Dropping out of Masters so embarrassed and lost

[KnuckFows]

Realised my dissertation is simply not good enough. It absolute won't pass, it would be ok for undergrad but not this. DP is exasperated says I'm being too hard on myself and negative, that's not it though it really is not relevant and only realised what the problem is today and can't fix it in a couple of days.

I'm so depressed about this, and my family will be a bit contemptuous. I've dropped out of a postgrad degree before but really thought I could do it this time - and I have done well in my assignments so there's that. I will have a certificate.

My family all take for granted I can just do this level of academic work, I grew up being told how bright I am and im clearly bloody not!! I feel like that is (unintentionally) a set up for feeling like a failure when I can't deliver? Which I honestly can't.

I have an adhd diagnosis but not even really sure I have it, I have several medical conditions which can possibly interfere with concentration and stamina, and mean I could not try the adhd medication anyway.

The thing is it doesn't even matter what the reason is for failing, the reasons why become meaningless, just that oh look KnuckFows has failed again smirk smirk.

At a loss, not sure what direction to go in now without this degree. More fool me for thinking id get it.

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Op what is your subject

How are you a failure in the education field if you are close to submitting a Masters dissertation? You must have a first degree, A levels (access course certificate?)?

When historians produce "conclusions" all they are doing is reviewing the evidence and forming an opinion on it.

And the first 50% of marks are the easiest to get.

Submit your work. It is no good to say "I am going to fail anyway so I want to choose how I fail". And you can write 1500 words in the time. Isn't the word count a maximum? 1000 words below may be fine, if you can find another 500.

I hope you come back in a few weeks/months and tell us you passed!

If you have done well in your assignments you absolutely can do it.
It is clear from your OP that you have little confidence in yourself and your abilities.
With respect, fuck all the naysayers. Even if you try and you fail, you will be able to hold your head high because you tried.
Check your submission date
How long have you got?
Break it into small chunks.
Lean on your supervisor.
Send them small chunks regularly. Tell them you are having a crisis of confidence and need supportive criticism (sometimes supervisors can be blunt. There are times when that is useful.This isn't one of them. Let them know).
Do a chunk a day.
A few hundred words.
Don't start editing it.
Just write it.
When you have a decent amount, send it off to your supervisor. It is their job to help you through.
Use study support services, librarians, your class mates. Just put everything else to one side and use anyone you can.
You clearly can do this because you would not have got this far otherwise.
At the end of the day, this masters is for you. Who cares what other people think? Do they have a masters? if they don't, fuck em. I they do, then they should appreciate how difficult it is. If they don't, well, fuck them too.
I have just finished my masters (results come out in 2 days, and fingers crossed) and there were so many people who felt the way that you did. Their confidence just evaporated the closer it got to the deadline. Good people who were doing good work, just had a melt down
I think that the absolute key thing to remember is, your work does not have to be perfect. YOU do not have to be perfect. Striving for perfection can become a form of avoidance that saps your confidence and motivation.
Don't strive for perfect. Strive for good enough (this is my life motto)
Even if the work that you do in your dissertation is not quite as good as you want it to be, do it, submit it, and then be proud of yourself that, no matter what, you stuck it out and finished it.
Good luck

OP you sound very anxious and negative unjustifiably. If you got good results in assignments it is very unlikely you will not get a pass. I remember my course convener at MSc telling the class that in order to fail something quite disastrous would have to happen. I proof read a few students who just failed their assignments (47-49) and in their case their english was terrible; barely comprehendible. They got the the scores they did because the bibliography suggested they understood core themes.

Did you register as having a disability? If not go to student support with any evidence as this will get you extra time and support. Remember that as long as you justify your limitations/data anomalies rogue results are fine. They are not expecting comprehensive experimental results at masters level.

Well done OP (I haven't tagged you because I don't want to distract you ) for sticking with it. It sounds as though once this has over that some good therapy would be a good idea to try and help with your anxiety and self esteem. For now though just keep going - I'm rooting for you here!

The course coordinator is going to think im an arsehole

I've worked in course coordination for several years and I assure you, nobody is laughing at you. The most frustrating thing is when a student is struggling and they don't come to you until it's too late.

Well done for emailing. They WANT you to pass. It's in everyone's interests and they will help as much as possible.

Don't give up!!!!!!

Take the advice above. Decided a way of framing the results you have (no results is still a result).

Try and get an extension.

Work hard over the next couple of days.

Submit it and there is still hope.

GOOD LUCK!

You must talk to your tutor. I know it’s embarrassing but please do. I did a masters and like lots of people needed to do some corrections (even with corrections it makes me cringe to read it now - def not the perfect piece of work I thought I needed/would do) and a couple of people studying with me got extensions or paused for a full year in one case but finished it the next. I have recently been diagnosed with ADHD too and I can see with hindsight how it effected me but also I did get there. Albeit with work I still feel is substandard! Can’t fix the imposter syndrome but do have an MA

Sorry should have rtft! Too eager to write to you. Good luck!!!

