I hate my cat

[thegirlfrommars]

I'm really disappointed and ashamed that this is the case but here we go

I got a kitten about 6 months ago, my DC really wanted a pet and with the hours we work we felt a dog was too much of a commitment, my DP really wanted a kitten and I've had cats before and had no issues so we decided this was what we would do!

Fast forward 6 months, me and my partner have split up and I know this is dramatic but the cat is ruining my life!

I'm so angry all the time, it literally just attacks me and my DC when we try and interact with it, it's constantly stealing food or managing to knock bins over or eating toilet rolls etc, I've obviously moved things to prevent this but it's getting to the point where there's nothing left to move! It knocked out tv over the other day and thank god it didn't break because we couldn't afford to replace it

It's not only that but even things that aren't 'it's fault' are making me so stress I'm angry all the time that there's cat hairs everywhere, it's litter box litter gets everywhere, it always does a poo immediately after I've cleaned it out

I'm aware that a lot of this stuff is normal cat owner problems and like I said I've had them before and not been bothered by these things but I can't tell you how much I resent it and wish i never got it, I'm obviously not mean to it and I look after it how I should but god I hate it!

It's a Male and is due to be neutered soon which I'm told will help, and once it's recovered from that it can go outside which should help too but I've honestly got to the point where even if it spends the majority of its time outside I will resent the time it does spend inside

We've just put our Xmas tree up and I can't even let it into the room because obviously it's knocking all the baubles off. which again I expected and know is normal

I honestly just get no pleasure from it, my DC is scared of it, I've really tried to love it and done all the things I should have but it's just making me so miserable

I really do not want to be one of those people that gives up a pet, I've had many before and it's not how I've been brought up, but I'm getting to the end of my tether and spend most of my days fantasising about someone else taking him!

I don't know what I want really other than maybe some reassurance that I'm not an awful person and any advice anyone can off

(For anyone thinking the obvious it's not an option for partner to take him)

Thanks :(

Google Jackson Galaxy- US cat behaviourist. Loads on YouTube that might help.

Sorry but why on earth hasn't he been snipped yet? Unneutered toms are terrible house pets! And they reek for a few weeks after the snip. I have just adopted a 2 year old from CP who they had to neuter and dear Christ the smell when we met him!

Get the poor boy seen to, then re evaluate.

Also agree with other posters that you don’t sound like an experienced cat owner. They love a clean litter tray. There are solutions to litter getting out of the tray, cat hair is impossible to avoid, kittens will scratch and bite until they learn not to, cats will climb Christmas trees and TVs.

They are expensive, high maintenance pets that need to be trained,
Articulately if you get them when they are tiny.

Why haven’t you had him neutered earlier? I had my cat done at 5 months as he was just starting to show this behaviour. I know it’s not helpful but if you’d had him done at the correct time he could have already been going out and not getting stressed himself and not wrecked your house.

Aw. I had a wee kitten who drove me mental (when I lived at home - he was my sisters kitten). He was an affectionate little soul but he wound me up doing stuff like running off with my make up brushes. I was a selfish teenager and he got on my nerves.

Then he got hit by a car when he was just one. I don’t think anyone in that house was more heartbroken than I was. I can’t really explain it but I really felt it.

My MIL adopted a mum cat and a kitten after her previous cat was PTS a few years ago. The kitten was WILD, even after he was neutered, and a right wee bugger. He’s now coming up three and a little dote, but poor MIL (who has had cats for 40 years) was at her wits’ end - as was the mum cat who he really bullied!

Our cat is a loving, gentle soul, but she can still be a pest, and I frequently tell her she’s for the pound when she stamps on my head at 5am, or wants out just as we’re locking up for bed. I am quietly dreading the Christmas tree going up this week. All that aside, I would be beyond heartbroken if anything happened to her, or if we had to rehome her. I think if you genuinely feel you would be better off without the cat, or he would be better off without you, then it might be the right thing to give him up.

See how you feel after he is neutered and can go out. It is possible to get pets and then find that it was a bad decision. If that turns out to be the case then he will need rehoming for everyone’s sake.

