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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think this is selfish (nativity)

252 replies

LolaDabestest · 12/12/2019 19:19

My child's nativity today, 2 showings morning and afternoon. My daughter had a decent part with lines...not showing off they started school as a shy quiet child so massive step for her and I wanted to get her part on my phone. Anyway got there 15 minutes early I'm never one of the saddos that arrives early to hog the front row I always just slink to the back.
Bare in mind I was 15 minutes early front row was filled and ended up having to slink to the back.
I looked along the front row and there was literally about 4 parents the rest were obviously extended family bit peeved but hey they obviously got there mega early I don't got time for that shit.

I had to stand at the back zooming in to get a vid of my child which was annoying but hey ho. Anyway my aibu is I later found out that the parents at the front mum, dad, two sets of grandparents had been to both the showings (4 hours apart) and took up half the front row in both shows!! Their child didn't have a speaking part(), it's really pissed me off tbh as they should have at least let other parents have a chance at being at the front to get some decent pics etc. And the fact that it was half their family as well.

Anyway I know I sound precious but without going into things this was a massive moment for my child and it would have been nice to actually have had a decent view and come away with a nice vid of her part.

OP posts:
Aroundtheworldin80moves · 12/12/2019 19:59

At DDs it was 2 tickets per family per performance. No filming allowed as they wanted the parents to watch the kids rather than their screens.

This meant that DH couldn't see the play- but he's had a full report. Grandparents went to the evening performance as I was at work.

Election2019 · 12/12/2019 19:59

My child didn’t have a speaking part but she was brave enough to get up onto the stage this year and that in itself was something I was proud of her about.

At DD’s school you are only allowed two adults per showing and I think the family at your daughter’s school was selfish for going twice and taking up the best seats. However, I do think you need to get to these shows earlier than 15 mins beforehand.

BringBiscuits · 12/12/2019 20:00

I can see why you would find it a bit annoying if they’ve been to both. Some kids never get the speaking part though and that’s not their fault (or their parents).

I don’t think this is quite as bad as the mum at our school who reserved the first row for her, her husband, her two kids and her in laws. How was she able to do that? Cos she’s staff at the school! Her dd always gets the biggest and best role and they were the only people able to reserve seats. Now that is unreasonable!

Original poster
LolaDabestest · 12/12/2019 20:01

Obviously I know their parents? It was 2 sets of grandparents. And I know mentioning the speaking part would piss people off but as I said it was a first for me. I wouldn't have mentioned it if they'd sat there for the one showing speaking part or not but the fact that it was for both seemed a bit pointless.

OP posts:
bridgetreilly · 12/12/2019 20:01

I'm really surprised people were allowed to go twice. At most schools they're struggling to fit everyone in and so there are strictly limited tickets and for one performance only.

Yes, they were selfish, but OP, it's really not that big a deal.

slashlover · 12/12/2019 20:02

How do you know they were at both shows? If another parent told you then surely they must also have been to both shows and taken up seats at both?

hifolks · 12/12/2019 20:02

try to think " What would baby Jesus do?"

TabbyMumz · 12/12/2019 20:03

"What mad fuckers want to watch a nativity twice?!"
Those that don't want their child upset all the way through because no one was there watching them?

Halo1234 · 12/12/2019 20:03

Hmmm it's a bit thoughtless of them. But dont agree with u about extended family. Grandparents and aunties can be extremely close to the child and have every right to be there and if they are early have the front row. In some families they may be just as close to the child as the parents (watching them every day for childcare) so that parent wont bother me. But agree taking up the front row twice is a bit inconsiderate but wont bother me that much. Regardless of the speaking part seeing their little one on stage would have ment a lot to them. Maybe the child would be more settled if they could see them or something. Can see your point but dont think it's that big a deal.

Halo1234 · 12/12/2019 20:05

Sorry grandparents and aunties and uncles I should have said.

Thoughtlessinengland · 12/12/2019 20:05

Oh the things people get flustered about! Mine has been downgraded from a shepherd to a goat this year with zero words 😂😂😂😂😂 and I cant stop giggling to myself about his goat costume! Doesn’t matter one bit where who sits on the day!

TabbyMumz · 12/12/2019 20:07

You said "I looked along the front row and there was literally about 4 parents the rest were obviously extended family"
So you knew some of them, but not all. The ones you dont know could also be parents. I didnt do school pick up much, so I'm sure lots of parents didnt know me when I turned up for school plays either.

andpancakesforbreakfast · 12/12/2019 20:07

No school lets parents video in this day and age.
of course some do.

YANBU OP, it is ridiculous to take front row seats on more than 1 show. Fair enough to arrive early though.

Ask the school to start giving limited tickets to families - it would stop them going to several shows and would give a chance to all parents. Not much else you can do.

People ARE selfish and inconsiderate.

Also fair enough to be proud of your kids, as you should be, but is' a school play.. nothing to be "braggy" about

CottonSock · 12/12/2019 20:09

Our school is 2 tickets per child. No photos or videos, thankfully

TabbyMumz · 12/12/2019 20:11

"but as I said it was a first for me."
Some people never get this "first"". My kids never got a speaking part. You were extremely lucky your child got one, but that doesnt give you the additional right to sit at the front...especially if you took a toddler!!

HamsterInSpecs · 12/12/2019 20:11

I would have parked my arse on the ‘saved’ seats.

Wheresthebiffer2 · 12/12/2019 20:11

Make a suggestion to the school - through the PTA or parent council that ticketing might be a solution.

namina · 12/12/2019 20:16

YANBU they are definitely selfish 😡

Jux · 12/12/2019 20:16

I stopped trying to vid my child as the school did it much better from much better angles. They charged a fortune for the cds thouh, so I didn't get many.

I think it's the school's fault. They should limit tickets per child one performance only etc.

TuppenceDarling · 12/12/2019 20:16

Our school allows photos and videos ... which means every year some numpty brings a whacking great I pad and holds it up blocking a whole row’s view. I don’t care tho, I’m on Valium.

TabbyMumz · 12/12/2019 20:17

"Parents only the front half, regardless of role. Everyone else whose childrearing days are over, to the back."
So for the children whose parents cant go, or are looked after by grandparents or carers, their family are at the back! That's not fair at all.

UndertheCedartree · 12/12/2019 20:19

At our school every class does their own play so always plenty of room to sit. No videoing or photos are allowed during the performance but the children come up in groups at the end so you can come up to the front and take a photo. Then you can buy a DVD of the performance if you wish.

Littlecaf · 12/12/2019 20:24

Janaih ours does. So does ever other school I know.

YANBU regarding the family who took up the front row in both performances. Having a speaking part is neither here nor there.

I had the same. Got there 15mins early and it was full already. Sigh!

TabbyMumz · 12/12/2019 20:26

Our school allowed videoing and photographs. Last year I noticed a teacher filming it too, but he focussed on the two main parts and seemed to ignore all the children in smaller parts or in the choir. They didnt advertise the potential to buy copies, but even if they had I wouldnt have bought one as my child wouldn't gave been in it.

ForalltheSaints · 12/12/2019 20:26

The French President planned to ban mobile phones from schools- no idea whether this has happened. Perhaps we should start with filming of children's nativity plays, across the board, all schools.

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