He wont have tory voting grandparents over for xmas

[Smilebehappy123]

As it says in the title
DH refusing to have my grandparents for xmas dinner, says he cant stand to have xmas dinner with them as they shared with us yesterday that they voted tory , we are both very left wing and have always voted labour
Not only does he not want to have xmas dinner with them he doesn't want to socialise at all with them.
What can I do ? Grandfather is very political so this topic will be brought up
Dh says he cant stand the selfish old bastards and doesn't want to know them

almost all grandparents are Tory. this amounts to saying 'won't have grandparents over', which is obviously ridiculous.

A lot of grandparents are Tory, but not 'almost all' by any means. That's one massive generalisation.

Exactly LovePoppy, I had that in my mind just after I posted send. They are the ones making personal attacks.

And yet, I’ve been posting here for years

The voting on this is confusing and inappropriate. AIBU to think my husband is an intolerant bogot? would have been clearer. Suspect I voted the wrong way. The husband is a narrow minded bigot though. This Tory manifesto isn't an austerity manifesto. I voted differeently to my husband who voted differently to his parents. My dad was a Tory and my mum Labour. Most politicians want to improve the country, the disagreement is on how to best achieve that.

Not according to Advanced Search.

Hi all

We'd like the thread to move forward now, so can we forget the personal attacks and accusations of troll hunting? We don't want to have to suspend anybody or delete the thread!

Your DH is a fucking tit.

I think the issue is not that your grandparents voted Tory - I am holding onto the belief that although selfish individuals are more likely to vote Tory, that doesn't mean that all Tories don't give a stuff about anyone but themselves. The issue appears to be that your grandparents say a lot of hugely offensive things and have little, if any respect for their fellow human beings. I would not want to socialise with people who have said some of the offensive things I've read on the first two pages here so I have some sympathy for your OH. Maybe you need to see if there is a compromise you can make, e.g. invite them over for evening drinks rather than the whole day - during which your OH can be busy washing up or something.

@AuntSpiker - agreed. The flowers thread tells you all you need to know.

What I’m struggling to understand is that, given your grandparents are outspoken and have very extreme right wing views, surely it would have been obvious to you and your DH what way they would vote. The ‘letting it slip’ bit doesn’t really make sense. Surely, given their bigoted views, your DH would have known what they are like before Thursday. You would not have been unreasonable to have not invited them. But you are unreasonable to stand by and have them disinvited on account of views that they have plainly held for a long time.

He's not bothered that they voted Conservative, he's annoyed that his party got wiped out.

I’m with him 100%. I would do exactly the same.

Going against the grain, I understand him completely. Tory-voting family members have expressed horrific things to me during this election, echoing Rees-Mogg on Grenfell, moaning about 'benefit scroungers' and teenage mothers. I can't bear it.

PhilSwagelka

Last time I was there one adult family member made 'disabled noises' and her children howled with laughter. She is a TA. I've never been back.

You don't spend time with family at Christmas to agree about politics. You spend time with your family because they are your family! (Not his family granted but they are your family and he is your husband ergo they are his family too...). He needs to grow up. I can't discuss politics with my brother so we just avoid it at Christmas and family occasions.

Gosh, your husband sounds more loathsome than they are - couldn't bear to be with someone who had such rigid, totalitarian ideas about other people's right to have a (wrong) opinion.

Tell me, does he change his mind when the facts before him change, or does he stick to his original opinion? (ie does he have a mature intellect otherwise generally, or is he just another dogmatist)

I don't really understand how you say your granddad is very political & has extreme views - why hasn't this come up before?

Hmm, LadyMacbethWasMisunderstood makes a really excellent point here.

You don't "let it slip" when you are massively outspoken about your politics.

You might "let it slip" if you keep yourself to yourself or you walk on eggshells around someone who has to be treated like a PFB when it comes to politics.

You might get banned from the house right after you "let it slip" in that case as well.

That point makes the tales of their other comments feel a bit like justification after the fact?

Ahhh... having read your previous threads I feel you have far bigger issues than Tory grandparents.

Well doesn't he just sound like a typical labour voter!

Agree with your husband on this one. Who people vote for is a good indicator of who they are as people their values etc and if he finds that doesn't align with his beliefs etc or is in fact the opposite to why should he be forced to spend one of the most important days of the year with them. I don't think you should alienate yourself from them completely but