He wont have tory voting grandparents over for xmas

[Smilebehappy123]

As it says in the title
DH refusing to have my grandparents for xmas dinner, says he cant stand to have xmas dinner with them as they shared with us yesterday that they voted tory , we are both very left wing and have always voted labour
Not only does he not want to have xmas dinner with them he doesn't want to socialise at all with them.
What can I do ? Grandfather is very political so this topic will be brought up
Dh says he cant stand the selfish old bastards and doesn't want to know them

'People slating the DH haven't read the updates. GPs sound absolutely awful.'

They do. However who they vote for is neither here nor there.

It's interesting that the thread started with him not wanting them around purely as they voted Tory, but as the responses were calling him out they are now extremely vocal with a lot of nasty opinions

Read the OP, why don't you? It's also because the the GP will bring it up.

Not read all 18 pages, but...

Are they racist?
If they are, and that's what drove their vote, then HINBU.
If they're not racist, then HIBU.

I would have Tory/Leave voters over but would really struggle with racists. My racist, Leave voting mum is coming to stay with me for Christmas, I would much rather she didn't come but feel I have no choice. It's going to be a real challenge.

I’m with your DH!!! Not because they are Tory voters, that would be a strange reason not to invite them. But because they sound bloody awful!!

I actually agree with your dh, you grandparents sound like a right pair of arseholes, and I wouldn't want them in my house either.

I don’t blame your DH, I would feel the same way. It’s not because they are Tories, it’s because they have vile views on the vulnerable in our society which they won’t keep to themselves. I’m so lucky my close family are all lefties.

Leave your 'D'H at home on his own and spend Christmas day with your GP's at their house.

I couldn't abide being around such a childish arse.

I never knew my grandparents. He needs to grow the fuck up.

GPs sound awful but tbh I am largely baffled by people who would vote for a particular party regardless in every election whichever way that might be. Different approaches work at different times and to think otherwise is naive both ways. People have a range of views and to shoehorn it all into left or right wing is tiresome and unhelpful.

Laughing at people less fortunate makes them cunts not Tory voters. So yanbu to not invite them.

Interestingly re the women's rights and trans issue my df who is a life long Tory voter (although can't stand the DM) is apoplectic that he could decide to identify as a woman and wander into the ladies. The DM is also fairly sensible at times on this particular issue (I read it via the free app, most of its drivel but it's an interesting window into the minds of people). The Guardian I also read and it has just as much propaganda and drivel interestingly, but that's leftie so apparently okay 🤔. I think reading both critically gives me appropriate life balance

I don’t think he’s being unreasonable to not want them there on Christmas Day. I’d try and keep the peace/be civil and see them for other occasions in the future but as the election is still fresh I think it’s fair to not have them round for this Christmas. My Dad and Nan voted Tory and have views I strongly disagree with so I’ve purposefully not spoken to them since the election but I don’t speak to them everyday anyway, do they have no idea I’m mad at them 🤣 Luckily they’re both good at not bringing up politics around me.

I never knew my grandparents

So this address the issue how?

Do read the the OP's OP. It's clear the the GP is goady.

Is he only going to their funerals I case any of their wealth comes your way? I bet he wouldn't be calling to refuse that, would he.

@KenDodd - they aren't racist (that the OP has mentioned) but they do mock and belittle the homeless and people living in poverty. And they refuse to stop or to not discuss such issues. Is that acceptable?

Tell him to bloody well grow up. My mum votes differently to myself, as do lots of people I know. I would suggest that you all agree to not discuss politics.

rule with my IL's is that no-one talks politics, ever. GF needs to respect that or i agree he shouldnt come. It would result in heated debate....especially with alcohol thrown in.

My ILs are hard left, husband and I are middle right. We had a few interesting debates when we first met, but neither IL's or husband/I were going to change.

Misleading title

It’s really about their behaviour

It sounds like it would be easier if they have Xmas with each other.

I'd try an persuade your husband (as hard as it'll be) to take the superior high ground and invite them.
The first time they start cut them off with a 'not today'
If they persist stop whatever you all might've doing (eating, watching telly) ask them to leave and stand next to the open door until they leave.
They sound like my jn laws to be honest, the woman who said to my face 'don't mind the Polish so much, it's the Muslims I don't trust'.
I think the people who are giving the OPs husband a hard time have never needed to spend time with odious people like that.

