I hate my cat

[thegirlfrommars]

I'm really disappointed and ashamed that this is the case but here we go

I got a kitten about 6 months ago, my DC really wanted a pet and with the hours we work we felt a dog was too much of a commitment, my DP really wanted a kitten and I've had cats before and had no issues so we decided this was what we would do!

Fast forward 6 months, me and my partner have split up and I know this is dramatic but the cat is ruining my life!

I'm so angry all the time, it literally just attacks me and my DC when we try and interact with it, it's constantly stealing food or managing to knock bins over or eating toilet rolls etc, I've obviously moved things to prevent this but it's getting to the point where there's nothing left to move! It knocked out tv over the other day and thank god it didn't break because we couldn't afford to replace it

It's not only that but even things that aren't 'it's fault' are making me so stress I'm angry all the time that there's cat hairs everywhere, it's litter box litter gets everywhere, it always does a poo immediately after I've cleaned it out

I'm aware that a lot of this stuff is normal cat owner problems and like I said I've had them before and not been bothered by these things but I can't tell you how much I resent it and wish i never got it, I'm obviously not mean to it and I look after it how I should but god I hate it!

It's a Male and is due to be neutered soon which I'm told will help, and once it's recovered from that it can go outside which should help too but I've honestly got to the point where even if it spends the majority of its time outside I will resent the time it does spend inside

We've just put our Xmas tree up and I can't even let it into the room because obviously it's knocking all the baubles off. which again I expected and know is normal

I honestly just get no pleasure from it, my DC is scared of it, I've really tried to love it and done all the things I should have but it's just making me so miserable

I really do not want to be one of those people that gives up a pet, I've had many before and it's not how I've been brought up, but I'm getting to the end of my tether and spend most of my days fantasising about someone else taking him!

I don't know what I want really other than maybe some reassurance that I'm not an awful person and any advice anyone can off

(For anyone thinking the obvious it's not an option for partner to take him)

Thanks :(

Agree with @Costacoffeeplease if you hate your pet as your title suggests, please rehome so the poor kitty can have a life he deserves.

Op are you seeing a counsellor about the split?

We are (understandably) focusing on the poor kitten, while you are clearly going through something. You need to talk this through. Only you know if the feelings you are having towards the cat are unusual for you.

But you need a professional to help you through the split. In the cat, talk to your son, see if he agrees the kitten might be happier somewhere else.

I think OP you are getting a hard time. You hate the cat because he scratches and bites you and your child despite you doing everything you thought you should and having cats in the past. Who would seriously be happy with a biting scratching cat?! I don’t think it will be easy to regime this cat either though as the non biting scratching cats have a hard enough time getting chosen. I would get him neutered ASAP and let him outside and see if that improves things for you all. I really hope it does and in a year you will be able to look back and think wasn’t dcat a nightmare before he was neutered? 🤞🤞🤞

Dogs have masters, cats have maids.

Think for a minute if you will about those lying on floors in A+E at death's door.

Might put things into perspective for those who think pets are gods. They are not. Humans are best. They look after the pets after all.

Sounds like bloody hard work to me. But what do I know. Cats/kittens are the masters in their owner's lives end of the day.

Rehome not regime. x post with you op and if cat is playful rather than violent maybe you should give him to a cat rescue sooner rather than later.

All kittens scratch and bite, they’re kittens, I’ve got two at the moment, that’s what they do. They pull things over and ‘play’ with whatever they can get their paws on, all totally normal. The op’s reaction is not normal, so take the poor thing to a rescue while it’s young enough to be rehomed, plus they’ll neuter him too

You say you get no pleasure from it, well it's not a toy there for your entertainment, it's a living thing. please be a responsible pet owner and do what is truly in the best interest for the pet.

Ok I think I'm getting confused, it was 8 weeks I got him

8 weeks is still too early. 12 to 13 weeks is recommended. You will see lots of ads for kittens at 8 weeks - these people are irresponsible cat owners.

There’s no need for anyone to name anyone or any pet in a post, so your choice of calling your pet ‘it’ instead of ‘him’ is insightful.
I’ve said it before but people saying ‘just rehome ‘it’, rehome ‘it’ to a rescue’ etc. don’t actually mean ‘rehome’, they mean ‘add him to the overrun animal charities who have no room and no funding and no interest in animals already dumped there.’, people breeding animals are scum, would the breeder of your It not take him back? Or were they just another backyard breeder? In my area, animal charities have endless tiny kittens and no one wants them, I think you’d be hard pressed to find a home for an adolescent-adult cat, charities have thousands of them across the land.

(I mean there’s no interest in the animals dumped in charities, not that the poor staff have no interest in them)

That’s true but if the op ‘hates’ him what future does he have there?

I’m sorry you are getting such a hard time here op. It’s sounds as though it’s been a very stressful period for you all.
I have had a few cats and they have very different personalities - and I have loved some more than others. My current old girl is absolutely lovely but she was wild as a kitten, esp up to 6 months and we were all a bit scared of her . She didn’t bite but would scratch and wasn’t very loving . That all changed as she got older. I think you have to decide whether you can bear to see if things settle down, esp after neutering or whether this is just the wrong time for you to have a cat. You shouldn’t let people who don’t know you , on an online forum , make you feel guilty.
My friend who adores cats had to return 1 kitten to the cats protection because it was too aggressive and she couldn’t cope with it. It happens

That’s true but if the op ‘hates’ him what future does he have there

But there's a 99.9% e will improve with neutering and safe outdoor access . His life will improve and his world will open up.
Cats are different . Some are cuddly some are distant .

They want food,routine,a kind word (well a kind tone of voice)

In A Rescue he might end up in a Foster home or he might end up in a pen.
See how many long term cats are in the many Rescues .

