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AIBU?

To be fuming

158 replies

Fuming123 · 07/12/2019 21:15

For a bit of back story a relative came by today with their kids to go out somewhere so they could play . Anyway it was all ok, kids had fun etc but this child in particular played up a bit as usual. Now tonight I've done my childs story and everything ready for bed, teeth etc. Went to put them in bed and what do I find?
The safety gate that was on so tight even I would have struggled to get it off has been yanked off literally. I noticed at 7 so I start trying to sort it out and it wouldn't go on nearly as tight or shut at all so was now unsafe. This gate had been left open all day and the kid in question went Into the room so it was definitely them as mine is small enough for stairs to still be a very real danger if they wake in the night. ( Do have a stairgate but don't feel right having no bedroom gate)
It would have taken no small amount of actually trying to yank it off to actually do it , and the fact they succeeded shows it was malicious intent.
So now I am fuming because of the risk to my child and the fact they even thought to do it ( for contexr they have a sibling of similar age to mine so should know better) . Now I am having to sit up stairs all night down the hall to make sure of their safety because I need the person who originally put the gate on to come and redo it which obviously they can't tonight at this time.
Luckily I always have a drink bottle upstairs but I haven't eaten my tea yet, and while I don't mind not having it if it means my child is safe it's besides the point.
I shouldn't be having to worry about my child's safety over the stairs if the kid hadn't yanked it off in the first place. To further more make me angry apparently I'm over reacting by been fuming and it's something all kids do!!
Grrrrr

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OneDay10 · 07/12/2019 21:35

What a martyr. Put him in with you in your bed for a night or two till you get sorted.

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negomi90 · 07/12/2019 21:35

It may have been an accident. The child was trying to get through and didn't know how and pulled the whole thing off instead of opening it.
If it was on as securely as you think was, then it would have taken time and effort to get off, and that's a failure of supervision on the adults parts.
Letting an unknown overtired child roam unsupervised in a house that isn't there's, is not a great idea.
A child wouldn't have thought about your child or the wider implications of removing the gate in relation to child safety.

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puds11 · 07/12/2019 21:38

How old is your child?

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rosegoldivy · 07/12/2019 21:38

I'm so confused. Why can't you go downstairs and quickly eat? What's the worst that's going to happen? DC wakes up and shouts for you?

Are you going to sleep outside their door in a sleeping bag?

Are you always a bit precious? (sorry but you are acting a bit precious)

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Passmethecrisps · 07/12/2019 21:39

You are not unreasonable to be cross about the gate being pulled off. That’s annoying.

Your comment about luckily having a water bottle and having no dinner is just a bit weird though. Can you genuinely not risk going down even for a few minutes without one of the two gates? If you don’t trust the gate on the stairs what is the point in having it at all?

It does sound a little like you are trying to justify being as angry as you are.

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Fuming123 · 07/12/2019 21:39

And for more information it's a very awkward door frame . Hard to explain but because of angles and measurements it takes ages to actually put them on and all sorts of tools I don't have. So it isn't as simple as putting a different gate on. Wish it was. It's why I'm so mad.
It took a near professional to get it on right and that tight it wouldnt move. As for the walls In this house they shift and cauae the stair gate to loosen over time so I'm always paranoid about it and having to retighten it but soon it's starting to loosen again.

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sweeneytoddsrazor · 07/12/2019 21:41

Perhaps you should live in a bungalow.

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Freddiefox · 07/12/2019 21:42

Your child will one day be a 10 year old boy, sometimes children do stupid things, they don’t think things through or think of the consequences, equally they don’t necessarily do thing to hurt others on purpose either.

I’m surprised the 10 year old is stronger than you though considering you are unable to move the gate but they were without anyone halearing anything.

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Teachermaths · 07/12/2019 21:42

Prep your daily mail sad face OP!

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NerrSnerr · 07/12/2019 21:42

How old is your child? Why not try without the door gate?

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Elieza · 07/12/2019 21:43

Padlock it shut and put the key on a chain round your neck? Use your suitcase padlock if you don’t have a bigger one? It may not work but trying to think what you can do just for tonight when you can’t get out to the shops to buy anything you need.

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Howlovely · 07/12/2019 21:43

I agree that you have every right to be cross about the damaged stair gate but everything else is a complete over reaction. You seem to be almost panic stricken because the gate on your child's door isn't fixed. It sounds as though it is there, it's just not as tight as you'd like it to be. If your son is used to having it there the chances are he won't start trying with all his strength to open it any way. He'll just wait for you to appear immediately like you normally do if he happens to wake up.
This seems a little bit ridiculous I'm afraid to say, OP. You are honestly considering camping outside your child's bedroom all night and starving yourself (but thank goodness you have the water bottle to save you having to drink from the toilet) because the gate across your child's room (who presumably is old enough to be in a bed) isn't as tightly screwed on as it used to be?
I really think you need to step back and reassess a few things here.

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Todaythiscouldbe · 07/12/2019 21:44

So are you going to stay awake all night?

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ScottishMummy12 · 07/12/2019 21:47

If you have a gate at the stairs why do you need to sit upstairs?

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RJnomore1 · 07/12/2019 21:47

This reminds me of an old thread about a poster who peed into a teddy bear because they couldn’t leave their child in case it woke.

Although on reflection it’s possible that was the pee troll I guess.

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GrannyBags · 07/12/2019 21:48

Can your lo sleep in your bed/room for a few nights until you get sorted? Or both sleep downstairs if you are that worried?

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RollOnNextYear · 07/12/2019 21:48

Wow you're being so over dramatic..
You do not need to sit in the hall just in case..
Or just shut the bedroom door? You have the stair one which would be absolutely fine

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HeckyPeck · 07/12/2019 21:49

YANBU to be annoyed that their child broke the gate.

Was it their parent who told you you were overreacting?

If were a parent of a child who broke something in a relative’s house I’d apologise profusely and offer to fix/pay for repairs/replace the item.

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ohtheholidays · 07/12/2019 21:49

I'd be pissed of to and what crap all children do it,no they don't.

I have 5DC and 2 of my DC are autistic and not one of them have ever damaged something like that and especially at 10 years old and in someone elses house,I'd be mortified if one of my DC had done that.

I understand you being worried about leaving them without the bedroom gate being on I've had friends that have had to do the same and if they hadn't even with a stair gate on they're DC would have ended up hurting themselves in the night.

Is there anyone else around that could sit upstairs for a while just so you can have something to eat?

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kmammamalto · 07/12/2019 21:52

Has anyone else noticed that like 99% of people who describe themselves as 'fuming' are usually being unreasonable?!

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Neverender · 07/12/2019 21:53

Are you going to sleep on the landing then?

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user1473878824 · 07/12/2019 21:53

don’t be such a bloody martyr

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TrainspottingWelsh · 07/12/2019 21:53

If you don't trust the catch on the stair gate just tie it up.
I live in a very old house with odd angles and lots of unlevel floors and walls. You still don't need a professional with specialist equipment to put a screw in a door frame well enough to last overnight.

Still don't see why you can't manage a night without it though. So what if dc wakes up? Isn't the whole idea that they eventually learn to go back to sleep alone, rather than finding mummy guarding a safety gate like grey friars bobby?

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Andysbestadventure · 07/12/2019 21:55

If it's pressure fit he's just messed with the washer/nut on the end while it's been open and no pressure holding it closed. Just pull one end out slightly and rotate the nut down the length again until the gate fits properly.

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BloggersBlog · 07/12/2019 21:56

Any kind of damage by another person's child is fecking annoying. At 10 they know what they are doing. YANBU

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