to think you ask before deciding to share a table with someone?

[M3lon]

I'm not very sociable, so I may be wrong, but if there were no tables free and you saw someone sitting on their own at a 4 seater, would you ask them if you could sit there, or just sit down and pointedly ignore them?

I'd have said yes if they asked......

If there are no free tables, I go elsewhere. It's not the same as a work canteen.

"I don't think it's OK for one person to commandeer four seats when others have nowhere to sit."

It's first come first served. If I arrive before you or bagsy the table before you, the table is mine. It wouldn't be my fault if no smaller tables were available.

It's peculiar not to ask
But if you didn't need the seats, not in this case, a problem

But it is also rude for one person to hog a whole table, and decline to share, if someone needs to sit and eat, and there is not enough space elsewhere. See also double seats on trains etc.

Am laughing OP at your danger statement!

Alternatively, 'oh gosh, you didn't just sit in that puddle did you? I'm afraid that my nan's just had a slight accident and I was waiting for the waitress to attend with a cloth'

I'd definitely ask, only rude fuckers wouldn't at least ask.

@Cherry4weans aww I like stories like that.

YABU because in a cafe you shouldn't 'keep' a table until you have got your food. It's annoying having a tray of hot drinks/food and then not being able to get a table because of people 'keeping' them.

We were having breakfast in a hotel and someone pulled out the chair and went to sit down opposite me without a word. DH & the DCs had gone to get their cooked food.

She was a bit shocked when I said that the chair wasn't free. (despite the extra cups, plates and general detrius on the table).

I'd always ask first in case the person seated was expecting friends or in case the rest of the party were in the loo, at the counter etc. It's just basic good manners.

If it was busy and all other tables were full, I'd ask but I'd be in the process of setting my stuff down and pulling out my chair as I asked! Asking would be a token gesture and I wouldn't expect to be refused unless your companions were in the loo etc.

Someone once asked me 'Could I sit with you if these seats aren't taken? I don't want to look like a pathetic loner' I raised my eyebrows and answered 'What? You mean like me...' before starting to giggle. She realised what she said and we ended up the best of friends.

Nah, Ijust sit down, no such thing as reserving seats.

I'd ask if the seats were being used but if not i wouldn't ask if it was ok to sit there. People like @Gwenhwyfar who expect exclusive use of large tables because they were there first are rude.

I was recently in a hospital cafeteria that was so busy people were just sitting everywhere. I’m 6 months pregnant and require a tiny bit of personal space. The only seats left were those long communal tables - no issue I sat right up to the end/window and put my small jacket beside me to avoid being elbowed. Coloured seat pads indicated ‘one person’ places but I’m quite thin due to illness - me + small jacket = easily fitting on my sear pad.

DH sat opposite and large group filled rest of table. A guy (well built) taps me on the shoulder and asks me to move my jacket so he can sit down to join the group- YES he wanted to sit in the 10 Cm space of my own seat that my jacket was in!

I flatly said no and pointed out he was asking me to share a single chair with him and there wasn’t a chance he’d fit in a 10cm gap EP was obviously expecting me to absoloutley cram my pregnant unwell self into the window to give him my chair! He looked embarrassed and left. So he should have been!

Would you walk up to a pregnant woman on a normal chair and ask to share it with them?

Weirdos

CFers!

Although not as bad as the CFers who take tables before being served in busy cafes, so people who've now been served and are holding trays of food/drink can't sit down.

@Cherry4weans and @cantfindname those are the best stories❤️ I always wish things like that would happen to me but then I'm anti social and don't speak haha!

I think definitely ask. Although I was in a packed Pret A Manger recently and two women were commandeering a table of 6. Every few minutes someone would ask if the seats were taken and they said yes. About half a hour later the rest of their party showed up in hindsight I should've just sat down with them and said I'd move if and when their pals actually arrived

And you had three seats available at your table . I'd assume that the three seats were free, and sit down without asking.

A person who’s not afraid of a public show down! 🔫

Although not as bad as the CFers who take tables before being served in busy cafes, so people who've now been served and are holding trays of food/drink can't sit down.

I worked in a fast food chain as a student and was tasked with telling the table “reservers” to shift it, since they seemed to ignore the multiple signs up everywhere.

That was fun.

I think it's rude not to offer if you can see folks hovering looking for seats

It's quite hard to ask someone who is pointedly not looking about so as to blank off any advances and hog a table of four

Not saying you were doing that OP but you see it quite a lot on trains too.

I would ask if the seats were free for sure.

I think if you're not very sociable, cafes are a bit of a nightmare, especially small ones. I don't like the close proximity of the tables in these places let alone someone sat on your table! This is why I don't like places to eat, restaurants with canteen style long tables where you get to sit next to strangers. Even worse, is having to sit next to parents that explain everything in great detail to their child, makes me feel extra inadequate as a parent and slightly competitive if my children are with me so it brings out the worst in me. You can't talk about anything that is private and I don't know why I am paying to feel so uncomfortable.

Very impolite behavior!

Sometimes there are in cafes big tables available that are available for the use of everyone (often recognizeable by the huge size, location often in the center of the seating area and also very often magazines on it to read whilst you are eating).

I would never ever expect someone I didn’t know to share a table with me and I would certainly refuse to let a stranger join my table. Anyone who sat themselves at my table uninvited would be immediately asked to leave. I am 100% certain I would receive the same response if I did something like that to others. I am not from the UK and where I come from this kind of thing is absolutely ‘not done’.

I remember a few years back staying in a posh hotel in Germany and when me and my mother wanted to have breakfast, we were forced to share a table with 2 strangers. I left a review on Trip Advisor to share this experience (honestly there had happened a few other strange things as well) and was promptly contacted by the hotel manager to apologize for the inconvenience. I asked him how he was going to make up to me for the inconvenience and got a voucher for a 1 night for free stay

Sorry 'extra inadequate' is oxymoron.

@Butchtrestingface yes, I'll bet they loved you!

The CFers don't think they're doing anything wrong, do they.

I went into a McDonald's at lunchtime last week just to get a coffee to go - very busy business area with no other outlets nearby - and that scenario was being played out as I waited to be served.

2 women and a man with 7 young kids between them had taken a full row of seats at a long bench whilst another CF with them was at the back of the queue to be served. There were at least 4 people already served who were waiting to be seated.

Manager came out and made the CFers move, much to their chagrin and some vile language from queuing CF.

I think it's rude not to offer if you can see folks hovering looking for seats

Tbh, I think I’d probably get up and leave in that situation.

The big long style tables, you know what you’re in for when you sit at one of those and adjust your mindset accordingly.

But if I go to a cafe whether to drink or eat, I expect a table to myself and don’t want to be encroached on by strangers sitting at my table. It would absolutely spoil my enjoyment of my drink/meal and negate the point of being there.

At the same time, I wouldn’t sit at a 4 seater in a busy cafe if there was a 2 seater available, and would happily move to a 2 seater that became available to allow 4 people to have the table I was sitting at.

While I don't think it's a big deal, I think it's normally the done thing to ask. You could be waiting for someone, after all.

Id ask unless i was seated by the staff

There's a Chinese place i go to where if you're sitting alone then they fill your table up with other singles or small groups.

If i was seating myself I'd ask if it was okay