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AIBU?

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Original poster

He wont have tory voting grandparents over for xmas

830 replies

Smilebehappy123 · 14/12/2019 23:35

As it says in the title
DH refusing to have my grandparents for xmas dinner, says he cant stand to have xmas dinner with them as they shared with us yesterday that they voted tory , we are both very left wing and have always voted labour
Not only does he not want to have xmas dinner with them he doesn't want to socialise at all with them.
What can I do ? Grandfather is very political so this topic will be brought up
Dh says he cant stand the selfish old bastards and doesn't want to know them

OP posts:
DeathStare · 15/12/2019 08:23

PEOPLE READ THE FULL THREAD AS IT SOUNDS LIKE THESE GRANDPARENTS ARE TOXIC INDIVIUALS

^THIS^

As a brief summary the title may be a little misleading. The GPs have some particularly judgemental and nasty viewpoints which they present in a mocking and nasty manner. This has created family conflict and has caused other relatives to go NC with them. They refuse to keep their opinions to themselves. The DH has agreed to have them round if nobody (including himself) discusses anything political. They won't do this.

emelsie · 15/12/2019 08:23

Tory sympathisers- apparently their political view is now an excuse for being openly discriminatory.

Ginger1982 · 15/12/2019 08:25

Just admit that you don't want them to come over. Stop hiding behind your DH.

HubeusRagrid · 15/12/2019 08:26

I'm sorry but to me it seems like you weren't getting the validation you'd hoped for with your OP so you drip fed a hell of a lot of nasty info. You've made them sound like a a comedy sketch about rich old racist people. Why would you bother with them even before the election if they were really as bad as your drip feeds say. I don't believe that part. I do believe that your husband doesn't want them over because they voted Tory and he's acting like a sore loser at the minute. Heaven forbid people should have a different political opinion! Must make them a racist bigot blah blah blah. It's easy to shut down when people bring up the election, I've witnessed it twice at meals since Friday morning! Just say you aren't discussing it and change the conversation. Don't ban elderly relatives from Christmas for god's sake.

JammieCodger · 15/12/2019 08:27

The grandparents (like so many of the right-leaning posters on here) probably think politics is just about voting, and that by not mentioning Boris or Thursday’s shitshow there are politely ‘not talking about politics’.

Politics is everything. It’s your attitude to others; it’s house prices; it’s whether you think Greta should be at school; it’s your local park being closed to the public because it’s been taken over by a festival; it’s whether you can afford to send your child to nursery; it’s grandpa’s hernia surgery being pushed back; it’s serial rapists slipping through the probation net because funding has been slashed to the bone; it’s your child being bitten in class by the child who isn’t being given the support they need. Politics isn’t over for another 5 years now because you’ve put your tick in the box. Politics is seeing the most vulnerable people suffer and die because of the choice made on Thursday. It’s not something that can be, or should be, got over.

chloxox08 · 15/12/2019 08:30

I wouldn't uninvite someone just because they vote Tory but after reading your updates they sound absolutely vile and I wouldn't want anything to do with people like that, family or not

BuggerOffAndGoodDayToYou · 15/12/2019 08:30

Your DH is an idiot. My DD voted the opposite way to me but she is coming home for Christmas. We live in a country with the right tons free vote!

Having said that... if someone didn’t want me in their home just because of the way I vote then I don’t think I’d WANT to visit them.

PhilCornwall1 · 15/12/2019 08:30

You've made them sound like a a comedy sketch

These must be the grandparents!!

He wont have tory voting grandparents over for xmas
icantbecani · 15/12/2019 08:30

Expect your dh will be quite happy to spend any inheritance that comes your way from your wealthy family in due course. Or do you think he will want you to donate it to those in need? He sounds like an opinionated twat (your dh) and you sound spineless for not immediately putting him straight.

Howlovely · 15/12/2019 08:30

@JammieCodger - an excellent post! 🤜🏻🤛🏻

Iggly · 15/12/2019 08:32

Politics is everything. It’s your attitude to others; it’s house prices; it’s whether you think Greta should be at school; it’s your local park being closed to the public because it’s been taken over by a festival; it’s whether you can afford to send your child to nursery

^this

Anyone who tries to disassociate themselves from the fact that their political beliefs means that they’re aligned with the likes of Nick Griffin and Tommy Robinson is deluding themselves I’m afraid.

mrssunshinexxx · 15/12/2019 08:32

He does realise it wasn't just your grandparents that voted Tory it was the majority of the country right ?

catspyjamas123 · 15/12/2019 08:34

Your house sounds utterly miserable at Xmas - what a humourless bunch you all are. I think the important takeaway from this whole debacle is that should the grandparents die and leave you an inheritance you MUST donate all of it to the nearest food bank - anything else would be hypocrisy. I don’t understand why you are married and propping up the patriarchy either.

Iggly · 15/12/2019 08:34

He does realise it wasn't just your grandparents that voted Tory it was the majority of the country right

Read all the OP’s updates

icantbecani · 15/12/2019 08:34

In face better idea. Why don't you put your grandparents straight and hopefully they will cut you out of their will.

mrssunshinexxx · 15/12/2019 08:35

@Iggly I have.

NewName73 · 15/12/2019 08:36

Their political views will have been familiar to you long before the election happened.

It sounds as if your DH is (understandably in my view) miffed by the election result, and wants to dis-invite them just because of that (not acceptable).

You need to find a way you can all be together without letting the difference in views cause friction. This is something you are never going to agree on.

echt · 15/12/2019 08:37

He does realise it wasn't just your grandparents that voted Tory it was the majority of the country right

Sooo not getting the DH's point.

OP, While I get that Tories are arseholes, just keep politics out of the day. Oh, I see that the GF won't STFU so unless you can get him to do so, your DH is in the right.

catspyjamas123 · 15/12/2019 08:37

Doesn’t sound like there’s any love in this household.

SunflowersNKittens · 15/12/2019 08:38

I thought lefties were supposed to be a tolerant inclusive bunch?

Yetanotherwinter · 15/12/2019 08:38

What a child he is. This a is a pathetic response and probably not that unusual.

mrssunshinexxx · 15/12/2019 08:38

@echt Hmm what an odd comment.
Of course I 'get it' it's not rocket science. I have nothing to add re the drip feeding other than they sound vile.

catspyjamas123 · 15/12/2019 08:38

It’s as if lefties might actually be lacking in any empathy!

BuildBuildings · 15/12/2019 08:39

You can't be that left wing if you've always voted Labour. Tony Blair and Gordon Brown government's were as Thatcherite as Thatcher.

DeathStare · 15/12/2019 08:39

He does realise it wasn't just your grandparents that voted Tory it was the majority of the country right ?

I'm sure he realises. But the rest of them aren't planning to spend Christmas Day sitting in his house, eating his food, enjoying his hospitality, while making nasty, judgemental comments about other people that make him feel uncomfortable and refusing to stop.