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Original poster

How do I tell work about my period? (Quick help needed)

150 replies

limecello · 06/12/2019 09:30

I started my period during the night and honestly, I must be having the worst period of my iife - the first day is always bad but not usually to this extent. My muscle walls in my bum and lower back are periodically cramping (every 10 mins) so violently it's actually made me scream out loud. I've also been sick (sometimes happens) which has given me a bloody awful headache. Still retching but luckily I didn't eat much last night due to nausea.

I was hoping to pull myself together and get into work for 10...not happened. I've been up since 5 and don't know what to do.

I've just started working for a big company and am literally the only woman on my team (hardly any in my dept either) - I don't know if I feel comfortable telling my boss I'm having period pain. I don't want to use my period as an excuse I'm genuinely suffering.

Please advise what you would do.

OP posts:
ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 06/12/2019 11:02

Spacebowl
Buscopan the IBS medication is with trying for the muscle spasms (assuming you can take it). You can buy it OTC. Do push your GP. My saviour was the mini pill cerazette / ceriel in the end.

NotMeNoNo · 06/12/2019 11:09

If it's a big company, call HR (more likely to be a female or at least not in your team) and explain. They can explain to your boss. Say this has caught you by surprise this month, but you are going to see your GP about getting some better medication to get it under control in future. Also check whether you have an Employee Assistance programme that can offer anything extra. Please don't pretend it's a different illness, because if it turns out to be a long term thing you can point to your time off and say I have exceptional period problems which I'm doing my best to manage.

Someone who works for me suffers with her periods, but she works very hard the rest of the time, often late, and gives 100% to her work. I know she's not timewasting if she has the odd half day sick. If she was a clock watcher it might be different.

I'm on my fifth day off sick with a cold/flu at the moment and even MN is swimming in front of my eyes, there is not much you can do about that.

I work in a mostly male environment, the majority of guys have partners/sisters and are familiar with menstruation, you might as well be direct and say you have the killer period pain from hell and are maxing out on co-codamol, but expect to be back in tomorrow. I don't think it does any favours to be vague.

andpancakesforbreakfast · 06/12/2019 11:09

Don't go into details, but do tell the truth: you are so unwell you are booking an appointment urgently with GP and will go from there.

VioletCharlotte · 06/12/2019 11:09

Do you have an HR team where you work? If you think this could happen fairly regularly, I would have a chat with them about it and explain you're too embarrassed to speak to your male manager. It depends what your organisation is like, but I know we would put measures in place to support you - late start, work from home, etc.

P1nkHeartLovesCake · 06/12/2019 11:13

In all honesly I wouldn’t even want to tell a woman it was because of my period. It’s just a bit too personal for me, I know I’m weird but that’s how I feel.

I’d just say I seem to Have a sickness bug, it’s not really a lie as you are being sick....

Is this a regular thing with your period? Have you seen a doctor? As you can’t be taking time off regularly each month

reallyrandomwords · 06/12/2019 11:16

Genuinely if it's significantly worse than usual you need to get checked out

QueSera · 06/12/2019 11:17

How often do you have periods unpleasant enough to miss work? If it's frequent, perhaps see your GP to see if anything can be done to help? I used to get debilitating migraines, doctor switched me to a pill that virtually eliminates periods, truly life-changing.
With the cold, could you not have taken cold medication and gone in?

Sorry I'm not saying that you should work through illnesses - just sensing that missing work is causing you anxiety and thinking of ways to avoid it.

Original poster
limecello · 06/12/2019 11:19

This may sound weird but painful periods always make me think of women in undeveloped countries who don't have access to pain medication/sanpro. Just being in a comfortable bed in a warm house close to a bathroom is such a blessing - def takes the edge off the misery.

OP posts:
Cherrysoup · 06/12/2019 11:20

Mirena solved all issues for me.

Screaming with pain?

Are you normally quite anxious? Perhaps tackle that. Taking a day off work, unless their sickness policy is horrendously strict, should not cause anxiety (says the teacher who agonises with guilt every time she’s off!)

Original poster
limecello · 06/12/2019 11:22

Yes I'm very anxious right now due to missing work. I'm often in pain, more than my sister and mum experience but I am normally able to make it into work with the help of co-codamol. I"m never able to socialise when on periods though.

