To think this is selfish (nativity)

[LolaDabestest]

My child's nativity today, 2 showings morning and afternoon. My daughter had a decent part with lines...not showing off they started school as a shy quiet child so massive step for her and I wanted to get her part on my phone. Anyway got there 15 minutes early I'm never one of the saddos that arrives early to hog the front row I always just slink to the back.
Bare in mind I was 15 minutes early front row was filled and ended up having to slink to the back.
I looked along the front row and there was literally about 4 parents the rest were obviously extended family bit peeved but hey they obviously got there mega early I don't got time for that shit.

I had to stand at the back zooming in to get a vid of my child which was annoying but hey ho. Anyway my aibu is I later found out that the parents at the front mum, dad, two sets of grandparents had been to both the showings (4 hours apart) and took up half the front row in both shows!! Their child didn't have a speaking part(), it's really pissed me off tbh as they should have at least let other parents have a chance at being at the front to get some decent pics etc. And the fact that it was half their family as well.

Anyway I know I sound precious but without going into things this was a massive moment for my child and it would have been nice to actually have had a decent view and come away with a nice vid of her part.

I mentioned the speaking part as that could have explained the "hogging" i suppose.

Our nativity was today at 9.30 parents waited in front hall until 9.25 when they were allowed down to main hall....hardly any left when the door opened for the start of school at 8.40 which I thought was a bit extreme!!

My son’s school caps it to two tickets per child but I’m one of the saddos who turned up half hour early to get a good seat

Guess it saved me wasting half an hour of posting on here later because I didn’t get a good seat....

I watched my daughters nativity twice and sat at the front both times 🤷🏻‍♀️
Really shocked that school allow people to video though. Phones are completely banned from the premises at my daughters school, and rightly so.

I dont get you term "hogging". They got their early, they got the seats. Was everyone else in the hall hogging? It could be argued you were hogging the back row, as lots of people would have reasons to sit at the back...I always wanted a back row seat as I either had a toddler with me or wanted to be able to stand up to film, or wanted a quick exit.

For the nativity our school limits it to 2 tickets. So either one ticket for each showing or two tickets morning or two tickets afternoon. However weirdly for the Santa visit they allowed anyone to volunteer to go along including wider family. I missed out on helping out with the trip where as some children had a parent and a nan/grandad etc. I was so annoyed.

Nativitygate

I agree that sitting at the front for both performances was a little selfish, but there's no way you'd get a seat in the front row at any school performance by arriving 15 minutes before the start. Maybe the grandparents/ extended family aren't able to visit very frequently and were getting their money's worth. At least you'll know for next time to arrange to arrive earlier.

Our school allows videos. What they do is sell tickets though, strictly rationed. You can only attend one performance. Suggest that to the school perhaps.

@Janaih My school allows videos to be taken. My daughter's showing was today and the Head said "When taking videos, which is fine if course, we just ask that you do not upload to any social media. Thankyou"

YABU. A bit annoying but you could have got there earlier yourself.

Saying that my mum and granny were the type of people who would get to our school plays early to sit near the front. So cringe as I hated it. They didn’t need to sit at the front.

I am so glad DS’s school do numbered seats. You buy the tickets and they give you a seat number. The earlier you buy tickets the closer to the front you will be. But I never want to sit right at the front!

But we weren’t allowed to take any photos or videos at all!

Same things were happening in our school and school sent an email out to ask for it to stop and it seemed to have made things a bit easier

Mmm I'd never go to the extreme of getting there mega early never have...so yes it's my fault it was just the point that if they hadn't done that there would have been more options for parents that hadn't seen it yet.

This is why my kids school have made a few changes over the years to make it fairer on parents. They've split the school into two (nursey - year 2 and year 3 to year 6) so there's two separate concerts. They alternate the two groups where one of the concerts will be held in the church, only one showing, plenty of seats, upstairs seating so everyone can see and the other held in the school, two showings and only 2 tickets will be sold per family allowed so you can't bring half of your relatives with you. You'll sometimes see mum and grandmother go to the afternoon showing and dad and grandad will go to the evening one. It works out bloody great. You of course still get the usual parents who arrive 30-40 minutes early to get the best seats but there's always enough seats for everyone. Bit YANBU for thinking its selfish for the exact same family to sit right up front for both showings.

Also our school asks parents only to use 2 space per child

YANBU

I'm a performing arts teacher and it drives me mad seeing the same parents take the front row as had it the night before. I have no issue with any party of any size with a child in any role at all sitting at the front on one night. But to then not realise that others might want it the next night is, imo, appallingly selfish. But I've never dared say that to a parent of course!

It's the same with reservations. A show I did a couple of weeks ago we had two reservations for parents who were helping us part way through the show so needed to be by the stage and one who had a wheelchair user in their party. Only problem was, I was then preparing to reserve approx 9 seats between the three of them and they said they were bringing 6,4 and 5 people respectively and wanted front row seats for all of them. Impossible. I ended up sitting them in olbongs of two starting at the front row and heading back. They didn't complain (to my face!)

One dad this week came to a nativity performance 1.75 hour early to get a front row seat!

Another dad a few years ago managed to bypass the fact that we had cable tied all the hall doors shut until 20 mins before the show started by coming in through the stage door and crawling underneath the stage (journey of about 10 metres under a stage only about 1.5 feet high with a huge amount of wires, dust and rubbish under it) to get to the auditorium. I was pissed off but couldn't help admiring the lengths he'd gone to - almost deserving on the front row seats.

We're considering auctioning the front row for charity for our biggest show this year but i don't want it to be a case of 'richest parent gets the front row' even if it is for a good cause. Another idea is to sell raffle tickets for a front row seat draw.

The French President planned to ban mobile phones from schools- no idea whether this has happened. Perhaps we should start with filming of children's nativity plays, across the board, all schools.

I think you are confusing completely different issues

Of course we shouldn't ban filming, in most school it works very well without any drama.

One dad this week came to a nativity performance 1.75 hour early to get a front row seat!

wow, if someone is that committed he deserves a front row! As long as he doesn't reserve more than 2 seats obviously

Anyway got there 15 minutes early I'm never one of the saddos that arrives early
Well aren't you lovely.

go earlier next time.

So one family had 6 people to both showings? I really find that hard to believe. Slight exaggeration perhaps.
How did you find out the exact same family members attended the showing?
What did the school say when you complained?

In our school, people ask those in the front row to take plenty of photos and videos, and then we'll give our email address to have the ones of our child sent to us. If you sit in the front, you'd better be prepared to put the work in.

Yes they were unreasonable to take up half the front row twice.
Yes you are unreasonable to complain that you were not early enough to get a front row spot.

Surely they only ask people they know to do this @Fink. If some random person asked me to do that for them, it would be a no.

At our school the whole front row is always reserved for governors and staff. Not ok.