To display Christmas cards from relatives who have died

[pipnchops]

I have 3 Christmas cards I always put up every year from people who have died. My mum saw them the other day and thinks it's strange. How this came about is every year I get out the pervious years Christmas cards and go through them to make a list of who to send cards to this year. Then I recycle the cards but I can never bring myself to throw away the card if that person has died so I display it and it reminds me of them over the Christmas period.
Is this strange?

[Chesntoots]

I don't display mine but keep the last card I receive from people for my birthday and Christmas.

If they survive another year, the old one gets binned! (Lost so many people over the last few years and have developed an odd sense of humour...)

I look at them occasionally and they make me a bit sad, but mostly make me smile.

Like a pp, my family considered them decorations too. I won't be doing that though.

[Spied]

Lovely idea.
I'm going to hunt one out from my Grandparents.

[MaisyMary77]

My DM died in May last year. In December I was clearing out my wardrobe and found a rather nice British museum bag. There was an unopened card inside-from my mum. I must’ve missed it from a previous Christmas. I displayed it and will display it again this Christmas. I don’t care if anyone thinks it’s strange.

[ForalltheSaints]

Seems unusual, I have photos of loved ones who have died, such as my dad.

Though if the OP finds it cathartic, why not.

[Blondeshavemorefun]

@BeeN77 - I am the same. We go out for drinks for my dead dh birthday with friends. Talk and laugh about him x

[SadieContrary]

My DGM has beautiful writing and I loved her signature.
It was my responsibility to sort her estate so when I closed her bank accounts I kept her bank card and placed it rear facing into the clear pocket on the inside of my wallet. Means I see her signature daily (7years on) and it brings me a wee smile.
No one really knows it's there but I do

[HeronLanyon]

I think it’s lovely. I’m struggling to understand why anyone would think it is weird. ?
My mum died recently and she had the morning she died written out my birthday card. I will bloody well haul it out on my birthday as a memory and don’t care or understand why someone would even think twice about me doing so ! Might be at some point in the future it won’t be something I do but I think it’s kind of respectful and thoughtful.

[stairway]

That’s lovely, remember the only thing that separates you is time. I’ll have a look now for a Xmas card from my late grandma.

[BeeN77]

Expressions of grief or remembrance are personal. You should do what makes you feel as though you are remembering someone who was a part of your life.

Every year, I celebrate the birthday of a loved one who passed (I chose to their birthday as opposed to the day that they passed, because I want to remember them alive). People think (and have said it up-teem times) it's morbid and yet, it is the one day a year, where I purposively remember our times together and celebrate that I got that time, that they had an impact and that they are remembered. It doesn't hurt anyone, so people's opinions are not relevant.

[Blondeshavemorefun]

I think it’s a lovely thing to do and brings you comfort as well as happy memories

A bit like photos

I have kept all of my dead dh cards he sent Me in our nearly 20yrs together. Anniversary. Valentine. Birthday etc

All up in the loft. I can’t throw them away :(

[LoseLooseLucy]

Love that SistersOfPercy 👍

I've had a Christmas card for over 30 years from a friend who died aged 7, laminated, and I put it out at Christmas.

[cakeandchampagne]

I think it’s a lovely idea.

[MsMellivora]

SistersofPercy

Thank you for sharing, that’s so beautiful. I’m ill in bed currently and having a real moment over such a touching story.

[MsMellivora]

I think it’s lovely.

MIL still puts out a birthday card to each of her parents on their respective birthdays and they have been dead for thirty years. It’s her own way to remember them.

[DorothyParkersCat]

Not unreasonable at all.

I have an elderly relative who does this. She started in her late 80s when she said that the number of Christmas cards she got dwindled each year because more of her friends and relatives had died.

If you live into your late 80s/90s, for many people they are one of the last survivors of their generation or group of friends. It's very sad. . Keeping Christmas cards of those that have gone avoids the bleakness of just one or two cards when before there were many more.

[Dubbadubbadumdum]

Nothing strange about it OP, you carry on putting your cards up, and tell your mother not to be nosing to see who sent them!!

I didn't get any cards in the post last year, so I hung the ones I had kept from the year previous and I'll be doing the same again this year!

[EagleVisionSquirrelWork]

Off the point, I know, but...do you only send cards to people who sent you one last year?

[Tinaarena]

I always do this, nobody in my family has ever commented on it being weird. its comforting to see the handwriting to be honest and know they are still around me in a weird way.

[Rumnraisin]

“Strange” is such an odd word to use in itself, quite cruel and definitely judgemental in this context. Like others have said, this is such a lovely and respectful thing to do to acknowledge passed loved ones at Christmas.

[SistersOfPercy]

I will add despite the joke he did buy cards, but Mum always favoured this one so eventually they did what a lot of couples do and stopped buying them at all.

I'd not considered framing cards, but I have a couple of special ones that would be nice framed so thats an idea actually.

To absent friends indeed. Christmas is a hard time for many of us that have lost loved ones. We seek comfort where we can.

[SlayBellsRing]

I too have one from my mum their is something special about her writing.

I have so many memories linked to her Christmas sometimes hurts.

[IwantedtobeEmmaPeel]

@Mummylin I do the same as you and feel exactly the same seeing "My Daughter" on those cards.

[echt]

echt it’s really difficult, isn’t it. I’ve kept so much stuff in my DH’s handwriting and I can’t get rid of them, but it also hurts to read them

Thank you T0tallyFuckedUpFamily, for so getting this.

for your loss.

[MrsPear]

I have two cards in frames - people have noticed them as pictures as they are pretty. What they don’t know is that the messages inside are from grandparents - my mums parents are dead now and my dads mother is lost to vesicular dementia.

[TheTinselrati]

That's lovely OP.

We don't get many Christmas cards. I have kept favs from previous years that I put out at Christmas. Not because I want to look like we get lots, but because they are especially lovely, or have a special meaning/connection/message.