I reckon they can cope with indiffereance , Not neglect or cruelty or temper . But you don't need to be over them like a cheap suit .

Give him a couple of months to settle his hormones .

Get kitty a friend!
This is exactly why kittens should be rehomed in pairs, and in families where there is someone home most of the time.

Kittens need to practice appropriate behaviors with each other rather than on humans. They need a lot of stimulation.

Do you have loads of toys?
What about a cat tree?
Dangle toys?

Honestly, get him a friend and this will help expend some energy and learn appropriate play. And don't delay!

Also change your cat litter to a better quality one. Less stink, as long as you hook the dirty bits out.

If you consider putting him in a rescue, try cat chat for a list of local rescues. Call them, get on waiting lists, get him up to date on all vaccs, neutering, chip etc as it will save the rescue the money. It takes a whole day fundraising (tin shaking) to raise enough money to do all of that.

I think it's likely that he'll settle once neutered so try and give him a bit longer and see how things go. Also as others have suggested a feliway plug-in may also help. If things don't work out could your ex not take him? Please be really careful if you do decide to rehome, there are all kinds of nasty people out there. You need to do a thorough home check or go through a rescue who will do a home check. It's also possible that you are stressed and/or depressed and if you're able to sort those emotions out, your feelings towards the cat might change, might be worth a chat with your GP. Good luck

Sometimes a person doesn't 'gel' with a particular individual animal- it's no-one's fault. If you bought the cat mostly for your DC and they don't like him, you'd be perfectly reasonable in advertising so someone who might get on with him could have him, or taking him to a shelter where he can be rehomed.

I had a cat briefly that my then OH and I didn't get on with. He destroyed carpets etc in the rented flat and spent all night trying to break in to the bedroom while we were sleeping (I know some people can sleep with their pets, but I can't usually.) He was a rehome anyway and I can see why. Eventually he went back to a shelter.

I had a dog who was completely temperamentally unsuitable to be a pet- her next owners didn't get on with her either, and I think even had her put down, as she was violent.

On the other hand, in the spring my bestie (ex OH) and I went through a phase of disliking our 2 cats. No particular reason except the usual- smells, hair etc and we just randomly lost affection for them for a couple of months. We now love them again :) Just one of those things! :)

Having said that, it sounds like this cat might not be a good fit for you, and if you decide that then that's a shame, but the way it goes sometimes- not your fault.

Most cats I've bought as kittens have been 8 weeks old btw- that's fairly standard where I live.

One or two animals will be born temperamentally unsuited to be a pet, unfortunately, or at least not the right pet for a particular person.

Also, it sounds like you have a lot on your plate at the moment, and you don't have the energy to do all the stuff you have to do for a pet. Please don't blame yourself. xxxxx

I also had anaemia once and doing the basics for the cats seemed a lot of work. Maybe your mental and physical health isn't at its best? And/or you just don't get on with this cat :) xxx

Oh and yes they can be real handfuls at that age and come out of it after the snip etc.

Hi op I'm in a similar situation to you my ex brought home two kittens that I didn't want he was abusive so I didn't have the strength to stand up to him at the time and the kids love them. We split 3 years ago and he left me with them and no matter how hard I try I just don't like them. I'm not horrible to them they sit on my lap (one does other just attacks me) and give them all they need but just them being around gets on my nerves. I think it's to do with them being from him. Plus the extra work they make me and the money they cost that I really struggle with (dread them getting Ill as I can't afford vets). The kids love them though so I can't give them up.

So I just wanted to let you know you aren't the only one feeling like this. I really feel it's to do with how I feel about my ex as I've had many cats before and I loved them. He left me with three children and two cats to provide for and it's bloody hard work. I know it's not the cats fault but they are just a reminder of him and how I gave into everything he wanted.

Our kitten was totally demonic at that age. We have a small child and she repeatedly went for his face and was very nearly re-homed. Once she could go outside every time she drew blood she was squirted with water and dumped out of the door. It didn't take her long to understand that hurting the humans had consequences and now its all claws in and cuddles on lap. She isnt perfect but with a bit of training she can now stay and we all love her to bits. It was hairy back then though as she was a danger to our toddler with her vicious ways. BTW I grew up with cats and numerous kittens and as they were pedegree we suffered none of those issues. I suspect our cat is part feral to be honest. Perhaps yours is too?

Poor bloody cat 😔. It will know you don't like it. Do it a favour and find someone who will love it. I don't think that in your case getting it neutered and it going outside will change your feelings

Poor little baby! Calling him "him" rather than "It" might be a start.

Swapping the cat for another one isn't really teaching your child a good attitude towards animals - but then if no-one loves him, maybe he'd be better with a family that do. Given that you haven't had the patience with this one, I would not reccomend that you try with another.
Have you asked your vet for behaviourial advice?

Mine doesn't like being stroked lots - she lets me know when she's had enough. He clearly likes you/the comfort of sitting on you - whatch his behaviour closely, you'll start to learn when he has had enough stroking.
Try just sitting still with him on your lap and talking to him gently - and encourage your son to do the same.
Blue Cross reccomend that cats can be neutered at four months old.

My fail proof litter tray system is a large covered box, with two interchangeable smaller ones inside that (one inside the other) - you only need to clean the smaller one and can swap them over. Some of the litter gets kicked into the larger tray. To stop tracking, a rubber car mat with prongs - got mine from a £1 store.

My tree is decorated with mostly felt decorations, nothing breakable, and is always in a very firm, heavy base (Kriner).
Also ha tiny stockings with cat treats on it - but my one (indoor cat) is very well behaved.

oh, forgot, small dustpan and brush that lives on top of the litter tray - but used more for mess I make cleaning, rather than litter spread by my cat.

Sorry but any animal repeatedly referred to as "it" should have a new home.