He is 6 months now, just, i the vet recommended 6 months for the snip and not to let him out before that so I have done as they suggested, the last time he was at the vets for his checks and working etc they felt his balls and said they were still a bit small so to give it another few weeks

I agree I have come across as cold about him, but I'm trying to get across to people how I feel inside, I'm sure people won't believe this or will say it will still know how I feel even if I don't act like it but I am honestly kind and gentle with him and try if he comes to me to snuggle I try not to touch him too much even though that's the natural reaction but like I said, just moving seems to piss him off

I call him it because I don't want to say his name on here as i don't want to be outed as the heartless cow I clearly am

I know people's opinion on situations like this and I usually am amongst them people, but I went into this with what I thought was the right attitude and the tools under my belt to make it a great decision, no bodies perfect and somethings don't turn out like we expect, I guess that's why I posted, these feelings I've got are very alien to me, I've never felt like this about a pet before and I do feel bad for the cat but equally, I don't feel inclined to continue punishing myself forever for the way this has turned out.

On the litter thing, ive just remembered this, my kitten used to only use it when it was clean and only in a specific place in the house. That place was a real inconveniance for everyone but we put up with it because it was a stepping stone for her going outside.

She occasionally brings the odd mouse in now but I love her. Ive just this moment made her a 'downstairs bed' of a blanket and a cushion 🙂

Ill have your little kitten OP. I bet he'll be lovely after some sorting out.

You said you have had him for 6 months, though. How old was he when you got him?

Ah sorry. I thought you meant you’d got him 6 months ago so assumed he was around 9 months now.

My cat is currently being a terror so I definitely sympathise. Try and just see it out until he’s neutered and give it another couple of months to see if there’s a change once he’s going out, less hormones etc. Then, if you’re still unhappy look into rehoming knowing that you gave it your best shot.

Your cat should be neutered already, I’m assuming ‘it’ never came from a rescue as they’ll either neuter first before adoption or make it part of the adoption agreement. Your story is so typical of the hundreds of older kittens/young cats that end up in shelters.

Ex wanted the cat? So why on earth did you take him in the first place! Give the cat back to the ex! Let the ex stress over giving him for adoption or not.

In reply to people saying I don't sound like experienced cat owner, I don't claim to be a cat lady but have had cats on and off all my life, and that's kind of why I'm confused at the situation, I know kittens scratch and bite and climb and cat litter gets everywhere and cat hair gets everywhere etc and that's why I can't understand why I feel like I do this time around! If that makes sense!

Again to clarify the vets saw him a couple of weeks ago and said the usual age is 6 months which he just is now and to see in a couple of weeks if they can feel the balls any better

He was 4 weeks when I got him, so is just 6 months now, I've probably confused that a bit but I got him in September at 4 weeks old

I'm not saying the ex wanted it and I didn't, it was just that I wasn't that fussed but ex and my son wanted him so we got him, I was happy too but not desperate to if that makes sense. Ex can't have him, there's nothing else to say it's just not an option!

Did he come with his mum then if you got a kitten so very small?

4 weeks. That could be a big part of your problem. Far too young. He should have been with his mother. Poor wee man😢.

I got my kitten at seven weeks, still far too young and she needed a lot of extra help and vet attention. She was rejected by her mother bit needed to learn how to play gently. Took a lot of patience and research. My vet was a big help.

Four weeks?! Are they not supposed to be eight weeks minimum?!

4 weeks?! That can’t be right. If it is then it may well explain your cats strange behaviour.

Oh neutering calms them right down. After seeing the effect it had on my Bengal I wanted to get dh done but he wasn’t up for it.

I know there’s draw backs but honestly getting men done too I really think society would be less violent.

Right now your cats a ball of pent up frustration but a couple of weeks after castration they turn into soppy cats.

September wasn’t 6 months ago.....

Ok I think I'm getting confused, it was 8 weeks I got him!

I 100% checked online to see when it was ok for a kitten to leave mum and also the lady I got him off was lovely and had a lot of litters over the years and did it properly

That adds up because I told my DS he had th same birthday as cat as he was born in June, which makes 8 weeks in sept! Sorry for the confusion!

Four weeks? Was he even weaned? Are you sure? That might be why he's such a handful if he didn't have his mum and siblings to teach him. Our adult cat who was hand reared can be a bit of a handful ( especially about food) and he was without his mum from 2 days ( she couldn't feed as very ill). Poor little love. Now everyone will jump on that. Are you sure?

You don't like the cat (probably projecting from your split) and the kitten sounds scared of you and your family picking up on your feelings for it. I don't see this getting any better so I think you should bite the bullet and rehome".............win/win. You get peace and the kitten gets a loving home

Okay cross posted