Tell me your horror text Autocorrect stories please!

[Butterfly98]

Not a horror one but friend sent me a WhatsApp message earlier saying our Christmas tree is really nice as she saw it on DD's Instagram. I replied saying yours is really nice 'as well' but somehow the words 'as well' were changed to 'awful' and I didn't realise until I sent it! Was that the actual iPhone that autocorrected or WhatsApp? Anyway she has a good sense of humour and thought it was funny! Tell me your good and embarrassing autocorrects that you only noticed after you pressed 'send'!

I once told a friend during the pouring rain that we would have to 'get out our willies'.

To this day, it is a promise that I cannot fulfill.

... Also, when I texted my friend to say I was 'full of Luigi' (instead of 'Full of Lurgy') she thought she'd had a detailed insight into my love life.

I’ve typed it wrongly so often at work that I think my P.C. recognises it as a real word
Disocunt instead of discount

I have to be careful when preparing documents in work as very often County Court will come out as Cunty Court. A Secretary many years ago prepared a set of pleadings referring to bollocks instead of bullocks - the court staff called us to ask us to redraft before they went before a District Judge.....
And my all time favourite was a senior member of HR emailing over 2000 staff members to say that the toilets at one office were out of order, we could use another company's facilities, and that she hoped it didn't cause us to much incontinence (instead of inconvenience). You could hear the email ping into everyones inbox over the space of a few seconds and then the laughing start from one side of the office to the other. She never lived that down!

I have to recheck my messages very carefully because my phone hates me. It changes the word 'just' to 'Jihad' and 'terrific' to 'terrorist'.

At work typing up a report of an inspection I had made: The restaurant was shit" (I meant to say shut!)

I went through a phase of texting “down/ there/ coming in a sex” instead of sec. Always to colleagues/ parents/ people I had a professional relationship with. Awkward. Now I just type second to be safe.

Also kick you in the crotch became lick you in the crotch.

The jihad terrorist made me laugh. An old phone of mine was certain I frequently meant to be texting about Mugabe, current phone is certain that when I type "think" what I really mean to say is "rhino". Of course. Makes perfect sense.

I sent 'I will massage you' instead of 'message you' to my boss.
He didn't comment on my faux pas.

Back in the days of Nokia 3210 when you had to use some sort of prototype predictive text (T9 dictionary?) using the number keys on your mobile - I remember some bloke tentatively asking a girl they had met whether they wanted to go for a meal at their local pub, The Crown.

Except unfortunately for him, instead of "fancy getting food in the crown?" it came out "fancy getting done in the brown?"...

I was organising an outing in a group chat and went to report that one of our friends had cancelled. Except the phone changed cancelled to "cancer".

I was in the supermarket and thought I ought to send my husband a quick text telling him I had got the wine, instead of sending “I have wine” autocorrect changed it to “I have wind” I had no idea until DH text back “well that’s definitely too much info”

I was looking for a new puppy and wanted a girl which is a bitch.
I text the breeder and asked if she had a bitch. It changed it to have you got a butt hole .

Unfortunately you can't crap outside the building (should have been park)

Did I leave that bag of penis in your car? (should have been pens)

No, I haven't been, I think it's Jewish (referring to a restaurant that was new-ish)

Dear Gregarious (to someone called Gregory)

Worst was my own brain autocorrecting and instead of finishing a phone call to a Very Important Academic like a normal, professional person, I ended by saying 'love you, bye'.

The primary school my dd used to go to sent a text out about a school trip reminding parents 'not to forget to send the children to school with their willies' - should have been wellies

I love 'I'm watching you' and 'have you got a butt hole' 🤣🤣

I remember when some people used to think lol meant 'lots of love' queue lots of inappropriate 'lols' at people's misfortune. 'Sorry your Mum has passed away lol'

My mum used to use text speak and would text me 'cum' instead of come

A friend used to live in a caravan and he filled up his water bottles at my house. "Are you in?" he texted one morning. "Need to come and sick up some water."

“Do you fancy getting done in the brown?”

I think my lungs are going to collapse

My friends brother has an Irish name that autocorrects and I found out when I emailed her...
“When’s paedophile coming for dinner ?”

I asked my friends over for Pimps in the Garden.

Pimm's, obviously.

They still rib me about the pimps in my garden.

I almost had one last night when I was texting my 13 year old. She was saying how she thought she was about to have her period and I texted back 'I've just come on too' except it autocorrected to 'I've just come on top' luckily I spotted it before I sent it

I tried to tell my friend that I'd bought 6 gorgeous white plates in John Lewis. However, autocorrect feels it more likely that JL sold me 6 gorgeous white slaves....

I once texted I was having chicken scrotum for dinner. Was meant to be chicken risotto!