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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

How do I tell work about my period? (Quick help needed)

150 replies

limecello · 06/12/2019 09:30

I started my period during the night and honestly, I must be having the worst period of my iife - the first day is always bad but not usually to this extent. My muscle walls in my bum and lower back are periodically cramping (every 10 mins) so violently it's actually made me scream out loud. I've also been sick (sometimes happens) which has given me a bloody awful headache. Still retching but luckily I didn't eat much last night due to nausea.

I was hoping to pull myself together and get into work for 10...not happened. I've been up since 5 and don't know what to do.

I've just started working for a big company and am literally the only woman on my team (hardly any in my dept either) - I don't know if I feel comfortable telling my boss I'm having period pain. I don't want to use my period as an excuse I'm genuinely suffering.

Please advise what you would do.

OP posts:
PotteringAlong · 06/12/2019 10:02

Tell them you’ve been sick. And next time you’ve got a cold go to work.

SinkGirl · 06/12/2019 10:02

Don’t say norovirus - in my experience if you do that you’ll come down with norovirus the next week!

I have endo and I would always just say gynae problems and associated symptoms. It’s rare that anyone asks for more info.

Please see a GP - this is not normal and should be investigated

MilkTrayLimeBarrel · 06/12/2019 10:03

The phrase 'women's problems' normally has men quaking in their boots!!

puds11 · 06/12/2019 10:04

This is the time of year people get sick. Also if you tell them the real reason there is no reason why they wouldn’t think that’s made up IYSWIM

5zeds · 06/12/2019 10:04

You aren’t a Dr (presumably) and you can’t diagnose for this, so call in saying you are ill, and go to the Dr. The solution may be a simple as going on the pill and presumably you’d rather not experience this once a month?

Lulualla · 06/12/2019 10:05

The problem is, you can lie about it this time. But it sounds like a regular thing? That's going to end up being a problem. Go and see your GP.

Grafittiqueen · 06/12/2019 10:05

If you work in an all male environment than definitely don't tell them it's gynae issues or a bad period.

Tell them you have D&V

limecello · 06/12/2019 10:05

I really couldn't go to work with the cold - I was sneezing all over the place and disgustingly phlegmy. Would have grossed people out.

I've emailed and said I was sick during the night. Feel insanely anxious for some reason like I've done something wrong.

OP posts:
Pinkblueberry · 06/12/2019 10:06

Why do you need to give details? Just say you’re not well and can’t come in.

PuppyMonkey · 06/12/2019 10:08

I’d go and see a GP about your symptoms OP, surely they can give something to help.

And just tell boss you’ve thrown up so can’t come into work today.

Lulualla · 06/12/2019 10:08

You've emailed? Is that company policy? Moet policies state that you need to phone within a certain time. Is emailing allowed for taking a sick day?

You've said this is your first job out of uni. People dont call in sick with a cold. It would be better if everyone did because no one likes working alongside a sneezey person, but people dont stay off with colds. It makes you look bad, and eats into your sick time. If you stay off everytime you're a little under the weather the you'll find yourself with a disciplinary.

limecello · 06/12/2019 10:08

I often have painful/heavy periods (PCOS) but not normally this intense. The first day of my job I was flooding my tampons and pads but still could manage to work.

OP posts:
Pilcrow · 06/12/2019 10:11

You’re ill, OP - just tell them that. You wouldn’t be able to function in the workplace. I’m sorry you feel so terrible. I too suffered from endometriosis and the cramping you describe sounds suspiciously familiar.

Please do see your GP as soon as you can because you shouldn’t be in this degree of pain with a normal period. Don’t be talked into thinking it’s something you ‘just have to put up with’, like I was for decades. Women are often treated very dismissively when it comes to gynaecological health.

Sistercharlie · 06/12/2019 10:12

As a former sufferer I have every sympathy with you op and hope you feel much better very soon Flowers. I remember those mornings wondering whether I was going to faint on the tube or not, or having to phone in sick. It's really grim. As is the feeling of letting everyone down. And because period pain isn't seen as "legitimate" pain in some people's eyes - even when extreme - it makes the situation even worse!

Do go to the gp about the extreme pain though, because endo can take years to diagnose.

