Is having 3 really that bad?

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Just found out I'm pregnant with child #3. Is having 3 really that bad. My husband says people tell him three is really hard and they regret it all the time. At every stage. For me I've never had people regretting; yes a lot of work and energy. Not sure what we'll decide to do but I just need some other people's perspective!

What are the age gaps and sexes of your dc?

Nearly 4 and 18 months

I found going from 2 to 3 hard for the first two years, but then it got loads easier and now I love it. No regrets here at all.

The only people I know who've "regretted" it is when they have 2 then a big gap and then number 3.
I'm the youngest of 3 and it's character building getting beats from 2 older brothers!! :)

I have three. I dont regret it. But your husband sounds like he intends to. Tell him he needs to up.his game!

Oh and I have a big gap between 2 and 3.

My husband is very money orientated and all he can think about is the cost of going from 4 to 5. Flights, hotel room, days out, new car etc etc. I can bear the thought of that for the next 20 years.

of course its not that bad, ive got 3...15, 14 and 8, sometimes its hard, but mostly its great.

I think it depends on the person, my friend is a very very easygoing mum and just made for the job, she’s itching for number 3. Whereas I love my kids and I would die for them, however I couldn’t imagine anything worse than having any more (I have two).
Have you always wanted 3? I think you just adapt!

I’ve got 3 under 5. Not hard at all,
Well no harder than 2.

For me, the hardest transition was 1 to 2. Going from 2 to 3 was no trouble at all.

Hi, no, it's not that bad. No 3 for us was definitely not planned. Had less than 2 years between 1 & 2 but 6 years between 2 & 3. Bit of a shock going back to nappies & having to buy all the baby stuff again & timing was atrocious. But wouldn't be without any of them & the older 2 were great with no3, extra pairs of hands, could watch baby for 5 mins whilst I was in the shower, making dinner, etc. Never regretted it.

I found going from 2 to 3 the easiest transition, far easier than going from 1 to 2. Yes it's more work and expense but by number three you've got experience under your belt so even when things are rough (newborn stage, teething, toddler tantrums, etc) you know that it will eventually pass plus from your older children you've learned a few tricks and techniques you can try to help along the way. You cherish the peaceful moments and the joyful moments because you know they'll pass by too.

He is so upset about it. It is like the worst thing that's happened. I feel like we're stuck between a rock and a hard place. I'm going to hate him for wanting me to have a termination or he'll hate me for the limits he'll face in terms of his hobbies. I don't know how to stand up to him and say this is what I want without him getting upset etc. We live abroad and his package means we only get things paid for two kids. He's going to hate having to pay extra for school fees, medical and flights.

Lots of people say from 1 to 2 is the most brutal and after that it doesn’t matter, have to say I agree!

I have 3 boys aged 6,4 & 2, its fucking hard work!! 2 to 3 the hardest for me.

Two boys sorry!

Congrats OP, two to three will be fine.

I have three boys, 6, 3 and 4 months btw.

Yep 1 to 2 is hard, 2 to 3 easy.

Ours are 2,4&6. Great fun. They all adore each other, it did always feel like someone was missing until DC3 turned up.

I hope you get it sorted with your DH.

I am one of three and I’ve always thought it was great having 2 siblings. Thanks to them my daughter (currently an only child) has a load of cousins. However my boss is that bigger families are better, I just love the sense of belonging and the ‘clan’ mentality I guess. I also quite like the chaos of loads of kids together.

If I had met my husband earlier in life I would have had three. My daughter is now 5 and we are expecting no2 in July (fingers crossed all goes well). I’m 39 so don’t think we’ll be able to have another and PND made it impossible for me to have no2 any sooner.

I say just embrace it, a lovely full house at Christmas next year!

I have DS 7 and DTs, 3. It's difficult if you have lots of small ones with very small age gaps simply because you only have two hands. It can be difficult getting out and doing things and there are things like needing to factor in extra time for dressing and getting ready before you go out.

I guess your DC1 will be 5 when you have the baby. My eldest was similar when he became a brother, it's a good age because they start school and are becoming much more independent at that age so there will be less demand on you from that child, being able to dress etc.

A 2 year old and a new baby isn't bad either. A sling and single buggy for the first year and the next year get the toddler walking while the baby is still in their pram.

TBH, a lot of it is logistics based and if you're organised it doesn't have a huge impact. The difficult thing is making sure that all the kids get some one to one time.

I can't say I've ever come across anyone who regrets 3.

Boss = bias

I have heard different things from different people. Some say three is a breeze compared to going from 1 to 2 and others who really seem to struggle. The ones I know who found it difficult in the beginning are the ones who had small gaps between the three.

Weirdly though, the people I know who have small gaps and go on to have four seem to find that easy, so who knows?

Thank you for your kindness and messages.

I really want to keep it but I just feel I can't because he's not on the same page and he'll end up hating it all around him. He's intend that this will ruin him. He's worried things will go wrong with the baby and the whole family balance will be upset.

I found 1 to 2 easy. 0 - 1 was absolute hell. I'm wondering about 3. I am worried about the finances.

It's unfair for your husband to put that pressure on you. Are you prepared to go it alone?