To think this is an odd Christmas present

[Moggymorn]

I met up with a friend yesterday for lunch and we usually exchange small gifts, nothing fancy, up to about £20. For reference I got her a nice candle, a mug and some chocs. Just general little goodies.

She gave me a necklace, which is lovely, but it has the name of her daughter engraved on it. It's a lovely necklace and her daughter is lovely, and I'm sure it would be a lovely present for her... but surely it would make more sense to get my own kids names engraved on it?

It was a lovely necklace but I just don't understand! I'm only really posting as dh thinks she might of ordered that one for her and one with my own kids name on for me and got them the wrong way round and said to ask her. Or is this not as weird as it seems in my head?

That is so werid and hilarious!! You cant wear it because people will wonder who x is?! It would make me think of a miscarriage/stillborn. I'd also wonder why you didn't have your childs name on it too?! Is it gold/silver? If so, you can sell it to a jewellers and spend the money on something else?

Sounds like she has recycled it tome and not realised her child’s name is on it

It's a shame your friend is upset but it's best to nip this thing in the bud now in case you end up with another 18 years of gifts like these
Madness to think that your friends are going to be so invested in your kids that they want a necklace with their name on.
Even worse given that you have a baby yourself who is only one month younger. Who is so self obsessed they think you would rather wear their child's name then the name of your own child.

This is batshit. I wouldn't wear jewellery with my own kids names on it.
You're getting a MASSIVE baby pic canvas if you don't nip this in the bud, pronto. Seriously.

The thing is, she cant admit it to you for fear of you judging her as a cheapskate. In truth, many regift including me. She has made an error and she didnt know it was engraved. Her dd has lost out. She must feel like an idiot.

Re-gift it back to her (or her ofb) for their birthday or next christmas.

Or if its gold or silver sell it to a jeweller to melt down

Oops her pfb

Just leave it - at least it’s got you thinking - your gift was a tad impersonal so one extreme to the other!

I really don't think it's a re-gift. I think she's still at that (lovely!) PFB stage of thinking her baby is the total centre of the universe and tried to give a gift that reflects the importance of OP's relationship as an "auntie" of her DD.

Obviously she will look back and cringe, but I can totally see the thinking.

I hope your friend isn’t on mumsnet 😬

Noone can be that blinkered thinking they have PFB. No way!

I don’t think it’s a re-gift because when asked about it she could have easily said she’d bought two necklaces and given you the wrong one by mistake (then gone out and bought a cheap necklace to give you), which is arguably much saner and less weird than pretending you meant to give a friend a necklace with your own child’s name on.

But @Babybel90, she might not be good at thinking fast. That is pretty cunning :)

That's hilariously awful.

I'm hoping she somehow clarifies her thought process. That perhaps being the child's "auntie" (as in, friend-of-her-mother) is a relationship just as special as the one you have with your son.

Hmmmmm I wonder if you might have problems with her in future thinking her dc is the centre of the universe

Don't feel bad, it could well have been a mix up and it's a dreadful gift to give a friend especially who has a DC of a similar age.

This is weirdly hilarious! Sorry OP :( I adore my various friends' children, but I'd be unlikely to wear jewellery with my own name or my cats names on... So someone else's children's name would just be weird. More so as you have your own baby!

Having said that, maybe she was trying to show how much she values your presence in her child's life?!

Also why does everyone look down on regifting? I do it if the gift is more appropriate for someone else than for me!

I think she thought you would like it as a memento of her child. Extremely weird but sort of thing people do. Also a bit pass agg.

There’s nowt so queer as folk eh? Seriously, I wouldn’t even wear something with either of my DCs names on - unless one of them gave it to me. Lidders... they’re everywhere 😂

I've read your responses @Moggymorn and this is definitely a strange gift. It's really not the done thing.

I'm sure she's lovely but she clearly thinks everyone is as in love with her child as she is. It's not the biggest crime in the world and I'm sure her DC is lovely but it's just not appropriate.

This type of self obsessed behaviour seems to be on the rise though. I recieved a thank you card from someone whose wedding I went to. It was a generic thank you, not mentioning the gift with a super stylized picture of the bride and groom on the front (think pretend lovestruck pose with lots of filtering). Not offensive granted, but very vain and completely wasted on me.

definitely wasn't trying to be mean. Just thought she'd bought two with both our dcs name on and got them muddled

This is exactly what you can say to her if she’s off with you about it.

Its a bloody weird present to give someone. You were right to check, because why the hell would anyone give someone a gift like that?!

You’ve done nothing wrong! I’d think it was very odd to be given jewellery personalised with a name of a child that wasn’t mine!

Omg!

'I really don't want to say this but the cynic in me thinks that she has regifted a necklace she has been given as a gift and she doesn't like'

This. And the somewhat frosty response is because she's mortified at being caught out and hasn't a sharp enough spade to dig herself out of the hole

@Putyourdamnshoeson And how horrible would that be if you did get given a huge canvas of someone else's kid? Yes, bad. You'd have to have a "terrible issue with damp" to explain how it got damaged and couldn't be shown.