He wont have tory voting grandparents over for xmas

[Smilebehappy123]

As it says in the title
DH refusing to have my grandparents for xmas dinner, says he cant stand to have xmas dinner with them as they shared with us yesterday that they voted tory , we are both very left wing and have always voted labour
Not only does he not want to have xmas dinner with them he doesn't want to socialise at all with them.
What can I do ? Grandfather is very political so this topic will be brought up
Dh says he cant stand the selfish old bastards and doesn't want to know them

You've made them sound like a a comedy sketch about rich old racist people.
@HubeusRagrid
I think they achieved that themselves through their comments about shopping at Iceland and charity collectors (assuming they did make those comments).

I think the OP just added more info to give a bit more background info re grandparents and her OH dislike of them. Most people don’t have time to write a whole Biography worth of back info in their initial post. Well done to OP’s husband for not tolerating the grandparents intolerant and judge mental attitudes to people not like them.

But anyway the grandparents sound fucking awful so dh in not being unreasonable.

I was going to say your husband was being a bit petulant but the more you post about your grandparents it sounds like they are pretty obnoxious people in general - and this was the excuse your husband was looking for to not have to spend anymore time with them. I don't blame him!

Politics aside, I won't host anyone in my own home that is unpleasant, mean or bigoted. Out in the world every day we all have no choice but to cross paths with people whose views and opinions differ from our own dramatically, and tolerance is necessary.

In my own home, no way. It should be sanctuary from the craziness of the world and I will not invite in people who can't or won't respect that. I'm with your DH on this one.

@Howlovely
🤜

So your OP says the problem is that they voted Tory. But you’ve since come up with a lot of examples of them being ill mannered. Presumably they have always been ill mannered. You are not necessarily being unreasonable not to want to share Christmas with people who hold extreme, racist, unpleasant views and who have no qualms about sharing them. You are being very unreasonable for using the way they voted as shorthand for “people with extreme, racist, unpleasant views”.

It sounds like you don’t like them and want to blame your husband. If you can’t just say to them “no politics on Christmas Day or we’ll shoo you out the door” then don’t ask them.

Sound like it’s not cos of how they voted anyway with your comments after about them, they just sound horrible. It’s not their vote it’s their character. You just want to say it’s their vote because it’s Mumsnet and 3 days after an election.

He does realise it wasn't just your grandparents that voted Tory it was the majority of the country right ?
I think it was a minority of those who voted actually (43%), and an even smaller minority of the entire country. In a better democratic system the other parties would have as many seats as the Tories and we would have a government that would represent us all rather than just the 43%.

My parents wont entertain them at all and are no contact , we are in the north sister in the south can stand them either

So why do you propose to entertain them, @Smilebehappy123? They sound foul and the Tory thing is a red herring.

Are you hoping they will leave their massive wealth to you when they die?

Your DH sounds so tedious. We’re all different. I mean I can’t imagine anything more dreary than spending Christmas with a bunch of Guardian-readers, but I wouldn’t disinvite them to lunch if they were family.

Maybe over the carrots you can discuss the fact that the awful Boris is going to enshrine in law - for the first time ever - a pledge to spend £35 billion on the NHS by 2024?

I have no empathy for anyone who voted Tory when they’re the kind who laugh at the misfortune of others.

Even less so when the current Prime Minister suppressed a report on Russian interference and has been dining with rich Russians after the result. And don’t defend it - it’s indefensible.

Wake the fuck up people.

echt what an odd comment

Only for the hard of thinking.

The thread title is misleading. It’s not that they voted Tory, it’s that they are nasty people. Your DH is right.

I'd have nothing to do with the verminous cretins.

My parents wont entertain them at all and are no contact , we are in the north sister in the south can stand them either

^So no one in your family has anything to do with them? End of the day your husband doesn’t want them in his house one Christmas Day. You sound respect his wishes as your Grandparents sound absolutely awful. No wonder their family wants nothing to do with them.

Sounds like a typical lefty

Put DH's toys back in his pram and tell him to grow up.

'They laughed at the locals doing a shoebox collection for needy families as in their words 'they shouldn't spend their money on drugs and feed their kids '

They sound awful. On the basis of this ^ why on earth have you invited them in the first place? That is the point, not who they voted for.

The 'dh won't invite Tory voting grandparents' is just goady crap.

I have sympathy with your DH’s view point and have would have similar reaction.
I have rules now for Tory family members

• if you raise politics then don’t be surprised when I tell you exactly what I think of your behaviour (don’t raise it and I won’t)

-Don’t bring the Daily Fail into my house

-Don’t try to pass your ideas on my children

• Don’t say anything like that implies as a baby boomer your success is due to your hard work, no doubt you did work hard but so do millions of people in zero hours contracts using food banks. You don’t get to be smug. I will call you out.

Will attend their funerals but not invite them to Christmas dinner - lovely !

Yes, god forbid children should be exposed to a range of ideas.

I am not happy with my husband's family for voting Tory. I am bitter, worried and sad. Even more so as a EU citizen, rightly or wrongly I take it as a slap in the face.
But. I will spend Christmas with them.
Because they have thr decency to keep their opinions to myself. They know how I feel and wouldn't dream of rubbing it in.
In short they have manners.
Your DH's problem is your GP's lack of manners.
Not the fact that they voted Tory.

Set an example of kindness and tolerance and give them a lovely day. Play some music and some games. If politics come up, be civil in discussion: it is possible to disagree politely

He needs to grow up and accept others don't share his views.

I'm sure he does accept that. That doesn't meant that he has to have people with such intolerant, cruel views in his house. To be honest, OP, I don't understand why you invited them round in the first place.