Another academic here. We don't laugh at students and we don't secretly think they are arseholes. We want students to do their best and show us what they can do. Well done for emailing your tutor. Hopefully they can give you some pointers to raise your work to a pass level (if it is failing ATM, which I'm not convinced about). At my institution, an ADHD diagnosis would access you substantial study support to overcome your learning disability.

Hullo! OP I am very similar to you. I failed an MA on my dissertation, though all else was good. I was allowed to resubmit and was given lots of support.

I also have ADD though was only diagnosed afterwards.

It’s all ended up being useful in the end. I learned a lot from the resubmitting process and it’s ended up shaping my career in an interesting way.

Glad to see in your last post that you feel a bit better and are eating again.

Just complete to the best of your ability and submit. You may pass.

Remember, unless family members work in the department, they can;t know your grade unless you tell them. And it' sno one's business but yours how well you did.

Don;t try to control the failure. Take the leap of faith. If you don;t pass you are no worse off than if you drop out. But you may pass. You may amaze yourself. Either way, you have studied and learned and know more than you did at the outset. The degree award is important but your insight is also valuable, whether you pass or fail.

Good luck.

until I hear back from somebody im going to keep writing and editing for as long as I can

Sounds like a great plan! Good luck.

I felt like this about my masters dissertation OP. I was nearly 3,000 words below the word count. All of the sections had things missing and I knew part of my results were wrongly analysed. But it was an extension and I just didn’t have the time to correct it before the deadline.

I got 62% for it (from a Russell group university, which was why I was so convinced it would fail as they’d told us all how tough it would be to pass at their standard of university) and I’ve got a merit overall. Submit and see how it goes! If you do fail you can still take the certificate at the lower level.

Just chiming in as another academic, we will pull out all the stops to help a student who needs it, but we can't help unless you let us know it's needed! Well done on asking today. 100% guarantee no one laughed. Good luck with writing today!

I'm going to do my usual post about looking on Manchester Uni's academic phrasebank. It gives you clear paragraph headers and phrases that can help clarify your thinking/direction. Really worth having a look at it. Good luck!

Thank you all again.

Nobody has replied from the department all day so now I'm worried I've made things worse somehow. There was probably nothing they could do so close to the deadline, but now I'm just cringing. Everyone is very diligent about putting on their out of office email, so it's not that they are away today.

But I'm just plodding on with the writing. Have edited a reasonable size part of a chapter too.

In some respect yanbu, its perfectly normal to doubt yourself sometimes and I believe it stops you living in cuckoo land.
However, the risk you run is bottling out of things all the time and I don't think I that's good.

You've put too much work in to bomb out now, seek some advice and submit the best work you can. You can only do your best, don't waste the effort you have already put in. All the best.

Keep going! Good luck

OP, I work in a Uni and I know that it looks really bad for them to have a postgrad fail. They WILL want to help you pass. If you go and speak to someone in your academic Dept and ask for help, someone will support you. If you don't feel confident approaching a lecturer, talk to one of the administrators. They will know the lecturers well and will have an idea who the helpful/unhelpful people are and will be able to get some support. The admin people really do care about the students. If that doesn't work, try the student union.

If you are not due to submit until the summer, there's still time to make amendments. Even if it's not the best dissertation in the world, your tutors should help you get it over the line.

I know you feel things are hopeless right now, but things will be easier with the right support network in place.

It's hard being a neurodiverse student in a system designed for neurotypical people. Don't under-estimate the challenges you have faced. Have you seen Jessica McCabe's Ted talks about being ADHD, they are very inspiring and you might relate to them.

Well done!

Don't forget to keep stopping to refuel with food and water.
You can do this! Please don't waste any of your brain power agonising about what your head is telling you people may or may not think!
A. It doesn't matter
B. Your worries about it are thoughts only, not facts!
C. You just need your focus to be on getting it done, and getting it sent.

I'm so glad you haven't given up!

I think you need to talk to your lecturer or someone else at uni before making this decision

Rather than worrying about an extension why don't you take a leave of absence and stop the clock for 3 months while you work in your dissertation. You can return from your please of absence early and submit your dissertation at the next opportunity. This assumes you won't be out of time ie 2 years equivalent studying time in a full time course or 4 years on a part time one

Everyone is very diligent about putting on their out of office email, so it's not that they are away today

I am SURE they're not just ignoring you. It's in their interests to help you pass. They are on your side, not against you.

Who did you send it to? It's certainly possible they're away and haven't put their OOO on. What if they're sick? There's norovirus doing the rounds in my town, for example.

If you didn't get a reply and you need one, try someone else tomorrow.

I've read your whole thread and I do feel for you. I also have ADHD. I'm only doing my undergraduate but I totally relate to the anxiety and panic!
Just keep going! It sounds like you are almost there.
I know I can't compare my degree to a masters level but the feeling I have turned in shit work is similar. I've got so worked up about some assignments yet they have come back with brilliant marks. Other stuff I've been pleased with has not done so well even when I sit with the marking rubric and think I've hit all the criteria for a first
You just HAVE to submit. Good luck.