Tell me your horror text Autocorrect stories please!

[Butterfly98]

Not a horror one but friend sent me a WhatsApp message earlier saying our Christmas tree is really nice as she saw it on DD's Instagram. I replied saying yours is really nice 'as well' but somehow the words 'as well' were changed to 'awful' and I didn't realise until I sent it! Was that the actual iPhone that autocorrected or WhatsApp? Anyway she has a good sense of humour and thought it was funny! Tell me your good and embarrassing autocorrects that you only noticed after you pressed 'send'!

I text a friend to see if she needed stuff for her stay in hospital .... it autocorrected to stud! .... she was having a hysterectomy!!

@GreenTulips 😂 she probably would have preferred a stud to stuff!

Mine autocorrected tosser to toaster. I.e. yes, he's a complete toaster! Not the worst one ever but came across as quite confusing!

In a report I emailed to Ofsted, autocorrect changed "I gave the children a snack." to "I gave the children a smack."

A friend in a group chat posted a photo of a lovely meal she'd had in a restaurant, I posted, "I'm jealous".
Except I didn't, my dumbarse autocorrect made me announce, "I'm Jesus".

@IHaveBrilloHair, it wasn't a picture of the Last Supper was it, by any chance?

In an email I was sending to a male colleague ..Davina will call you later turned into vagina will call later.

@Lindy2 a friend had something very similar when writing an observational report! It was meant to say 'I gave the child a light snack after story time' but was changed to smack!
@IHaveBrilloHair that reminds me of when my DS was about 7 and I was talking to him on the phone from work and told him Santa will only brings presents if he's good. He then texted me from DH's phone to ask and I good?' but was changed to 'am I GOD?!!'

My mum sent me a text telling me she wasn’t into “bonking on the internet” but that perhaps her and sdad might have to consider it

We were moving to a new flat and I texted my then boyfriend “I’m going to get the keys later - excited!!”

Except “keys” autocorrected to “jews”.

Not mine but on FB selling site someone posted a dog jumper 'probably shit Yorkshire terrier size'

My mum text do i want anything from Tesco I replied ' a large penis please' - was supposed to be LENOR!!!!

I have signed off more than one email with 'Kind retards'.

@Magpiefeather 😄 at 'going to get the jews later'

Im a childminder and replied to a parent asking how their child was saying hes in the buggy smoking , I actually meant snoring

Jews and a large penis 😂

I once messaged DC telling them to keep something in their vag (bag)

I've also been stuck in a Steve (queue!)

The Steve thing was a long time ago on a basic phone - no idea what the connection is with a queue

On similar lines, running late one day DH sent the following to his (female!) Boss... Meant for me

'running late, can you iron my uniform and make me a sandwich and tea in thermal cup'

Luckily she found the funny side.

'

I'm defecating instead of I'm defecting. Sent in a group chat to work colleagues. I went into a meeting and didn't notice for over an hour - plenty of time for the jokes to roll in.

It was only a month or so into my first job out of university. I was the only female on the team and it made me cringe for days.

Not really an autocorrect fail but I once sent this shopping list (something similar) to a fairly senior member of my dept:

I want:

• salad
• diet coke
• oranges
• frozen pizza
• your cock

I was responding to my bf who asked if there was anything I wanted for him to get me. Horrendous. My colleague was older than my dad! I thought I was going to get done for harassment.

This will out me to the person I sent it to the other day.

I was having all sorts of trouble with my Facebook account so I said 'Face was defeated' instead of Facebook was definitely. It was a bad day

Going to stay with my dad and he text a list of food they were getting in and wanted to know what stuff on the list. I replied "I like fuck". Ironically whenever I try to write fuck it always autocorrects to duck!

Once sent my mum a message about "slut sports". Sky sports it should have read

In case it's not clear I was supposed to say "I like duck". And while writing this post my phoned just changed duck to dick

Okey dokey to boss autocorrect to okay donkey

I used to have to type 'your account' quite lot when I was chasing payments from clients, and I'd had one or two instances of writing 'your acocunt' (which made me smile but wasn't that bad) until the fateful day I typed 'your account' but actually sent 'your a c*nt' which upset me as a) it's grammatically wrong and b) the client was, and probably thought I meant it.