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Original poster

He wont have tory voting grandparents over for xmas

830 replies

Smilebehappy123 · 14/12/2019 23:35

As it says in the title
DH refusing to have my grandparents for xmas dinner, says he cant stand to have xmas dinner with them as they shared with us yesterday that they voted tory , we are both very left wing and have always voted labour
Not only does he not want to have xmas dinner with them he doesn't want to socialise at all with them.
What can I do ? Grandfather is very political so this topic will be brought up
Dh says he cant stand the selfish old bastards and doesn't want to know them

OP posts:
Marnie76 · 15/12/2019 06:44

Do people not read! Even if you don’t want to rtft as least read all the OPs comments Fgs.
They sound vile OP, I’m with your husband. But why do you stay in contact with them? What redeemable features do they have (money?)

Mlou32 · 15/12/2019 06:45

@Cam77 you have completely missed my point and are using it to put your own political viewpoint forward (which co-incidentally I'm not interested in, that is completely your business).

I asked the OP what if she had decided on a change of politics, what would his reaction be to her. I didn't ask what most "decent" people would vote for. Although I don't think voting for one party makes you decent or indecent. I think intolerance towards other peoples democratic voting choices decides whether one is a decent or not very decent person.

Before you start with the "you must be a tory...". No I'm not. I ended up voting SNP who are in fact as far from Tory politics as you can get. However I respect peoples right to make the choice to vote for whatever party they wish and certainly don't lower myself to insults and mud slinging because of it.

rhubarbcrumbles · 15/12/2019 06:46

He's being very unreasonable. I wouldn't vote Tory if you paid me but we are still spending some of Xmas with somebody in the family who is an ardent Tory, we just agree not to mention politics.

mathanxiety · 15/12/2019 06:46

Savingforarainyday

I imagine two weeks after an election they might be even more insufferable than they were before. Gloating, rubbing salt into wounds, etc.

Also, it's likely that two weeks after the Tories have won an election with a majority that seems to have them set for the next five years, the H is even less in the mood for the GPs' rudeness than he has been up to now.

Mlou32 · 15/12/2019 06:51

@Howlovely "why on earth would OP leave her husband out of Christmas and go to spend the day with her bigoted grandparents". Because politics aside, you don't force someone that you supposedly love, to spend the day without their own loved ones, because of a disagreement about politics. Clearly her grandparents are important to her and for him to demand she doesn't have them over on Christmas, when she clearly wants to or it wouldn't be an issue, is cruel. It would be a different story if they had done something awful to him personally, but because of political differences, he wants them banned from christmas. Just cruel and awfully intolerant.

Pipanchew2 · 15/12/2019 06:53

Hi OP
Initially I was going to say DH was unreasonable but the more I read your posts the more I agree with him. If they can’t be civil and respect your views in your house then maybe they should be uninvited. Also do you have children? I’d be a little worried about exposing kids to such unkindness

madcatladyforever · 15/12/2019 06:53

Wow just wow.
They have brought up your parents and you and are the elders of your family and you are dumping them over political views.
I wouldn't come to your house. You don't deserve them.

Lellikelly26 · 15/12/2019 06:53

I find it frightening how intolerant many left wing voters are. Hypocrites

PooWillyBumBum · 15/12/2019 06:54

At first I thought you would be U, you’ve updated, I don’t think you would be. They sound horrible.

Marnie76 · 15/12/2019 06:55

RTFT people. OP has said, her grandparents WILL discuss politics etc. Even if they’re asked not to. They sound horrible people, nothing to do with voting.

Swirls1111 · 15/12/2019 06:58

@Lellikelly26
It’s the opposite of hypocrisy. Why would you want to force yourself upon people who oppose you both personally and politically?

Howlovely · 15/12/2019 07:00

@Mlou32
It would be a different story if they had done something awful to him personally, but because of political differences, he wants them banned from christmas. Just cruel and awfully intolerant

This has hit the nail on the head. The 'I'm alright Jack' mentality. Don't you get it that the OP and her husband DO take it personally when her grandparents start sneering at less fortunate people. Really, who are the cruel and awfully intolerant ones here?!

DeathStare · 15/12/2019 07:00

They have brought up your parents and you and are the elders of your family and you are dumping them over political views

@madcatladyforever Her parents are already no contact with them. Her sister can't stand them. Not because of their political views but because they insist on forcing those political views down everyone's throats in horrible, nasty, judgemental ways which make other people feel incredibly uncomfortable, and continue to do so even when asked to stop.

Why should the OP's DH have to put up with that in his house on Christmas Day when nobody else in the family will?

