayy · 17/12/2019 22:09

I was looked at today for sitting on the accesible seat on the bus today a man with a walking frame so i offered to move up he sat in the wheelchair space the woman over from me just glared !

TheGoogleMum · 17/12/2019 22:13

Very rude for anyone to question why you need a blue badge! I have some friends with genuine conditions which make them less mobile - so closer spaces are useful. But they don't look disabled because they can walk unaided (one uses a stick on bad days but mostly doesnt). Are that many really used fraudulently? I can't imagine being rude enough to question someone

T0tallyFuckedUpFamily · 17/12/2019 22:42

I wonder if the sort of person who accosts BB users in carparks, also question people sitting in priority seats on public transport?

Only if they’re not big strong looking men, I can guarantee it.

WeArnottamused · 17/12/2019 23:22

its non of their business, I would have been so tempted to tell them to fuck off.

I have a 20 year old ds who has a blue badge & has been on DLA since “birth” - he came home from hospital on O2. Tube fed & a load of other medical issues, the joys of a premature baby!

We once got a snotty note left on the windscreen, threatening to report us for using someone else’s badge at the local hospital. (Ds had been in for a month & I had gone to bring him home). I was more pissed that whoever it was hadn’t had the balls to challenge me, or stick around, because I’d have torn them a new one!

These days to look at him, you wouldn’t think he was disabled, but gets high rate pip both care & mobility. He has hip Dysphasia, learning disabilities & lots of additional extras.

I also have stickers in the rear side windows saying “not all disabilities are visible”

Maybe we shouldn’t have to have those on display, but so far (fingers crossed) I’ve not had anyone challenge me on the badge.

Like most I would much rather have a “neuro typical” child than a blue badge

showmewhatyougot · 18/12/2019 11:21

What a knob! I bet he's the kind of guy who parks in parent and child bays with his 19 year old.

It's none of his business don't let it bother you! Have a merry Christmas x

Schuyler · 18/12/2019 11:35

YANBU and I don’t care about how many fraudulent uses there are. If you think I’m a fraud, go ahead and report me but you have no right to even politely challenge me. It’s intimidating and none of your business. I cannot believe even a small minority of people think it’s ok to ask someone. I mean, I can. I’ve had this a handful of times over the years. I never dignify it with a response.

Zebulon2002 · 18/12/2019 14:34

You often don't need a Blue Badge in a supermarket carpark. They do sometimes state rules and penalties, but my friend who complained about unauthorised use at a supermarket (i.e. they didn't even try and claim to be disabled) was told it was a guide only, and unenforced.

Havaina · 18/12/2019 14:41

I got fined for not displaying it in an Asda, so I would always display.

SerendipityJane · 18/12/2019 14:52

You often don't need a Blue Badge in a supermarket carpark. They do sometimes state rules and penalties, but my friend who complained about unauthorised use at a supermarket (i.e. they didn't even try and claim to be disabled) was told it was a guide only, and unenforced.

Some states in the US make it a criminal offence to abuse facilities provided under accessibility or disability legislation. That's because the US veterans are quite a powerful political voice and the Americans with Disabilities Act has real teeth

www.ada.gov/

You know, there's been a lot of talk of the UK becoming too much like the US. If it's a change like that, I might be sold.

MyPatronusIsABadger · 18/12/2019 15:47

Nosey bastard fuckers can fuck right off. Tell them they’re fucking cunts and move on. Too many idiots accosted my lovely DH about him walking all right. He didn’t have fucking cancerous tumours on his toes....just his organs. In the beginning I tried to be calm and think the best of people. Now I just spew obscenities as I can’t take the nosey fuckers any more

crosstalk · 18/12/2019 17:14

There are odd problems though. I used to take my disabled ma to the station to put her on the train with help from BR. So I would use her badge to park and get the wheelchair out. However, she needed it at the other end for other carers so needed to take it with her so I would have been without a BB one end and those carers parked the other temporarily without a BB.