I do not think your DH is being unreasonable. So it now turns out your own parents want nothing to do with their own mother/father. It sounds like they are seriously the epitome of a hard right conservative. Selfish, greedy, judgemental, nasty, scrooge-like. Seriously, Christmas should be spent with people you WANT to be with. I query why you would want to spend any time with your GPs at all! They sound like absolutely horrible and hateful pieces of work, and if I were you, I would have wiped them loooonnnggg ago. Even if this election wasn't held, I still would not have wanted to have them anywhere near me for Christmas. Your DH is right. His anger is understandable, the election happened like only 48 hours ago. It is fresh in his mind, his emotions are raw; lets face it, having BJ is like an English version of Trump. Yes, I know colleagues and friends and half the population and all that; but this is Christmas. This is your own GPs, who even your parents are NC with. For a reason. Btw where are your parents in this? Aren't you having Christmas with them? What about DH's parents?

Those reasons, as you've given us, show what utterly horrible excuses for humans your GPs are. You should have gone NC long ago, I don't understand why you would have even invited them. If they are NCed with everyone else - TOUGH! They need to face that. They have each other anyway. Be honest with yourself; if they come for Christmas and being as outspoken and belligerent as they are, it will lead to an explosive day, an unhappy and miserable Christmas for you, and your DH will blow up at you as well, it could cause a big rift in your marriage. I think you need to put your marriage and yourself ahead of these GPs who are not worth it. I would wipe them, and I would tell them why in a letter. Your husband is right, having them would only lead to misery, anger, fights and disaster. Why would you put your husband and yourself through that and possibly have a massive argument with your husband on Christmas day? This is a train crash, and your husband wants to get you both off the tracks. Take his advice. And wipe them from your lives, once and for all.

@DBML
The hard left and the hard right are as bad as each other. Intolerant, self righteous and lacking in ability to compromise.
Try reading past the title. I wouldn’t want to listen to someone spouting off about “feckless” poor people at Christmas. If they can’t keep a button on their rather unChristian views during a Christian festival (supposedly celebrating compassion etc) it’s probably better they stay at home and do something else.

God! Just read some of your posts about them OP. I'm now with your husband, they sound like awful people, I'm not surprised your parents want nothing to do with them.

So, yes, I would uninvite them and further, I don't think I'd bother seeing them again at all. They can stuff their inheritance up their arse.

Leave your 'D'H at home on his own and spend Christmas day with your GP's at their house.

I couldn't abide being around such a childish arse

Really, @OlaEliza? Yet you could abide spending a whole day with people who would spend all day proclaiming their political views to wind others up, and think it's the fault of the homeless that they're homeless, believe people are only poor because they spend money on drugs, and go into fits of laughter at the thought of the lower classes getting Christmas food at Iceland?

My brother holds the following views:

Majority of homeless are in that position due to drug taking. He believes this due to personal experience working with homeless and documentaries.

He believes that people in low paid work, didn’t bother in school. That their parents didn’t promote education. That they were disengaged and didn’t take responsibility for their own progress.

He believes that single mums with multiple children by different fathers, partially have themselves to blame.

He believes that handouts are unhelpful. That people should be taught resilience and work ethics. He believes that when people get more money through benefits by not working, there is something wrong with the system.

My brother believes the NHS should be privatised. He’d prefer some of his tax and NI back and would rather use that money to pay for private. He believes that he’d be better off that way.

I’ve just described my brother to you in a few statements and at this point many people will be writhing in their pants, calling him every name under the sun. But here’s a few more things about my brother:

Despite his beliefs he volunteers working in deprived areas, teaching basketball etc to disadvantaged kids, trying to raise their ambitions and resilience. He will often buy them stationary and revision guides out of his own money.

He would never give a homeless person cash, but is well known for buying them food and cups of tea.

He often donates bags of clothes, toys etc to charity shops.

There is plenty about him that is kind and thoughtful and more to him than his extreme views, which incidentally are not that uncommon.

You’ve said xyz about your grandparents and not one kind thing. I fail to believe that anyone is that inherently nasty. Or you would have stopped inviting them over some times ago. To suddenly stop now, due to them ‘voting tory’ is petulant and unkind, particularly when you’ve been tolerating their extreme right views for years. You both need to get a grip and realise that you’re not going to agree about political views so just don’t talk about them.

I have read the first post, it's says they are vocal about voting Tory. The subsequent posts state about sneering at the homeless etc, wouldn't you mention that to start with? Or are we supposed to assume everyone who votes conservative thinks that?

Can you speak beforehand to grandparents, dH and all who will be at yours on Christmas Day, that because people's opinions are so very different among them, you will have a rule that they will not be brought up, even obliquely. Get them all to agree before the Day, and remind them that it is the season for good cheer and goodwill, and try and have a lighthearted, merry time if at all possible. Music may help, and the presence of any young children to distract the adults. Also, silly board games, etc.

festering pustules of Tory support

I absolutely love this description. I know a few of these too and no fucking way will they ever be invited to my house!