TheFairyCaravan · 15/12/2019 07:00

I find it frightening how intolerant many left wing voters are. Hypocrites

FGS! RTFT!

Cam77 · 15/12/2019 07:00

“and she burst into fits of laughter that people would actually do an xmas dinner shop at Iceland, they dont live in the real world”

“They laughed at the locals doing a shoebox collection for needy families as in their words 'they shouldn't spend their money on drugs and feed their kids”

Why exactly do they even wish to celebrate Christmas given that they clearly have no Christian values whatsoever!?

LavenderHills · 15/12/2019 07:02

I'm with your husband on this, and mine agrees with me!

Having read all your posts, OP, your grandparents sound dreadful and I wouldn't want them anywhere near myself or my family.

Cam77 · 15/12/2019 07:03

Sounds like it’s not political differences, is it. They are just nasty people who won’t keep their nastiness to themselves. What box they happened to “X” are surely irrelevant in light of comments such as these:

“and she burst into fits of laughter that people would actually do an xmas dinner shop at Iceland, they dont live in the real world”

“They laughed at the locals doing a shoebox collection for needy families as in their words 'they shouldn't spend their money on drugs and feed their kids”

Myheadisamess31 · 15/12/2019 07:03

Your husband sounds vile and pathetic!!

Howlovely · 15/12/2019 07:03

@madcatladyforever
Wow just wow
They have brought up your parents and you and are the elders of your family and you are dumping them over political views.
I wouldn't come to your house. You don't deserve them

Yes and their own children and other grandchild want nothing to do with them. I agree that OP and her husband absolutely don't deserve to have their Christmas ruined by loud, goady, smug, obnoxious, sneering, intolerant bigots. Quick question- who do you think DOES deserve them?

redcarbluecar · 15/12/2019 07:03

I wouldn’t want to spend.social time with people who were likely to start spouting racist views and unlikely to curb them when asked, so can see your DH’s point of view if that’s what your guests are like. However as PP have said, you presumably knew this when you invited them. If the desire to uninvite is more of an emotional fall out from the election result, perhaps it’s a bit less reasonable. On balance though I think yanbu.

DeathStare · 15/12/2019 07:05

It would be a different story if they had done something awful to him personally, but because of political differences, he wants them banned from christmas. Just cruel and awfully intolerant

@Mlou32 read the full thread! These people don't vote quietly and keep their opinions to themselves. The OP has said they go on and on about their political views in particularly nasty ways - mocking, belittling and making fun of the homeless and people in poverty among other people. It creates a nasty, uncomfortable atmosphere and they refuse to stop even when asked. The rest of the family have gone NC or have fallen out with them over their behaviour and still they continue.

Why should the OP's DH have to put up with that in his home on Christmas Day?

YellWat · 15/12/2019 07:06

No one should spend Christmas with someone they don't want to. All this sense of obligation rubbish is ridiculous. Sounds to me like a lot of the people being critical of OP's DH have miserable Christmases seeing odious relatives. Then they come on MN to judge others so they can feel better about their own choices...

OP- do what makes you and DH happy. And learn the term 'OK boomer' for your GPs...

DeathStare · 15/12/2019 07:08

I find it frightening how intolerant many left wing voters are. Hypocrites

@Lellikelly26 so everyone should have to put up with someone in their home on Christmas Day who spouts nasty, offensive, judgemental bile and refuses to stop even when asked? Someone who makes other people feel so uncomfortable and awkward that it causes arguments and even for others to go NC, and still won't stop?
Not having your Christmas Day ruined by that makes you a hypocrite?

FenellaMaxwell · 15/12/2019 07:12

The politics thing is a red herring - they sound like thoroughly vile people - why should your DH have to put up with them when your parents and sister are all NC?

Mlou32 · 15/12/2019 07:14

@Howlovely how dare you talk to me in what is coming across as quite an aggressive manner. I bet you wouldn't speak to me like that face to face. I'll have you know I have no "I'm alright jack mentality" For your information (not that I need to justify myself to the likes of you) I actually do help out in the community for those less fortunate and I'm sure it's lot more than you do. However even if I did have such a mentality, it's got bigger all to do with you and certainly doesn't give you the right to speak down your nose to me.

I'm quite left leaning myself, I'm more SNP leaning, but if your attitude is indicative of the majority of the left, then it's no wonder people are turning away from it rapidly.

My point is that the OP clearly wants the grandparents over or she wouldn't have even asked peoples opinions in the first place, she would have just not invited them over. So for her DH to say no they aren't coming over, ban them, due to mainly political views, is cruel.