OP posts:
Original poster
limecello · 06/12/2019 11:22

I have been diagnosed with anxiety and depression

OP posts:
KaleidoscopeEyes · 06/12/2019 11:26

Another vote for Buscopan, I only take it when I'm on my period, it's a game changer.

SheOfManyNames · 06/12/2019 11:26

It's way gone 10, but say you are sick and can't come in, no further explanation needed. And then make a GP appointment, because thats not normal and you don't need to suffer like that.

Drum2018 · 06/12/2019 11:28

I assume you are young if this is your first job from uni. Do you really want to suffer like this every month? Surely something can be done. Make sure you go to your gp soon. You don't have to go when you have your period. Go anytime and insist that they take you seriously. Pain killers are not enough in your situation. You need something to ease the bleeding too. The mirena works wonders for some people. Go to gp before next period and hopefully you won't have to suffer much longer.

BlaueLagune · 06/12/2019 11:30

Some colds ARE bad enough to miss work. I missed a day last year even though I work from home, I felt to bad. Had I not been working from home, I'd probably have had the whole week off, it was that bad. It was the first day I'd had off sick in 5 years.

And company procedures vary in relation to reporting sickness. Some want a phone call, some are happy with an email or text, some even happy with a message in the whatsapp group!

OP please make an appointment. Even if they can't see you until after Christmas (likely) you have got the ball rolling.

Mishappening · 06/12/2019 11:32

I would just say what the problem is. The male gang will just have to get used to it.

Bittersweetlifeofmine · 06/12/2019 11:34

I thought bad periods were no longer an issue as you can take contraceptives that make them stop completely. I’m obviously either completely ignorant or op you should go and discuss your options with your gp.

Hellbentwellwent · 06/12/2019 11:37

Limecello please make an appointment to see your gp about this, query endometriosis and ask for a referral to a gynaecologist but be warned that not all gynaes are well trained in endo, if you can get a referral to a bsge endo specialist then do it.

I spent all my 20s suffering and being fobbed off by various doctors, was chronically anaemic for years but told that periods were supposed to be heavy and painful, which is bollocks, they’re not supposed to impact your life like this. I was finally diagnosed due to fertility investigations in my early 30s by which point I had extensive stage 4 endo, it had been allowed to progress, but with early treatment you can slow its progression and relive yourself of the debilitating pain and protect your fertility.

Please Please seek medical advice to hopefully at least rule it out. Other options are things like fibroids, which are relatively easily treated. Either way there’s no need to suffer on like this.

SinkGirl · 06/12/2019 11:38

I thought bad periods were no longer an issue as you can take contraceptives that make them stop completely

If this were the case I wouldn’t have needed six surgeries for endometriosis between the ages of 22 and 23, as I was on either the pill or some other hormonal contraceptive for that entire period (and the 9 years previously). It’s not necessarily as straightforward as just taking contraception.

raspberryk · 06/12/2019 11:41

Get to the doctor! Don't lie but no need to give them the gory details either.

Original poster
limecello · 06/12/2019 11:41

My mum had fertility issues (I'm IVF) and she says the dr's suspected she had endo but this was never confirmed.

When I was 17 I did complain about painful periods and was put on yasmin which never agreed with me.

OP posts:
Bittersweetlifeofmine · 06/12/2019 11:41

Sinkgirl

So were you using the contraceptives that stop periods and it just didn’t work for you? Or were you unable to take those types due to side effects? (I’m genuinely interested as I thought those advances that solved many women’s period issues)

Original poster
limecello · 06/12/2019 11:42

My boss hasn't responded which is really worrying me.

OP posts:
Hellbentwellwent · 06/12/2019 11:43

sinkgirl Flowers sorry you’ve suffered similarly with endo it’s a shit of a disease and honestly peoples attitude like bittersweet are one of the reasons it takes so long to get a diagnosis, average wait for a diagnosis is in the region of 7 -10 years in the U.K.

Hellbentwellwent · 06/12/2019 11:44

Limecello, have you called yet? I know it’s hard when you’re in pain and anxious but maybe a phone call would be better placed than worrying at home about no response to emails.