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AIBU?

To be fuming

158 replies

Fuming123 · 07/12/2019 21:15

For a bit of back story a relative came by today with their kids to go out somewhere so they could play . Anyway it was all ok, kids had fun etc but this child in particular played up a bit as usual. Now tonight I've done my childs story and everything ready for bed, teeth etc. Went to put them in bed and what do I find?
The safety gate that was on so tight even I would have struggled to get it off has been yanked off literally. I noticed at 7 so I start trying to sort it out and it wouldn't go on nearly as tight or shut at all so was now unsafe. This gate had been left open all day and the kid in question went Into the room so it was definitely them as mine is small enough for stairs to still be a very real danger if they wake in the night. ( Do have a stairgate but don't feel right having no bedroom gate)
It would have taken no small amount of actually trying to yank it off to actually do it , and the fact they succeeded shows it was malicious intent.
So now I am fuming because of the risk to my child and the fact they even thought to do it ( for contexr they have a sibling of similar age to mine so should know better) . Now I am having to sit up stairs all night down the hall to make sure of their safety because I need the person who originally put the gate on to come and redo it which obviously they can't tonight at this time.
Luckily I always have a drink bottle upstairs but I haven't eaten my tea yet, and while I don't mind not having it if it means my child is safe it's besides the point.
I shouldn't be having to worry about my child's safety over the stairs if the kid hadn't yanked it off in the first place. To further more make me angry apparently I'm over reacting by been fuming and it's something all kids do!!
Grrrrr

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Am I being unreasonable?

AIBU

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TrulyMadlyBeefly · 07/12/2019 21:56

OP have you considered a door? Also a child old enough to be in a bed really is old enough to know how to descend stairs unaided.

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Andysbestadventure · 07/12/2019 21:57

Fitting a pressure fit gate is not rocket science ffs. You can do it with your fingers!

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1Morewineplease · 07/12/2019 21:57

Why would you stay in your child’s room while he/she was sleeping? You say just in case the might get up and wander.
Is your child’s wandering a real safety issue?
Safety gates are notorious for coming loose , unless they’re bolted in, in which case the visiting child would not have been able to loosen it.

Why do you need to wait for someone to put it back on? They’re designed for anyone to fit.

I think you’re being dramatic.

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puds11 · 07/12/2019 21:57

A near professional baby gate fitter. Now there’s a job title!

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SomeHalfHumanCreatureThing · 07/12/2019 21:58

OK, apart from the fact that you're sitting upstairs because one of your two stsirgates is somehow compromised (not sure how, in all your wordy description it's somehow got lost).

You need this
www.johnlewis.com/babydan-guard-me-fold-baby-gate/p969110?sku=232682777&s_ppc=2dx92700046623966635&tmad=c&tmcampid=2&gclsrc=aw.ds&&gclid=CjwKCAiAuK3vBRBOEiwA1IMhuiFpRXS_MSPnUDZBJYFCqCmKSHDqcoCn4R21M2hK723pI2pZYFevlhoC1pEQAvD_BwE

Excellent in weird wonky corridors and doorways.

Now, stop blaming a 10yo.

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CustardOmlet · 07/12/2019 21:59

Perhaps your strange moving house is the reason the stair gate has come lose, the not a 10yr old who must have hulk like strength to remove a gate fitted by a “professional”. Get a grip.

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Fuming123 · 07/12/2019 21:59

Im in my room past my child's. Door is open so I can see. Think come time to sleep will have to put them next to me, good excuse for a cuddle The stairgate really does loosen over time because of the walls so I really don't feel secure having that as the only one . Unfortunately because of the walls it couldn't be screwed in eithee which would make me feel so much easier right now. I relied on the bedroom one for how secure it was .
As when I say it was open I mean it was open, the door part of the Safety gate was completely open. No need to even touch it to open it

OP posts:

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Spacerader · 07/12/2019 22:00

I think you are being a little dramatic. Go down stairs make sure the gate is tight on the stairs before you do. Just listen out, I’m sure you will here your child moving about.

