AIBU why do women have more than 2 children

[Gin96]

2 children, Now we have the benifit cap? I see so many women struggling after having baby number 3 after the cut off date in 2017. I don’t agree with the cap but it is what it is. Men should pay towards their children but i’m afraid a lot don’t and it’s left on the shoulders of women. Why do women put themselves in this vulnerable position?

Perhaps I’m naive and blind to what goes on outside my own world. But do a statistically significant number of people really have children for benefits, or have children intending to live on benefits?

No they don't. Its an urban myth that is trotted out over and over again by right wing benefit bashers.

There are a complicated array of reasons that women on benefits find themselves pregnant. Just as in the rest of society. People on benefits are people. On benefits.

Would you have a child for an extra £50 quid a week (or whatever), or a larger house? Would you do night feeding, school runs and 18 years of running around after them, just for a few extra bob that you will have to, er, spend on them. The net benefit of the benefits to the parents is likely to be a couple of quid.

It's a ridiculous idea

I do sometimes wonder if larger families ever do think 'what if' before they have another child? We have one DC so if we lost family income due to redundancy for example, we could muddle on for a while. But if we had 6 children we would be in trouble

I'm a taxpayer and I'm more mad about companies and billionaires not paying their fair share than people with more than 2 kids.
But I guess poor kids are an easier scapegoat. This!!!

IMO anyone who relies on benefits shouldn't have children at all. Not fair to the children, not fair in those of us who work to have to pay for them. And some women make a rod for their own back having kids with (multiple) feckless men with no commitment 🙄

Eh? Because no one expects their life to come crashing down around their ears I suppose.

I wouldn’t even be eligible for child benefit anyway, I work and could pay for me and a few kids myself. We aren’t all at the mercy of our menfolk.

Personally I don’t give a shit about paying for other people’s kids from taxes. Well worth it to reduce the Dickensian levels of poverty that seem to be creeping back into our society of late.

So very many benefits threads at the moment 🤔

I'm still trying to find a reason why it's any of your business how many children anyone has. I'm pregnant with my third , we're not on benefits and I'm with my husband so is that okay in your mind?
Of course my husband could leave me (or worse) but if I lived like that we wouldn't have had any children at all!

YABU, you don’t know peoples circumstances

We went for ages without threads like this, call a fucking election and it's like fucking Groundhog Day for Tory bots.

How many kids has Boris fathered? No one bangs on about that, except him, he can't keep it in his trousers.

Only if you also wonder the same about men, OP.

I don't think YABU op, there are often threads on here about how it is to have 3 or 4 kids and I do find myself thinking - why would you do that? Regardless of the financial situation, you cannot expect sympathy from anyone if you have more than the average amount after all we all have access to free contraception of all types. Plus, kids do have a big environmental impact, so beyond replacement of population, having above average amount could be seen as irresponsible - even immoral. Totally ready to get flamed for that!

*how HARD it is to have 3+ kids...

I had 4 children , and no benefits except child benefit , which I could have managed without .It didn't cross my mind that we couldn't have afforded another one , as extra children really don't cost as much as some people think

You guys know there are people who are grown up who have more than one sibling reading this and seeing you imply we shouldn't have been born?
Just saying.

It's not a woman's job to look into the future and accurately predict whether or not her dh/dp will do a runner and abandon his children.

Is it? answer that, OP.

emmylousings Mon 09-Dec-19 15:05:31
I don't think YABU op, there are often threads on here about how it is to have 3 or 4 kids and I do find myself thinking - why would you do that? Regardless of the financial situation, you cannot expect sympathy from anyone if you have more than the average amount after all we all have access to free contraception of all types. Plus, kids do have a big environmental impact, so beyond replacement of population, having above average amount could be seen as irresponsible - even immoral. Totally ready to get flamed for that!

So if your reasoning is you should only have enough children to replace the population , what do you suggest should happen to those who choose not , or those who cant have children ....maybe you need a little rethink

All of you saying "it's no one's business" and " woman can have as many children as they want" I assume none of you are concerned about climate change?

Overpopulation is one of, if not the, biggest contributors to climate change. I am absolutely amazed that some people are so selfish as to have more than 2 children.

The selfish stupid couple that have 7 children and are now using Gofundme are all that is wrong with this country. No one made them have 7 children. Why the hell can't they work? They should not expect to be given money to support the children they chose to have.

What a stupid question.

Firstly, not everyone with 3 or more kids are on benefit, so the cap doesn't make any odds.
Secondly, why not ask why people carried on having more when tc were dropped from entitlement at 46k to 26k.

I know in my area at least the 2 child cap came about when health services were already deteriorating- local sexual health and contraceptive clinic shut down, GP appointment waiting times longer than ever etc. The whole process of getting a copper coil took me over 3 months from first asking to actually getting it inserted.

And yes I know women should try and work around these difficulties but contraception being less quick and easy to access WILL result in a lot more unplanned pregnancies.

@lynsey91, they can't work because they live in a region with very little employment.

They are in hardship because of the Austerity measures.

As for environmental impact. Whenever our population is seen to be dropping we bring in immigrants, who traditionally have 5+ children.

So it wouldn't matter how many children women born in the UK produce, we'll always be overpopulated.

The selfish stupid couple that have 7 children and are now using Gofundme are all that is wrong with this country.

Dont be ridiculous lynsey91, they aren't responsible for Brexit, Austerity, racism, country lines, sex abuse, people trafficking, sectarian violence and stupidity. Theres plenty wrong with this country none of it the fault of families with more than 2 children.

For me the answer is that men should be made equally accountable for their children's upbringing and there needs to be harsher penalties for men failing to provide for their children. Or for doctoring their self employed books.

Women wouldn't be so vulnerable then.

Many reasons. Shit happens. Abortion isn't acceptable for everyone.
As for benefits... i think its selfish and thoughtless to go on having kids when you are already in poverty. What kind of life quality will they have?

Fucking hell - you do know that not all women are on benefits, right? And even those who are probably didn’t have their children only to be able to get benefits. Children are not cash cows.

I don't know so I shall ask my sister why she continued her 2nd pregnancy and had her twins after her husband left.