Gah, isn't it awful that women are still going through this situation at work though in 2019? Unable to talk about genuine suffering that is not in any way their fault. The journalist Emma - forgotten her surname - ?? (Radio 5 ) addressed this issue in her recent book. Who says we have achieved equality?

Op I'm tempted to encourage you to say straight out to the all male team that you are having a period from hell but I know it's not that simple , or easy!

Sorry for hi-jack but this makes me so angry - hope your work are decent about it op - and you can take some painkillers and go back to bed with a hot water bottle and rest! Brew Flowers

Nighttimenope · 06/12/2019 10:12

Glad you have emailed but perhaps you need to call, some workplaces require a phone call?
Let me ask you this- do you think a single one of your male colleagues/bosses would contemplate going in to work if their internal organs were causing so much pain that they were vomiting and crying out?
Nope. Nope-ity nope nope nope. Take pain killers, try to see a doctor as they can prescribe stronger ones and need to investigate this if you aren’t already seeing to it, and get a hot water bottle and assume fetal position. This is grim and it will pass but you can’t help it. Flowers

Smotheroffive · 06/12/2019 10:14

You are genuinely very ill.

This is not something to feel bad about.

You are obviously a very honest person, and just starting out, but its perfectly fine to manage your own pr Wink and protect your interests.

You've been honest and I'm sure they'll know you're keen and hardworking. As long as you're effective and fitting in you will have no worries.

Its winter, stuff is going round and staff get sick.

However, this needs sorting for you urgently. Make an urgent gp appt to start a referral if necessary. Don't accept this much pain. Your poor body, and coping with it all. Flowers

Relax and look after yourself. It may be that its the additional pressures of a new role that are exacerbating your already acute symptoms. Rest well.

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 06/12/2019 10:16

Either gynae problems or tell them you’ve got horrific stomach cramps which is sort of true.

Then do a couple of things:-

  1. Make a GP appointment and insist on a referral to a gynaecologist. This is not normal and there are options. For me cerazette and later the Mirena coil have helped hugely with the pain
  1. Buscopan is an OTC antispasmodic usually sold for stomach cramps or IBS - take it if you are able to do so (no contraindications)

3.Some pharmacies sell Naproxen OTC (Feminax ultra for example) which is stronger than ibuprofen. It can cause gastric irritation in some people (me) and again check contra indications

  1. Have you made the GP appointment yet?
  1. It helps with the pain if you can start taking the NSAID just before your period starts so the build up of pain messengers reduces. It can also make your periods lighter.
peachesforfree · 06/12/2019 10:16

Speak to HR about it - I had to do this and said that I didn't want my male bosses to know the detail. You should then go to the doctor and ask for a check up from a gynae. Do not underplay your symptoms and the pain you are in. Fortunately there is now greater awareness of issues such as endometriosis, which you may have, and your doctor should be a bit more clued up than when I went with this issue 15 years ago :-/

Greenglassteacup · 06/12/2019 10:18

I think you need to call in though rather than email

Alrighteo · 06/12/2019 10:19

I'd ring in. Most companies now require a phonecall.

Astrabees · 06/12/2019 10:20

Please don't be untruthful, if you say it's Norovirus and they you really get Norovirus it might be a bit difficult for you. the logical thing to say is that you have a painful gynaecological problem and then go to see your doctor to get some effective treatment for next month. As a female with HR responsibilities I find that my staff generally go into a lot of detail with this subject so I know they are serious and genuine. You just need to be accurate but they really don't need to know TMI.

Kanga83 · 06/12/2019 10:20

Take the day off, Gynae issues is all they need. Book to see a dr and ask for a referral for a scan. I too had PCOS and after three periods like what you've described was told I had a fibroid along with endometriosis (which I knew from fertility treatment).

YouSawThePlans · 06/12/2019 10:20

Make an appointment with your GP. It's not usual to miss work because of a period.

But tbh it's not normal to miss work because of a cold either. It sounds as though you're not committed to this job.

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 06/12/2019 10:22

X post

If you have very heavy periods speak to your GP about Tranexamic Acid

www.nhs.uk/conditions/heavy-periods/treatment/

thedevilinablackdress · 06/12/2019 10:22

Stop feeling guilty. People get sick.