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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Questioned over use of Blue Badge

209 replies

SuperMeerkat · 15/12/2019 22:37

Not sure if I’m being unreasonable here. I have epilepsy and it’s been really bad this year. 3 instances of Status (continual seizures) requiring emergency hospitalisation via ambulance plus many more seizures. My last seizure was 3 days ago. Anyway my husband parked up in a disabled bay with me as a passenger and I displayed the Blue Badge. A man immediately beckoned me over and demanded to know why I was using the disabled bay. I was very upset that I was made out to be using it fraudulently. AIBU to be upset or should I just get over it?

OP posts:
HeIenaDove · 16/12/2019 00:51

I bet i can guess which way he voted last week OP.

RuthB91 · 16/12/2019 00:53

This reply has been deleted

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Creepster · 16/12/2019 01:06

I will never forget the time I was with a friend at the store and when we got out the people next didn't outright challenge her but said plenty loud that she didn't look disable to them.
I came to a dead stop spun around and said prosthetics are amazing these days aren't they? Flames were shooting out the sides of my face.

Creepster · 16/12/2019 01:07

FYI, fortunately my friend didn't hear them or me.

DameofGnomes · 16/12/2019 01:25

I think there should be consequences for people who do this sort of bullying. In fantasy, I am thinking of having some printed cards with something like CONGRATULATIONS! YOU HAVE WON THE BLUE BADGE CHALLENGE PRIZE! then the name of a tabloid newspaper, and an address where they can go to pick up their prize. This would cost them some effort and make them feel foolish. However, not sure that I would want to go to all the effort to prepare it myself. I am trying to come up with something easier.

alexdgr8 · 16/12/2019 01:43

how about threatening to report them for hate crime against a person with disabilities.
demand their name get out phone and say you are ringing police as you are being harassed.

Original poster
SuperMeerkat · 16/12/2019 06:05

Thanks all, feel better now reading these comments. His problem, not mine! Think I was just feeling down yesterday ☹️

OP posts:
Original poster
SuperMeerkat · 16/12/2019 06:08

@GlamGiraffe Now they’ve changed the rules for hidden disabilities, it was actually very easy to get the BB for epilepsy. Before it was a near impossibility. You should go for it as you sound as though you need one Flowers

OP posts:
tillytrotter1 · 16/12/2019 06:21

I once parked in a town centre with my mother who had been robbed and had to go to sort some stuff out. When we came out it was chucking it down so I said Wait there, I'll go and get the car. A traffic warden questioned me about the badge, I offered him a lift over to the Town Hall to meet my mother but he declined!

DancingPyjamas · 16/12/2019 06:38

I can honestly say that I've never given a thought to BB drivers or where they park.
If people spent more time minding their own business and less time minding everyone else's then we would all be happier.

Sparklybaublefest · 16/12/2019 06:40

I think I would as pleasantly as i could, as Why? Why do you want to know, as if he genuinely had a reason to know?

WineOrGinOrBoth · 16/12/2019 06:51

I’ve had a bb since I was about 35/40. Of course I got/get challenged. I don’t cry or get upset about it. Why would I? Most people think bb = old. I just start listing my medical conditions till their eyes glaze over. People do abuse bb spaces all the time - certainly around here. I’ve been known to question people also - white van man often. It’s not something to get upset about IMO.

NearlyOutedMyself · 16/12/2019 06:54

Sorry to hear you had that experience OP. he sounds like a right arsehole. Chin up and remember that you're entitled to the BB, he has no right to question you.

ivykaty44 · 16/12/2019 06:54

I would put money on you being below 40 and the man over 60

Take no notice at all, many people think that if your young and they can’t spot your disability they have a right to query your use of blue badge spaces - they don’t

If it happens again, advice then they should use the correct channels to report and it’s all available online on there council website - then finish the conversation and move about your business

