To be looking forward to my free unicorns when labour get into power

[Thegrinch2019]

I’m very excited about my unicorns come Friday that will be arriving on Friday when labour get into power. I just need a big enough garden for it but I’m hoping Labour will give that to me too along with my free broadband and everything else they have promised!!

Is free education and healthcare seen as particularly extreme?

You'd think so. I mean how fucking dare people want an education for their children and a health service that at the very least can provide basic equipment like ... oh, I dont know ... beds!?

Don't worry, come Friday the unicorns will be too busy working zero hour contracts in low paid jobs bulking up their unicorn food at food banks while their unicorn children attend poorly funded schools. They will be praying they don't succumb to Winter illnesses that land them in the overcrowded underfunded unicorn hospital waiting for hours to see the fraught, overworked unicorn doctor.

Thing is, at least we know the Labour party won't form a majority, so I don't particularly care if there are unicorns in their manifesto.

The Conservatives may very well win and their pinning all their promises on their unicorn Brexit deal not ranking the economy.

I don't like Corbyn but I'm voting Labour this time because anything or anyone is better than Johnson and his crew.

I think we all know that Corbyn can't fulfill all the ridiculous promises he's made any more than Johnson can fulfill all the ridiculous promises he's made e.g. the 50 trillion new hospitals and 90 trillion nurses who he knows were going to leave but apparently now knows won't once he's persuaded them not too with his wonderful new 'schemes'.

Most promises made during elections (and during Brexit campaigns) are lies.

Everyone knows Johnson has complete contempt for the average voter, everyone knows he's an utter shit and a liar, still doesn't stop him getting elected though.

Unfortunately, Johnson will get re-elected because for some unfathomable reason people seem to find him so lovable and apparently he makes a lot of people 'laugh'.

Don't know about unicorns when Corbyn gets in but I shall want to sit and weep when Johnson gets back in.

I’m furious with Corbyn and his fecking unicorns. If he wanted to guarantee a Tory majority couldn’t have handled it better. You can’t get a elected without winning the support of swing voters. Not only has he failed to win them over he’s actually dropped a shed load of Labour votes.

Better than the free lorryload of shit on offer from the Conservatives.

Don't give up the day job, OP. Unless you're a comedian. If that's the case then do give it up, because this was about as funny as an explosive case of diarrhea.

@JeffreeStar Considering you're named for a huge racist and horrible disgrace of a human I'm not surprised you side with the punish the poor and disabled party.

@Breathlessness

I’m furious with Corbyn and his fecking unicorns. If he wanted to guarantee a Tory majority couldn’t have handled it better. You can’t get a elected without winning the support of swing voters. Not only has he failed to win them over he’s actually dropped a shed load of Labour votes.

This. ^

TorysSuckRevokeArticle50 you forgot the 350m per week for the NHS which has been proven and widely accepted to be a big fat lie. And yet I get a telling off on here for mentioning it. It's boring apparently.
Johnson is Teflon. He can do what the hell he likes and people shake their heads but then forget about it. And yet if Jeremy corbyn looks at someone funny he's suddenly the devil incarnate.

Oh fuck off at least they’re trying to save the NHS & actually give a shit about caring about starving people.

I'm looking forward to my free owl

(I'm fully a Labour supporter and member, this was just probably my favourite tweet of all time. They went with it too!)

Oh do get a grip OP.. yawn

I need a free bot. Will it hoover my stairs though?

You must need some bake off pizza OP

https://m.facebook.com/story.php?storyfbid=2656861074392195&id=330250343871&notifft=livevideo&notiffid=1576080974777358&ref=m_notif

All this stuff is tremendously funny - the unicorns, the rainbows, the 'magic grandad' stuff, really really funny

Tell you what's not funny..

Boris Johnson and Dominic Cummings running the country

I cant wait for our nationalised sausages, hopefully made with real salty Tory tears to make it that bit tastier

Tbh labour supporters should be directing their anger at the real person responsible for the Tories most likely getting back in. And that’s Corbyn. If I was a labour voter I would be absolutely furious with someone who has failed to capitalise on the failings of the Tories over the last few years. I’m voting Tory but recognise that they have failed on various issues, and would have expected the leader of the main opposition party to step up to the plate and wipe the floor with them. Corbyn has been like a bystander and only came to life when the GE was announced - too little too late. If the Tories get into power with a large majority, as seems likely, the fault does not lie at the door of Tory supporters or Boris himself but at the feet of the totally incompetent and inadequate Corbyn. It really is an absolute disgrace at how he has brought his party to its knees.

I'm going to buy ds1 a car with our savings of £6,700 in 2021, a £6,700 holiday to Australia in 2022, a hot tub in 2023?

I am in the "anyone but Tory camp" and I will be personally amazed if Labour wins by a landslide. Because that is what they need to implement their manifesto. It's more likely we will get a hung Parliament or a Tory minority, so continuation of the current shit by other means.

I am wondering if Johnson will declare Brexit done by Revoking, then claiming we had made Europe back down. After his campaign antics, anything is possible. It's certainly not possible for him to achieve his Brexit plan within the promised timetable.

An independent fact checker has found that 0% of Labour’s adverts contained misleading claims - £6,700 for every family!!

I'm so embarrassed imagining you chuckling to yourself as you type about magic unicorns. Must be nice to only care about yourself, couldn't be me though.

Ok Torybot 👍🏻

Is anyone else hoping that we all wake up to find Bobby isn’t dead, he’s in the shower and it’s actually 1997 and everything is lovely?