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Original poster

To think this is an odd Christmas present

287 replies

Moggymorn · 07/12/2019 13:09

I met up with a friend yesterday for lunch and we usually exchange small gifts, nothing fancy, up to about £20. For reference I got her a nice candle, a mug and some chocs. Just general little goodies.

She gave me a necklace, which is lovely, but it has the name of her daughter engraved on it. It's a lovely necklace and her daughter is lovely, and I'm sure it would be a lovely present for her... but surely it would make more sense to get my own kids names engraved on it?

It was a lovely necklace but I just don't understand! I'm only really posting as dh thinks she might of ordered that one for her and one with my own kids name on for me and got them the wrong way round and said to ask her. Or is this not as weird as it seems in my head?

OP posts:
dontgobaconmyheart · 08/12/2019 01:47

How bloody awkward for you OP. I think she's trying to deflect from what she's done (blatant regifting) by making you feel bad. I'd let it go as it's so ridiculous but she has made herself look a right tit.

OlaEliza · 08/12/2019 07:48

@Dinosn0re Isn’t it Chamilia at H Samuel @OlaEliza? It’s one of those words I always misread when I glance at it on advertisements and it makes me think of chlamydia

Yes! I knew I spelled it wrong.

PizzaExpressWoking · 08/12/2019 08:10

Anniegetyourgun and BeanTownNancy - thank you. You have made me cringe slightly less at the memory! (Still wish it had been a smaller photo, though!)

LotteLupin · 08/12/2019 12:32

OP, don't worry - you are totally normal and a sweet person not wanting to upset your friend, but also being a bit puzzled.

Because yes, it's a totally weird idea to give you a necklace with her kid's name on it. Especially when she knows you have your own baby a month younger than hers.

It's bonkers - and then to pressurise you a bit by saying effectively one of her other adopted mothers/aunties will appreciate it and clearly love her/the friend more. That bit isn't nice.

Personally I'd step back a bit. It shows an odd perspective on her part. And you and your baby are not equal here. It's all about her.

Maybe it indicates underlying insecurity and trying to surround her baby with love. But still, I'm not keen on ring emotionally manoeuvred and given no options so I'd step back.

And I wouldn't wear the necklace. I'd keep it as a keepsake.

LotteLupin · 08/12/2019 12:33

And yeah tbh I think there's a high chance also that it's a re-gift ...

Themazeoflife · 08/12/2019 12:39

You could of said, it looked more expensive that the agreed price limit amount and that's why you were worried it may not of been for you.

Honeyroar · 08/12/2019 12:49

I doubt very much that it’s a regift- she just thinks her baby is soo amazing that all her friends must do too, and that they’d adore prancing round with her name round their necks! It’s an awful gift, bloody rude really! She’s probably bought all the aunties one already anyway.

You do realise that you’re going to be expected to wear it next time you meet and that next year you’ll be getting a t shirt that says “my favourite little girl is Amy” or whatever her name is!

Thuglife · 08/12/2019 12:50

This is so funny Grin. I was bonkers when DD was my beloved first born but knew that lesser mortals could not comprehend her loveliness Grin.
I have friends who not only gifted me a massive wedding album of their wedding but also send me annual photo calendars of their PFB.
He’s lovely but why oh why would anyone think I want this Grin.
Hopefully she’ll look back on this and cringe.

SmileyClare · 08/12/2019 13:01

These things happen. A friend of mine gave all her friends a homemade snow globe with a photo of her pfb inside. We all just accepted it with thanks, to be fair it must have taken her ages to do!

Warning; It's only recently become safe to laugh about it with her now her son is 17 Grin

OrangeZog · 08/12/2019 13:08

She’s either ridiculously self absorbed or else she is lying! Even in my most PFB moments there is no way I would ever have thought anyone, let alone someone with children of their own, would want a necklace with my child’s name engraved on it. I still think she regifted because she was unaware of the engraving, and is now being a bit off because she is embarrassed at being caught out.

readingismycardio · 08/12/2019 14:09

Yeah, of course she's offended, because why wouldn't a random friend want to wear a necklace with your child name on it. Only image people asking: "so who's xx?" And you'd be like, "oh, a friend's DD".

If she didn't have the cash she could have just said it. Not let her friend spend £20 & just regift a random crap.

YouretheChristmasCarcass · 08/12/2019 14:14

Oh lordy, can you just imagine all the 'competitive parenting' that OP is going to be subjected to in the future? No child of OP's is going to have done XYZ sooner or better than Friend's child.

Blondeshavemorefun · 08/12/2019 14:29

Totally weird

Why would I want to wear a necklace with my friends child’s name on it

Why would I want my friend to wear a necklace with my daughters name on it

SmileyClare · 08/12/2019 14:48

Agree it's weird. Particularly if you have your own children.

It seems insulting to them to wear a necklace with one of your own child's name on, let alone a friend's child!

Rezie · 08/12/2019 15:08

I still think she regifted the jewlery and didn't notice the name and is now trying to save face.

Keepmewarm · 08/12/2019 16:03

Please get her a tshirt with a big photo of your little one on.

Lunde · 08/12/2019 17:07

Was the necklace boxed with the name engraved on the back of the piece? She may not have taken it out before deciding to regift and now she is flustered and defensive to have been called on it.

PlumsGalore · 08/12/2019 17:52

It’s absolutely not a mistake, this is her PFB and she has yet to realise that you don't share the same love and adoration for her baby as she does.

Say nothing.

Jack80 · 08/12/2019 17:54

I would say the necklace states another persons name and was wondering if it was given you by mistake

Nonnymum · 08/12/2019 17:57

I was about to say she has probably given it to you by mistake and it's meant for her daughter then I saw your update. Its a reasonable assumption to make. Its an odd present I don't think you should feel bad for asking her.

neveradullmoment99 · 08/12/2019 18:11

Nah...she isnt batshit. She has regifted and doesnt want to admit it. No way is that normal!

BennyTheBall · 08/12/2019 18:31

That is seriously odd. She must be hormental.

user1471590586 · 08/12/2019 18:33

Well you need to get her a necklace with your child's name engraved on it in return.

TammyKat · 08/12/2019 18:35

This is so weird. The only person I’d consider giving a necklace with my DC’s names on would be my DM

pinkstripeycat · 08/12/2019 18:39

My DS was 6 weeks old on his 1st Christmas. DH were going to give both sets of grandparents (our parents) a framed photo of DS. My SIL told us b4 Christmas Day that she was going to give us and her (and DH) parents a framed pic of OUR newborn son!! I was annoyed, pissed off and weirded out. It was a MASSIVE photo aswell

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