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AIBU?

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Original poster

He wont have tory voting grandparents over for xmas

830 replies

Smilebehappy123 · 14/12/2019 23:35

As it says in the title
DH refusing to have my grandparents for xmas dinner, says he cant stand to have xmas dinner with them as they shared with us yesterday that they voted tory , we are both very left wing and have always voted labour
Not only does he not want to have xmas dinner with them he doesn't want to socialise at all with them.
What can I do ? Grandfather is very political so this topic will be brought up
Dh says he cant stand the selfish old bastards and doesn't want to know them

OP posts:
TheCatInAHat · 15/12/2019 08:01

I think it’s fair enough to not host people who have form for being rude and obnoxious when being hosted. I probably would’ve have invited them in the first place though rather than being in the position of having to uninvite them.

LucheroTena · 15/12/2019 08:01

If they’re already invited it’s difficult to rescind now. I would just keep changing the subject if it comes up. They can only argue if you give them an argument. Just don’t engage in any talk on politics. It’s a weird topic to discuss at Christmas anyway and should be possible with a busy Christmas Day to breezily move on from?

lowlandLucky · 15/12/2019 08:02

Bet he will happily spend any inheritance they leave you. I think it is time to contact quickiedivorce.com

Cam77 · 15/12/2019 08:02

It amazes me how many people form an opinion and comment when they’ve clearly not bothered reading below the headline/first few lines.

Goldenchildsmum · 15/12/2019 08:03

Exactly @TheCatInAHat

Who invites relatives who are always THIS awful without a pre plan worked out with DH beforehand?

It APPEARS the OP does this - and then tries to blame everyone but herself for her stupidity

Bollox.

Aranan · 15/12/2019 08:04

I’m with your husband. Unless they can agree to keep their views to themselves, why should you have to put up with that over Christmas?

Lgxo · 15/12/2019 08:05

@DeathStare

Are you the OP’s “DH” in disguise? This has really affected you aye? Or maybe you just enjoy arguing with strangers on the internet for a kick? Idk.

mathanxiety · 15/12/2019 08:07

Why exactly do they even wish to celebrate Christmas given that they clearly have no Christian values whatsoever!?
Cam77

It's because nobody appreciates a free meal like people who begrudge others charity.

CosmoK · 15/12/2019 08:08

So he's allowed a political viewpoint but your grandparents aren't??
He's a dick.
I couldn't be with someone who wouldn't welcome my family into our house. I'd be taking Christmas to them and leaving him and his political views to celebrate alone

Shouldbedoing · 15/12/2019 08:09

I've only read to halfway at this point but I think your DC needs to get D and V overnight Monday 23rd so on.Xmas Eve morning you can call.it off, create a quarantine zone. They'll.still.have time to get Xmas dinner from M and S.

Mlou32 · 15/12/2019 08:09

@WendyMoiraAngelaDarling

I'm not sure why you're interested, but since you ask "what aggression"... I would say someone accusing me of having an "I'm alright jack mentality" and asking "do you not get it" as if I am stupid, pretty aggressive, or at the very least, quite goading behaviour.

I don't mind anyone disagreeing with me, it's what life is about, agreements, disagreements. However it's how you speak to peope is what matters. I didn't really care for how that other poster was speaking to me therefore I responded in kind. Note that none of my other responses to other folk have been nippy. Just to her. In response to her attitude.

Anyway - with all due respect - I barely have time to respond to respectful posters who I am interacting with, let alone discussing the intricacies of one of my comments and why I was annoyed by it to someone who is completely unrelated to it, so I won't have time to reply to you further. Have a nice day.

RedWineIsFabulous · 15/12/2019 08:10

Haven't read through the thread but seriously, he needs to go the fuck up.

How pathetic.

Each and every one of us are entitled and allowed to have an opinion.

It's called democracy.

To refuse them Christmas lunch due to the fact they never voted Labour is absolutely disgusting and really shows his true colours.

How ironic that Labour voters proclaim to be the only ones full of compassion, empathy , kindness and Tory voters are all complete cunts. Every single one of them.

Yet your husband is behaving like the biggest cunt here of all.

wildcherries · 15/12/2019 08:10

After reading your updates, I agree with your husband. They sound awful.

diddl · 15/12/2019 08:11

So is this more like the final straw than politics per se?

