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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Being a woman v being a man

102 replies

Alanis126 · 15/12/2019 14:28

Ok I live in the wealthy West and fully realise that many many women in the world have it way worse than men and suffer at the hands of some of them. I realise F to M trans people exist, but overall I would never want to be anything other than a woman mainly due to the emotional restrictions of the patriarchy on men. I wondered how others felt? It'd be interesting to try being a man but I'd definitely want the option to come back across the gender divide.

OP posts:
BeyondVotesForFlube · 15/12/2019 14:32

I'm not entirely sure a woman In the midst of being murdered by her violent husband would agree with you that it would be worse to be the "emotionally restricted" man...?

SnuggyBuggy · 15/12/2019 14:35

I think I would personally find life harder as a man as I think my personality would be less socially acceptable as a man.

Iwishiwasinvisible · 15/12/2019 14:38

Yes, I feel sorry for men.

Original poster
Alanis126 · 15/12/2019 14:39

Beyond I did say if you re read that I realised many women suffer at the hands of men, many more than vice versa. I would of course expect them to disagree . Snuggy what aspects of your personality do you think wouldn't suit being male?

OP posts:
VladmirsPoutine · 15/12/2019 14:39

As a thought experiment it'd be great to try being all sorts for a day then return to 'myself' just to 'feel' how other groups are treated. But I couldn't imagine being a man - my womanhood is the basis from which everything else has stemmed.

SnuggyBuggy · 15/12/2019 14:53

To be honest I'm a terrible coward, I'm really wimpy and I think men get judged more for that

Original poster
Alanis126 · 15/12/2019 14:55

Snuggy I don't disagree that men get more judged. I'm interested though who do you think does the most judging, women or other men?

OP posts:
oncemorewithfeeling99 · 15/12/2019 14:57

I’d like to be a dad. Being a dad seems more fun!

CountFosco · 15/12/2019 14:57

I think it would be bliss for a while, particularly for young females who bear the brunt of sexual harrassment. It's the best thing about getting older as a woman is becoming invisible to those kinds of men.

koshkat · 15/12/2019 15:00

Yes, I feel sorry for men.

Confused
FaFoutis · 15/12/2019 15:01

The level of fear you would feel on a daily basis would be a big difference. For that alone I'd like to be a man.

SnuggyBuggy · 15/12/2019 15:01

Mostly other men but I don't think some women can be judgemental of male emotion. I wish there was more space for men to act or dress in ways thought of as feminine whilst still considering themselves men if that makes sense.

Clariana · 15/12/2019 15:21

Having worked all my life I would love to be a man. I have lost count of the times I have found out male colleagues were earning more that me (he is a man, he needs it!) or the times less capable men have been promoted rather than me.

Letsallscreamatthesistene · 15/12/2019 15:24

Having never been a man, I dont know. How can anyone have a valid opinion on something they've never experienced?

Ritascornershop · 15/12/2019 15:30

I just can’t imagine having a different body, so I’m stuck on that point. I do find myself singing Martha Wainwright’s song, Mother, to myself sometimes though ... “I wish, I wish I was born a man, so I could learn how to stand up for myself, like those guys with guitars who are singing in bars, who are stamping their feet to a different beat, to a different beat”.

Arnoldthecat · 15/12/2019 15:37

As i am male I would say that being a man is not all its cracked up to be !

Men feel threatened to as they are more likely to be victims of violence than women in certain situations. Many men dont have the same social connections as women do and have a different relationship with those whom they would call friends.

Being male can be a very lonely place for many.

As for work,,well i have seen a good few women promoted over men who are not capable of doing their job but seem to remain in post nevertheless and get promoted further. I know a woman who became a manager and a bully and presided over the victimisation and sacking of a number of males under her. She is the same woman who punched another male at a company function because she got too pissed.

So its not all one way traffic.

koshkat · 15/12/2019 16:04

She is the same woman who punched another male at a company function because she got too pissed.

Yes there are so many violent women around compared to men. Right?

Themyscira · 15/12/2019 16:08

The patriarchy hurts women and by extension men. Perhaps I'm particularly unimaginative but I couldn't really think what it's like to be a man, though I'd probably enjoy more muscle mass tbh.

What I'd like is safety and security for women and girls, and the ability for all people to reach their full potential in life without being restricted by stupid cultural values that have no real meaning or basis in reality. That'd be nice.

Sn0tnose · 15/12/2019 16:10

Men feel threatened to as they are more likely to be victims of violence than women in certain situations.

What situations would those be then? Where a man would be more likely to suffer physical or sexual violence than a woman?

Themyscira · 15/12/2019 16:12

Oh I love that particular bit of whataboutery because they always forget that men are the violent offenders in about 95% of cases. So yeah, sure, men are victims of violence too, but by other men! My advice? Men, sort yourselves out!!

Arnoldthecat · 15/12/2019 16:15

Im just saying its not all gravy being a man. That's all.

ohwheniknow · 15/12/2019 16:18

Oh, won't somebody think of the poor men!

HoHoHoik · 15/12/2019 16:22

As i am male I would say that being a man is not all its cracked up to be !

Behold!

A Man has arrived to tell us why we are wrong!

Gather round, girls, let us wait breathlessly whilst he imparts his manly wisdom.

Arthritica · 15/12/2019 16:25

No periods, no pregnancy damage to my body, no menopause?
No sexual assault, no rape, and no being paid less than male colleagues?

YES PLEASE

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