To refuse to read his Uni work

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DH has started at Uni, I completed postgraduate 10 years ago. He has worked as a lecturer in colleges but writing isn't his strength. He has spent a lot of time writing a 2500 word essay to be handed in on Monday. He asked me to have a look over it, I began to and then he said "is the grammar OK?" to which I replied "I'm not reading it all!". He took the laptop away and did that passive aggressive "it's fine, doesn't matter".

AIBU to refuse to read and effectively critique his work? In the past I have written stuff for him such as job applications etc. and I warned I wouldn't be his crutch whilst studying.

Of course I will support him, let him bounce ideas off me, find the right words for things etc. but am I being unreasonable to not read his work for him? I feel like it's an extension of wife work!

Glad you reconsidered. Proofreading is not cheating.

I read my dhs chartered submission. Why wouldn’t I, I’m good at writing.

If he’s got form for dumping stuff on you, then that’s a different thing. However, it’s totally normal to help each other out in this way and we do so regularly.

My mum, dad and brother proofread my much longer PhD. And I did for others. Just cos I like them and they like me?

Really unsupportive

I am glad you are going to look at it tomorrow, it's the kind thing to do.

Anyone else getting lots of Grammarly adverts on the site now?

It's kind of expected that all of us check each others work.
I thought that's how homes worked.

Me too Serin.

I have spent uncountable hours going over essays and papers and applications. DD1 vets everyone's CV annually.

YABU. It’s not like he’s asking you to write the essay is it? A bit of support when asked won’t go a miss

Lady Gawain and I always look over each other’s work and make constructive comments. It’s called a loving relationship!

Is there about to be a massive drip feed about how unsupportive he is as a partner? If not, yabu.

Do you want him to succeed? Then help if he has form for not being prepared then that's different

Wife work! ? Wtf. Calm down.

You told him up front that you wouldn't do his work for him and when he tried to get you to you said no. He gets snotty and now you are pressured into dong his work for him.

I am sorry he did this.
It is my firm belief that people who refuse to take no for an answer are at best unpleasant and at worst unsafe to be around.

I dont think you got it wrong, my dh wouldnt read my work. Im not particularly interested in his. Its okay to not be 100% perfect wife.
I imagine you were thinking this would set an expectation - 'wife will you read this?'
'Wife will you help me with this?'
'Wife blah blah blah'
You know your husband and i bet you said no because he's likely to take the mick and use you as a free, live in tutor.

I thought you were mean because i initially thought it was your son not your husband!
But if you want to go for it

Depends how bad it is in my opinion.. the odd "change this word" or "out this sentence at the end" I wouldn't mind but of his writing is so bad that you'd essentially he re-writing it is also be annoyed to be expected to do that every time he had an assignment to complete

Academic here. Actually I think YANBU mainly because over the years I have lost count of the number of male students and colleagues whose wives, girlfriends and often mums read and comment on their stuff. Very pleased to see a couple of posters here whose husbands and partners do but I've never known that IRL. Definitely wifework.

Well done OP. I do get that you don't want to be writing his stuff for him or feel used. Too often, behind every successful man is a woman working twice as hard. That said, you're a team. So give it a quick read through and a few pointers as to what he might work on. Point out any utter clangers you see.

I am doing a degree whilst retired. I have 2 degrees and a PG Dip already. My DH reads all my essays and corrects any typos or grammatical errors. He is my lucky talisman. Just read your DPs work and let him know of any errors. Surely it is not too much to ask.

I sent my assignments to several people to Proof read. YABU.

DH reads my essays for my MA. I am really grateful, I know it must be boring for him but he picks up all manner of inconsistencies/ spelling errors that I just wouldn't see.

How is he with deadlines? If he's throwing things at you at the last minute in a stressy fit, that's one thing. If you have a day or two to read things through, that's fine.

I dont think you got it wrong, my dh wouldnt read my work. Im not particularly interested in his. Its okay to not be 100% perfect wife.

^It is not about being the perfect wife. Just a supportive and kind human being.

'I completed postgraduate 10 years ago.

Smashing

So why won't you assist

Odd

In the time you have been on here you could have done it. V odd and mean.