Although he's handled it badly, I can see his point.

Why do you see them, Op?

TheHeathenOfSuburbia · 15/12/2019 08:12

Has anyone else noticed that a whole raft of Tory voters have judged on a nine word headline, jumped in to vote and/or slag off the OP without reading any further details that might give them a more informed basis on which to form a view?

It would obviously be wrong to draw any wider conclusions from that Hmm

WorkingAsHardAsICan · 15/12/2019 08:13

I assume he cannot stand anyone else having a different point of view - does he not think that people can see things differently? He sounds domineering tbh

Mlou32 · 15/12/2019 08:13

@Howlovely I'd say what you are "one of" is someone that goes around speaking down to people in a condescending/rude manner on the internet as it's the only way that you'll get to speak to peope like that; you certainly wouldn't speak to people like that face to face.

As I said, have a lovely day!

DeathStare · 15/12/2019 08:14

Are you the OP’s “DH” in disguise? This has really affected you aye? Or maybe you just enjoy arguing with strangers on the internet for a kick? Idk

Well @Lgxo you're also arguing so I guess it has either affected you too or you just enjoy arguing with strangers on the internet!

I guess I just hate the hypocrisy of this thread. Imagine a woman had posted saying her ILs made nasty judgemental comments about people and she hated it. That it caused a nasty atmosphere and had broken the family up because other family members had now gone no contact. That the ILs had been asked to stop making such comments but won't. That she didn't want them in her house on Christmas Day unless they agreed to stop - which they won't. The response would be united. EVERYONE would be telling her that she should put her foot down and not have them. That if her DH didn't back she had a DH problem. Why is it different when it is the OP's DH being made to feel uncomfortable in his own home? Why should he have to have his Christmas ruined by people who refuse to keep their opinions to themselves?

mathanxiety · 15/12/2019 08:14

Lgxo
I think it’s very pathetic to let political views get in the way at Christmas time.

Is it a political view that the homeless are responsible for their situation, or that people receiving charity shoeboxes are junkies who spend their money on drugs, and what political party advocates the mockery of people who shop in Iceland?

Or is it just a case of crassness and gobsmacking rudeness to inflict views like that on your hosts?

DeathStare · 15/12/2019 08:16

So he's allowed a political viewpoint but your grandparents aren't??

@CosmoK The OP has already said that her DH is happy to agree not to talk politics on Christmas Day but that her grandparents won't do this.

sashh · 15/12/2019 08:18

Tell them there is a change of plan, you are all going to be helping out at a homeless shelter and that they are welcome to come along.

Be prepared to carry this through.

FrancisCrawford · 15/12/2019 08:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DuckWillow · 15/12/2019 08:18

PEOPLE READ THE FULL THREAD AS IT SOUNDS LIKE THESE GRANDPARENTS ARE TOXIC INDIVIUALS.

Initially I thought your OH was being unreasonable but having read the full thread I agree with him. These two people have already sig ifiantly upset members of the family enough for at least one to go non contact. They are toxic individuals,

My FIL is a lifelong Tory as is my MIL, my DH is Labour through and through. I am pissed off that Boris won but I would have been equally pissed off if Jeremy Corbyn had won. We all have different views but we can spend time with my in-laws, have a drink and a laugh over Xmas because politics don’t especially matter when we are all together.
If politics do come up then discussion is good natured and usually peppered with laughter,

It sounds like this isn’t the case with your grandparents who sound toxic.

If you want to invite them over then united front with your OH and grit your teeth when they start. Politics isn’t the issue here, the fact that they are toxic is the real problem.

Karwomannghia · 15/12/2019 08:20

If it is inevitable they’ll start the best strategy is to just laugh and change the subject. They obviously enjoy winding you up.

Howlovely · 15/12/2019 08:22

@Mlou32 - Good grief! Please let this go and just get on with your day. You've made your point, you like shouting at strangers on the internet, not realising that you are actually the aggressive and rude one who, one hopes, wouldn't react to people in real life the way you have on here this morning. Just get on with your day, please. And thank you, I shall indeed enjoy my day.