Tell me your horror text Autocorrect stories please!

[Butterfly98]

Not a horror one but friend sent me a WhatsApp message earlier saying our Christmas tree is really nice as she saw it on DD's Instagram. I replied saying yours is really nice 'as well' but somehow the words 'as well' were changed to 'awful' and I didn't realise until I sent it! Was that the actual iPhone that autocorrected or WhatsApp? Anyway she has a good sense of humour and thought it was funny! Tell me your good and embarrassing autocorrects that you only noticed after you pressed 'send'!

My manager had asked to see me after my shift, but had got held up in a meeting. I didn't want to seem rude just leaving, so I sent a text saying "sorry wasn't trying to fuck you, had to dash off to pick up the kids, can we try again tomorrow?"

Duck my life 😂

What do you want on your pancakes? Male strippers?

Maple syrup.

I was unwell and asked my mum if she could pick up my children toady.
Thankfully she saw the funny side. Today!

I was having text banter with a mate and called him a cheeky bugger, bigger was changed to a racist word starting with n! I have never typed that word ever. He is black 😱 I wanted to chop of my hands and have the ground swallow me!

In a group chat I said how I cba cooking food so I was just having supermodels for dinner. I meant supernoodles, but my phone kept constantly changing it.

This is an actual real life misunderstanding.
First time I'd met a guy after chatting for ages, we were talking away, getting on great and then he said, "I love your titties", I was quite horrified that he'd say that, and also use the word titties, then I realised he'd said tattoos...
Still going strong, 14yrs later

Told my old boss I would sext him when I was sorted instead of text him 🤦🏼‍♀️

Home after c-section and hubby insisted I order online grocery delivery for when he was home. He was sat in a boardroom meeting and saw my message pop up “I have ordered your assassination for 6-8pm, if that doesn’t suit then I can change it to any other 2 hrs slot that does”. I didn’t even notice and he was an hour in the meeting before he cld get out to respond 😂😂😂. Asda delivery autocorrected to assassination 😂😂😂

😂 wahahahah

Dp had text to ask what was for dinner. My reply "slag bol"

I've just remembered another.
Had a new phone and was trying to send a picture of ds2 (about 4 months old) with a caption saying "hello daddy" to his dad.
Picture just disappeared.
10 seconds later I get a text saying "whose this?"
Open the message to find my picture of ds2 that ide just sent to the first contact in my address book who happened to be a man ide gone on a couple of dates with and hadn't seen in about a year.

Thankfully he had a good sense of humour once ide explained my error and ensured him he was NOT the daddy.

I'm friends with SDs Mum. Luckily, because it meant she saw the funny side when I text to let her know "I'm coking up with SD in about 5-10 mins"

Coming up. We were coming up.

Son wrote “count” in his piano music in his big untidy handwriting.

Except he’s dyslexic so he forgot the O.

@kasmac 😂 at assassination! At least he would have had time to dodge the bullet literally, you were very polite to inform him in advance!!

@Iwantacookie that's hilarious! I'm imagining the shock he would have got thinking he was suddenly the father of a 4 month old! He must have been thinking about any o.n.s he had etc!

My old phone decided to be helpful far too often, I was in the shops asking my wife if we needed anything in particular. She said no so I texted back "OK, see you in a mo"

But the phone autocorrected it to "See you in a month".

Also this one is actually my fault, I got a message about my nephews doing well at sports day and texted "What a bunch of heroes"....only I types "herpes". Luckily I noticed that one before I clicked send.

DS1 (16 then) was quite excited about his first car - a ute. I was at baseball game with DS2 and one of his teammates older brother was there who is friends with DS1. I was telling him about new car then sent the following text to DS1 : Hey send my some photos so I can show (friend) your new uterus.

Still autocorrects ute to uterus. Definitely not Aussie friendly 🤷🏼‍♀️

Could have been Volvo to vulva

Haha true. Although a vulva would be far easier to photograph.

Told my mum through text I was having a condor moment . came out as
I'm having a condom moment

Writing a press release for a client and "hard-won victory" became "hard-on victory."

It was the national timber association so the "getting wood" jokes were endless.

^^ that reminds me of a typo, not autocorrect. It was of an report about a grievance meeting with a colleague. I wrote that (male) colleague "complained he had difficulty getting hard" (was supposed to be 'heard')

Typo last night.

Meant to say: just jumping in shower, so won't reply straight away

Ended up with: just humping in shower so won't reply straight away

These are funny!
I texted my sister once 'I saw you on your bike earlier, I recognised your PANTIES'
It was supposed to say panniers 😳

How we laughed 😬

I accidentally sent a cringe text to my Mum today! I was doing the weekly shop and sent this 'Aldi are doing cock in the bag bacon joints' obviously 'cook'!!