Mlou32 · 16/12/2019 06:58

I can see both sides and its also about how you challenge someone. Numerous times I've seen people use disabled bays with no blue badge and them not looking as though they need it. So if they don't have a blue badge then its reasonable to assume that they are abusing the space (and technically they are). And it means that I've had to park at the other end of the huge carpark with my mother who has MS and has a blue badge because all the disabled spaces were then taken and the general spaces were fairly busy and there wasn't enough room to get her wheelchair and my mother out. So I had to park really far from the shop where the car park was empty. This was then a nightmare pushing my mums wheelchair back, along with all the bags of shopping and trying to cross a busy car park with all that stuff...very difficult. So I think it is fair to politely challenge people ie 'do you have a blue badge to be parking in that disabled space' if one isn't being displayed on the windshield. I wouldn't take any offence to a polite query, in fact I would be thankful to someone for policing the disabled spots as I hate when they get abused. However there is a difference between that and grilling someone about their disability. That isn't on.

Hoppymclimpy · 16/12/2019 07:13

Who the hell are the 5% who think it's not unreasonable to question someone with a BB? Christ.
OP, I get it, I really do. I've had a badge for 4 years, since I was 38. I've had (and in my experience it has always been older) people question why I have a badge before I've got out of the car. It used to really upset me, especially with some of the comments made. Now I'm determined that these self-appointed busy bodies won't see they've upset me. My DH and 8 Yr oldDD are awesome and always make a wonderful production of getting my chair out (lightweight so the 8 Yr old can get it out of the back seat!) and bring it round to me..... People always tend to slink off at that point! The worst time for being confronted for me seems to be in hospital carpark.. wtf?!?

ScreamingValalalalahLalalalah · 16/12/2019 07:15

Mlou32 I agree it's a different situation if people aren't displaying the badge in their vehicle. "Have you got a blue badge?" is a reasonable question in that situation. It's not the same as asking someone who is displaying a blue badge why they have it.

CactusAndCacti · 16/12/2019 07:17

No I haven't just got the statement out of my arse. It is totally different to benefit fraud as someone claiming fraudulently doesn't stop someone else claiming. Someone parking in a blue badge space who shouldn't be may mean that someone else needs to just turn around and go straight back home.

Councils need to enforce the rules more, but until they do people will take the chance.

I've not time for links but Google BB fraud, theft etc and the evidence is there.

C8H10N4O2 · 16/12/2019 07:26

Invite them to report you and point out that disability discrimination and harrassment are offences.

BlaueLagune · 16/12/2019 07:29

OP if this happens again don't engage. It isn't impolite for you to ignore them, it is impolite for them to ask. Don't make eye contact and pretend you haven't heard them. It's my policy with chuggers!

And blue badges don't get given away, it's difficult to get one so if you are reading this and don't "understand" why someone has got one, beetle off and mind your own business. You have to provide lots of evidence of your disability to get one.

BlaueLagune · 16/12/2019 07:30

(if someone has parked in a blue badge space without a badge, believe me, the traffic wardens will notice and give a ticket, so no need to get involved)

Dyrne · 16/12/2019 07:31

Interesting, CactusAndCacti . I’ve just googled and there is plenty of online advice about how to report blue badge fraud and even advice for councils to follow on how to successfully prosecute.

Nowhere does it recommend hassling disabled people and demanding private medical details on the spot.

Elbeagle · 16/12/2019 07:34

I’m asking this out of pure curiously I really don’t mean to be rude or offend, but why do you need to park closer to your destination (I’m assuming that’s all blue badges are for) if you epilepsy? I obviously think the guy was out of order for demanding you tell him but I guess maybe this sparked from him wondering to?

It doesn’t matter though, does it? Someone who knows far more about the OP’s condition than we do has judged her to be worthy of a blue badge. That’s all anyone else needs to know.

Seahorseshoe · 16/12/2019 07:35

I have a severely disabled son. The amount of people who use blue badge spaces, who do not have them, drives me nuts. I flipped out at Tesco once, when all 5 bays didn't have badges.

However, anyone who has one, is entitled to use one - that man was out of order. There are unseen disabilities. Yanbu to use your badge, don't feel intimidated by his attitude, he was out of order. If you've been issued one, then you should use it.

PanicAndRun · 16/12/2019 07:36

@CactusAndCacti does it really happen that often that you believe the questioning of people who more likely than not are actually disabled is warranted?