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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to send my daughter as a colourful angel?

166 replies

MaybeMaybeNotJ · 15/12/2019 14:04

Nativity is on Tuesday and my daughter would like to wear a rainbow coloured floaty dress, blue wings, white cardigan and white tights.
Plus pipe cleaner halo headband.

Do I have to persuade her to wear a white sheet and try and make something?

OP posts:

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Aridane · 15/12/2019 15:36

Oh go on - let her go as an LGBT rainbow angel!

mininionsteve · 15/12/2019 15:40

If your daughter has chosen her costume let her wear it, at pre-school nativity parents are only looking at their own child. My sons nearly went as Spider-Man.

Who says an angel has to be in white and who says a multi coloured angel has to be a fairy. Surely halo means angel more than a white dress.

There was a panda in the lamb section of our nativity and it was so sweet. I love to see kids with an imagination!

BerwickLad · 15/12/2019 15:42

I think it's great that everyone will notice and comment on what an original minded inclusive child you have and how she doesn't follow the herd. They'll probably all clap and cry when she steps on stage as well as wishing they were you.

whyamidoingthis · 15/12/2019 15:51

@BeyondVotesForFlube -I honestly don't know whether to call the wording of that post racist, or ask how many angels you have seen?

You do know angels and fairies are both fictitious, don't you? I think @Gogreen 's post was a bit more flowers are red, green leaves are green. There's no need to see flowers.... etc.

(And yes, yes, I know you were being facetious, given the grin).

scunner · 15/12/2019 15:57

Love it! As others have said, a it’s Pre-School a rainbow angel is just the job! Enjoy!

SleepyReindeer · 15/12/2019 16:07

I think for a laid-back preschool it's fine. But in the future, for an actual school nativity when the time comes, I would not start off being "that" parent. (As in the one who indulges her DC's whims/going against the grain for a prescribed or expected costume) all the while thinking how individual and alternative their DC are when everyone else has collectively stayed within the requirements to create a coherent look and feel to the performance. Not at all saying you'd do that for a school nativity, just making an observation.

vivariumvivariumsvivaria · 15/12/2019 16:11

The Bible says God sent a rainbow as a promise to us all that there would not be another Ark situation.

So, a rainbow angel sounds absolutely joyous, and I don't know why they aren't all rainbows.

Twillow · 15/12/2019 16:12

Do it. Personalities should shine. Where is the evidence for angels wearing white?? Aren't they naked in the bible?

whatiswrongwithmee · 15/12/2019 16:13

Yes 'ruin the theme!'

Just imagine looking back at photos of all the angles in white, then there's that one kid who's a multicoloured clown angel.

There are obviously worse things to happen . It's just if the school has said an angel, then it's more than likely white.

Anyway, op is asking the school tomorrow and if the school is fine with it, then clown angel it is!

QuantumEntanglement · 15/12/2019 16:13

Not loving some passive aggressive posts 🙈
She can wear white when she’s older at school when there’s a brief smile

‘Passive-aggressive’ doesn’t mean ‘ disagreed with me’.

I don’t understand why you bothered asking since it appears you’ve already decided that your DD, being all alternative and thus way more special than the other non-alternative kids, is going as a rainbow angel regardless.

SheShriekedShrilly · 15/12/2019 16:15

Checking with pre-school is definitely the way forward.

This is brining back memories of dd2 (age 3) eating her angel costume while on stage...

DonPablo · 15/12/2019 16:16

@NerrSnerr, excalty what I was going to say! For preschool I'd send her in what she wants. If you can't be a colourful angel when you're 3 or 4 when can you?

Serin · 15/12/2019 16:24

One year I got carried away with DDs angel outfit. She nearly died laughing at the photos of her 3 year old self complete with fairy lights in her hair, around her wings and under her dress.
Go for it OP.
She is only little once.

kateandme · 15/12/2019 16:24

i dont think there is anything wrong with it as long as she is ok.some kids wouldnt be if they saw all the other in white.
but i also dont think its wrong to say angels wear white.its just somthing from years and years gone by.i doub tthe person who first drew on in white was thining race,hate or anything! probably more along the line of a beam of light hterefore white,pale,shining light(white)
there is nothing wrong with this.
people are making something wrong with it.its ok to have a traditional colour for something.be it white,black raindbow or otherwsie.keeping to that doesnt mean we are rigid and not tolerant or inclusive ffks. and as long as we arent cruel if someone wants to stray from those lines and wear and colourful angel. but there is nothign wrong with saying a angel costume is white.

Emeraldshamrock · 15/12/2019 16:28

You could it might cause a stir I hope it wouldn't stop her taking part.
Why don't you go dressed as a rainbow angel if you want to make a statement.
I wouldn't bat an eyelid if they was an angel dressed in PVC.
I wouldn't use my DC to check out the reactions, our school does dress rehearsal a week before and you leave your costume in class, so no surprise angels.

ReceptacleForTheRespectable · 15/12/2019 16:30

i also dont think its wrong to say angels wearwhite

It is. There are many, many depictions of angels over the last 1000 years wearing colours other than white. As angels are fictitious, our depictions are all there is to base it on.

NerrSnerr · 15/12/2019 16:32

Who would it cause a stir with? Are PP genuinely saying they would be upset, offended or judge that a 3 year old is wearing a costume that is different to the norm? They are 3 or 4, not even at school yet. It's a bit of fun not a West End Musical!

The OP has said her daughter wants to wear the dress, not that she's making her wear it to make a statement.

AliMonkey · 15/12/2019 16:36

Definitely send her in that outfit.
(a) It's preschool, everyone's just grateful if every child joins in and doesn't cry.
(b) Bible doesn't tell you what either the angel who went to Mary or the angels who appeared to the shepherds were wearing. And in revelation there's an angel "with a rainbow above their head" so maybe a rainbow angel is actually true to the story.
(c) In my experience, once they are at school they will give instructions eg (white t-shirt and pale bottom half for angel, brown or grey for donkey) but if none given then no reason not to interpret it freely (to a point - perhaps sending them in a black heavy metal t-shirt might be taking it too far).
(d) Any school or pre-school that complains about children not wearing exactly what they hoped needs to bear in mind that most children don't have clothing in every possible colour and parents often can't afford to buy new for a one-off event - I have trawled many a charity shop to try to find something needed for school event and failed to find what was needed.
(e) Children do need to learn that sometimes they need to conform to expectations, eg wearing uniform to school, dressing smartly for a wedding, but this is not an occasion or age for that lesson needing to be taught!

AltheaVestr1t · 15/12/2019 16:38

She sounds amazing. Go for it!

Emeraldshamrock · 15/12/2019 16:38

Sorry I thought the child was performing on stage in a group in a Catholic setting.
In preschool yes it is fine she'll be lovely.
I am dressing DS as a snow man and Santa this week for Christmas theme in preschool.

amijustparanoidorjuststoned · 15/12/2019 16:45

I absolutely agree that you should send her in as a rainbow angel!

I wish I could go to business meetings dressed in colourful rainbow attire

kateandme · 15/12/2019 16:46

im just sat here now wishing a angel in multi colour would come to me!

TimeforanotherChange · 15/12/2019 16:49

Friend of mine has a brother married to a Thai lady who was told their son needed 'an animal' costume for the nursery play.

I don't think she grasped the Nativity because she sent him in a Tiger costume. I think that was fab. I like to think of there being a tiger in the stable in Bethlehem...

Emeraldshamrock · 15/12/2019 16:51

@kateandme Me too. Angel Aurora. 🌈

Emeraldshamrock · 15/12/2019 16:52

@TimeforanotherChange Very cute

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