I never had a gate on my children’s rooms. In fact I never had one on the top of the stairs either. When they were old enough to be in a bed and not a cot they were also pretty capable of navigating stairs, and there was never an accident.

I think you are being a little precious.

You haven’t said how old your child is?

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Morgan12 · 07/12/2019 22:01

Do you not think it would be ok to leave for 10mins and make a sandwich or something? Are you really going to sit in there the whole night?

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SweetAsSpice · 07/12/2019 22:01

Unless your child is the Hulk and can smash through things with ease, then sitting upstairs all night is frankly, fucking ridiculous. Have a word with yourself!

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SomeHalfHumanCreatureThing · 07/12/2019 22:01

What special walls do you have that mean you can't screw anything into them??

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Magpiefeather · 07/12/2019 22:02

Maybe this is a prompt to do some stair safety stuff with your child? Through the day get them used to the “rules” of how to walk up and down stairs safely. My Dd is 2.5 and can do stairs safely. We do still have a stair gate and I always still supervise from a few stairs down but I at least am confident she knows how to use the stairs.

Does your child’s room not have a door? Just close the door??! If they wake and open the door you’ve got that “warning” time before they even make it to the top of the stairs. Do you have a monitor?

I can imagine if your LO wakes up, makes it out of their room and you’re still not there, they’ll shout for you. Please say you had some dinner OP! You don’t need to camp outside their room! If you feel that strongly why don’t you just sleep on LOs floor?

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Freddiefox · 07/12/2019 22:03

You need to adjust the size of the door then surely, are you able to post a picture because it should be very easy to fix. You just need to spin the ends

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Teachermaths · 07/12/2019 22:04

If the stair gate loosens then just tighten it. Turn the bolts, it takes seconds.

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NerrSnerr · 07/12/2019 22:04

How old is your child?

You need to go and have tea. You'll hear them walking around and you can go up if they get up.

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QforCucumber · 07/12/2019 22:04

If the gate frame was so tightly and securely fitted then how on earth did you not hear a 10 year old pulling at it so much it came away? How old is your child?

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MissRabbitNeedsAHoliday · 07/12/2019 22:05

YANBU to be annoyed its broken but you are being very dramatic.
I honestly don't think it could have been as secure as you think it was if a 10 year old could break it without you hearing any sort of commotion.
Go and make a sandwich or something quick, with another gate there is no reason you cant pop downstairs for 10 minutes.

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yellowitsme · 07/12/2019 22:07

Can you not eat your dinner in your room?

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Greysparkles · 07/12/2019 22:07

Love how you won't say how old the DC is...

It's a pressure gate, just tighten the screw at both ends till the door fits back again?? It's not hard. Wonky walls don't matter as the screws... You know... Adjust.... Like they're supposed to

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Isawthathaggis · 07/12/2019 22:08

Your walls move? Like properly move?
What does your roof do when your walls move?
Or is your house leaning? Like Pisa?

Tomorrow OP teach your child to come down stairs safely on their tummy. Then get rid of all stair gates and get a structural engineer in to prop up your house.

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JaniceBattersby · 07/12/2019 22:09

If your walls are moving sufficiently that your stair gate regularly comes loose then I would recommend informing your insurance company. There is obviously something seriously wrong with the structure.

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SomeHalfHumanCreatureThing · 07/12/2019 22:09

Again, you need this.

babydan concertina stair gate

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ProperVexed · 07/12/2019 22:12

It would have taken no small amount of actually trying to yank it off to actually do it , and the fact they succeeded shows it was malicious intent
Brilliant legal mind, you have there, OP. But what do you the the malicious intent was directed towards? Damaging the gate or deliberately endangering your child? Is this criminal 10 year old guilty of attempt murder should your child get hurt? Do you think it was his intention that your child would get hurt? Or, wad he just a bit rough with the gate and damaged it.
Go and get your tea.

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Wildorchidz · 07/12/2019 22:13

Why are you not saying how old your child is?

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ProperVexed · 07/12/2019 22:14

Shall we have a sweepstake on the age of the child? I say 23.

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