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AIBU?

To display Christmas cards from relatives who have died

112 replies

pipnchops · 11/12/2019 08:24

I have 3 Christmas cards I always put up every year from people who have died. My mum saw them the other day and thinks it's strange. How this came about is every year I get out the pervious years Christmas cards and go through them to make a list of who to send cards to this year. Then I recycle the cards but I can never bring myself to throw away the card if that person has died so I display it and it reminds me of them over the Christmas period.
Is this strange?

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Am I being unreasonable?

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Northernsoullover · 11/12/2019 08:27

What a lovely idea. I don't have any Christmas cards left but I have some birthday cards from my nan. I think I'll put one up next year.

Sparklesocks · 11/12/2019 08:27

It might be slightly unconventional but i think if it brings you comfort then it’s absolutely fine. It’s not harming anyone.

Hangingofftheboob · 11/12/2019 08:28

Yeah sorry it’s a bit weird.

BooksAreMyOnlyFriends · 11/12/2019 08:29

If it brings you comfort, then it's perfectly fine

Babdoc · 11/12/2019 08:30

That’s a lovely tradition OP. Rather like the toast to “Absent Friends” at the Christmas meal, it’s a way of remembering loved ones at a family occasion.
It doesn’t matter who thinks it’s weird - it feels right for you, and brings you comfort.

Dreamersandwishers · 11/12/2019 08:30

Pipnchops, if you get pleasure/ comfort from being reminded of these people that’s fine and go right ahead. It’s good that they bring back nice memories.

I would just ask, kindly I hope, whether the cards make you feel melancholy and whether the grief is still raw for you?
In which case it may be a tad unhealthy.

Lofari · 11/12/2019 08:31

Not something I've thought of before but what a lovely idea. A nod to those no longer with us x

EskewedBeef · 11/12/2019 08:32

It's entirely up to you, but is an unusual thing to do I think, and may be difficult for other people who loved the deceased to see on display.

jamdhanihash · 11/12/2019 08:32

First knee jerk reaction was 'weird' but on reflection I think it's lovely, and I wish I could do the same to remember my dead relatives. Great idea.

Magnificentbeast · 11/12/2019 08:33

Lovely idea.

pipnchops · 11/12/2019 08:34

Dreamer, overall the cards make me smile and remember the people. Obviously I'm sad I can't see them anymore but I kind of feel their presence when I look at the cards and that feels good.

OP posts:

Clangus00 · 11/12/2019 08:35

I think it’s strange....but can fully understand why you would.

beethecrackon24995 · 11/12/2019 08:35

Nice one op. I think that's a great idea. You may well have just passed that idea onto others !

runwithme · 11/12/2019 08:37

It's a lovely idea. Wish I had cards from my dad and brother, I would definitely do that if I did. It's no different from seeing photos of your loved ones. It's your home, it brings you comfort so keep on doing it.

ShinyGiratina · 11/12/2019 08:37

I used to do that with my cards from my dad after he died when I was a child. I still made cards for him too.

It gave me a lot of comfort and filled a bit of the gaping hole of grief.

Mulledwineinajug · 11/12/2019 08:39

I think it’s lovely. If I still had a card from my best friend I’d display it.

BlouseAndSkirt · 11/12/2019 08:44

Strange but that doesn’t mean bad.

If it means something to you, it is a lovely thing to do and whether it is ‘usual ‘, or what others think is irrelevant.

I can understand you not wanting to throw them away... so why not display them?

PineappleDanish · 11/12/2019 08:50

It's a bit weird yes, but it's also not a big deal in terms of "weird stuff people do at Christmas".

MsPavlichenko · 11/12/2019 08:51

My worry would be if someone read it, and was shocked/distressed if they're not expecting to see the name/names. If that's not a possibility that's different although I wouldn't do it myself as I'd find it more upsetting to have the cards than not.

LeosMamma · 11/12/2019 08:51

That's really lovely; and, in fact, I might do that, too!

NannySusan · 11/12/2019 08:55

My Mam did this when we were growing up. Christmas Cards were part of the decorations and particularly nice cards or cards from people who had died were brought out for years after they were first received.
I never thought of it as unusual, I suppose you don't question what is normal in childhood.

FlamingGoat · 11/12/2019 08:57

My Mum died suddenly last year and I did this for my birthday and Christmas and will do it again this year. It gives me comfort to see her writing.

ArcheryAnnie · 11/12/2019 08:57

I think it's a lovely idea. I might do that, too.

midep · 11/12/2019 09:00

I've just opened my Christmas card box, I always keep last years cards to check spellings and names. On top are three cards that will go up first, the last three cards that my best friend sent before she died. She had quirky taste and I love her cards, makes me smile and feel a bit sad, but she's still part of my Christmas and always will be.

Are we a club of 2 OP?

Happyandglorious · 11/12/2019 09:01

I think its lovely.

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