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To be fuming

158 replies

Fuming123 · 07/12/2019 21:15

For a bit of back story a relative came by today with their kids to go out somewhere so they could play . Anyway it was all ok, kids had fun etc but this child in particular played up a bit as usual. Now tonight I've done my childs story and everything ready for bed, teeth etc. Went to put them in bed and what do I find?
The safety gate that was on so tight even I would have struggled to get it off has been yanked off literally. I noticed at 7 so I start trying to sort it out and it wouldn't go on nearly as tight or shut at all so was now unsafe. This gate had been left open all day and the kid in question went Into the room so it was definitely them as mine is small enough for stairs to still be a very real danger if they wake in the night. ( Do have a stairgate but don't feel right having no bedroom gate)
It would have taken no small amount of actually trying to yank it off to actually do it , and the fact they succeeded shows it was malicious intent.
So now I am fuming because of the risk to my child and the fact they even thought to do it ( for contexr they have a sibling of similar age to mine so should know better) . Now I am having to sit up stairs all night down the hall to make sure of their safety because I need the person who originally put the gate on to come and redo it which obviously they can't tonight at this time.
Luckily I always have a drink bottle upstairs but I haven't eaten my tea yet, and while I don't mind not having it if it means my child is safe it's besides the point.
I shouldn't be having to worry about my child's safety over the stairs if the kid hadn't yanked it off in the first place. To further more make me angry apparently I'm over reacting by been fuming and it's something all kids do!!

OP posts:

Am I being unreasonable?


You have one vote. All votes are anonymous.

saraclara · 07/12/2019 22:48

I should know better than to open a thread with the title 'To be fuming' and nothing else.

angelikacpickles · 07/12/2019 22:56

YABU and ridiculous.

UrsulaPandress · 07/12/2019 23:00

When you said you had a bottle I thought you meant wine.

Branster · 07/12/2019 23:01

How ‘malicious’ can a 10 year old be really about sabotaging the safety of your children?
I can understand you feel a bit annoyed that there has been some damage to your property which you admit is not the end of the world as it can be fixed. And I can understand you might have felt worried at the realisation that one of the gates has been unsecured without your knowledge with the potential that a little one might have used it. Obviously because you use gates, you rely on them as extra protection.
I wouldn’t think this is a situation that warrants the word ‘fuming’ though.
I never use gates and never had an incident. The kids should be OK over night.

strawberrieshortcake · 07/12/2019 23:02

It’s annoying he broke the stairs but ‘malicious intent’?? Do you genuinely honk the 10yo plotted to have your child fall of the stairs by purposefully ripping it off the wall.
Maybe they were just rough with it or ran into it accidentally?

Also as pp have said then make sure the stairs gate is on tight and go and eat.

Most people only have one gate and are perfectly fine.

Yes YABU to be fuming, you are being a martyr for not eating dinner for no reason.

strawberrieshortcake · 07/12/2019 23:03


PooWillyBumBum · 07/12/2019 23:04

I think you need a hobby

LolaDabestest · 07/12/2019 23:15

This is ridiculous my 2 year old can confidently walk down the stairs, if your child is old enough to sleep in their own room in their own bed then surely they don't need 2 pissing stair gates serious overkill. And if you don't trust the one on the stairs then what's the point of even having it there all a bit strange,

NoooorthonerMum · 07/12/2019 23:16

Like others I'd be annoyed they broke something of mine but the reaction on your part is OTT. There really is no need for a double baby gate protection barrier to protect your child.

Feelslikecrystal · 07/12/2019 23:21

3 kids here & never had a stair gate. What is the point of them really? Kids know not to just blindly step into the stairs, they still down & bum down. None of them ever fell down the stairs.

BenevolentEzza · 07/12/2019 23:33

Absolute batshit bullshit post 😂

Wtf is wrong with human beings these days? There seems to be a competition to be the most dicky, dopey, twattish, offensive, cuntish, thick, outlandish wanker online (and IRL actually...)

Stop the fucking world 😫

FrancisCrawford · 07/12/2019 23:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PyongyangKipperbang · 07/12/2019 23:40

I sort of get it as I am the person who is following someone elses kid on the stairs at work in case they fall (run a pub by the way, not day care :o ) I got the terrible willies about the kids on the stair, but......... one stair gate is enough. You are massively over thinking this if you are camping out on the landing and not eating your dinner.

Maybe try to rationalise your fears. Where are they from, what do you think will happen, what are the real chances of the worst happening? Given that you wake when he wakes, what are the chances of him getting out of his room, over the stair gate and pitching down the stairs? Not much I would say.

sauvignonblancplz · 07/12/2019 23:49

OP this can’t be real.
Love some of the responses though.
I’m guessing 27!Grin

IWorkAtTheCheesecakeFactory · 07/12/2019 23:55

Dear god.

If the stairgate on the stairs is so flimsy you don’t trust it to keep your child safe then what the point in having it? It’s pointless. It’s giving you a false sense of security. Take it off. Replace it with a sturdy one.

All this guff about needing a “near” professional (is that a close relative of a solicitor?) to install the gate- your child being a light sleeper who wakes up in intervals and is afraid of the landing causing you to starve on the floor overnight- the 10 year old knows none of this. The way you’re carrying on you’d think he deliberately sat pondering how to cause you as much grief as possible. The most likely scenario is that he was clumsy or too rough going through the gate and it got kicked off. If you- and adult woman- couldn’t take it off there’s no way a 10 year old could so it was clearly loose enough to start with- you just hadn’t noticed.

And finally- your child will be fine while you go down and grab some dinner. Don’t be a martyr all your life.

Purplecatshopaholic · 07/12/2019 23:57

Do you think OP is still camped out upstairs with her water bottle...?

MadeForThis · 07/12/2019 23:59

Wow. Just wow.

BenevolentEzza · 08/12/2019 00:00

@Purplecatshopaholic I'm so worried they've not had their tea ☹️

#possiblyoverinvested... 😬

NameChangedNoImagination · 08/12/2019 00:01

Minor annoyance. Get over it.

YouSawThePlans · 08/12/2019 00:22

If it took so much effort to 'break' it then how did a 10-yr-old manage to do it without making any noise and quickly enough that none of the adults noticed?
fwiw our community safety team advises that you shouldn't have a stair gate on stairs. DCs are more likely to fall/climb. Gates should be on doors. So if the door one is broken, just move the one from the stairs.

AndNoneForGretchenWieners · 08/12/2019 03:20

I'm a bit confused. Your child is a light sleeper and will freak out if he wakes and you aren't there immediately? So what has that got to do with the stairgate? If the gate on the bedroom door is there, surely they will still freak out if you aren't there, and it would in fact take you longer to get there because there are two obstacles not just the one? Do they literally never have to wait for you? Are you always in the immediate vicinity? I agree with others, you're a martyr.

AndNoneForGretchenWieners · 08/12/2019 03:26

Also - cable ties are your friend to secure the door part of the gate Wink

Oysterbabe · 08/12/2019 03:39

You're being ridiculous.

steff13 · 08/12/2019 05:28

Why are your walls moving? Is that a thing?

RichTwoTurkeyFriend · 08/12/2019 05:38

This is amazing 😂😂😂
OP probably hasn’t been back because they’ve passed out from starvation and exhaustion, standing at the broken gate with the commitment of a Queen’s guard.
My guess is the child is 13.

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