How do I tell work about my period? (Quick help needed)

[limecello]

I started my period during the night and honestly, I must be having the worst period of my iife - the first day is always bad but not usually to this extent. My muscle walls in my bum and lower back are periodically cramping (every 10 mins) so violently it's actually made me scream out loud. I've also been sick (sometimes happens) which has given me a bloody awful headache. Still retching but luckily I didn't eat much last night due to nausea.

I was hoping to pull myself together and get into work for 10...not happened. I've been up since 5 and don't know what to do.

I've just started working for a big company and am literally the only woman on my team (hardly any in my dept either) - I don't know if I feel comfortable telling my boss I'm having period pain. I don't want to use my period as an excuse I'm genuinely suffering.

Please advise what you would do.

People do call in sick with a cold. A bad cold can mean you can't work. I've been sent home from work with a cold before.

I think that saying you've been sick is fine, as you have done. But I have phoned in to say I have a very heavy period before, and my manager just accepted it and wanted me off the phone as quickly as possible (I am the only woman in the team - I am not going to pretend I don't have periods, because I do, and they are normal.)

I think if you get them this badly, you should see a GP - if you are being told you should put up with it, get another GP. Mine said, "no woman in this day and age should have to put up with periods interrupting her life." Not all GPs think like this, though. There is a range of possible treatments, but some doctors make it a battle to get an investigation.

Agree with the PP about colds. Some do make you very ill and not fit for work.

Well saying you are vomiting and having severe stomach cramps is not a lie so no need to feel bad about it.

OP didn't say they were very ill with a cold. They said they'd have grossed people out.

YouSawThePlans

Missing work for a normal period isn’t usual.

Missing work for a period from hell due to an underlying gynaecological condition is more common (except women lie about the reason because they are embarrassed or afraid of not being taken seriously)
When you’ve maxed out on prescription and OTC medication and you still can’t stand upright, you can’t go to work.

Chaz that was exactly my point hence why I said OP should go to the GP.

Please don’t feel the need to make up excuses! We should be legitimising painful and heavy periods as a reason to not attend work. We need to talk more about this (and the menopause) at work. There should be no shame, no embarrassment! Please be part of the solution and not the problem. These men that we feel would be uncomfortable are all sons, fathers, husbands etc - they know we menstruate!!

Thanks everyone. My gp surgery would never be able to give me an appointment today and my symptoms usually ease off towards the end of my period.

Just counting down the minutes until I can take some more co-codamol.

Still make an appointment for the GP and get a referral to get better treatment.

You still need to see your GP. I have PCOS and transexamic acid and mefenamic acid changed my life.

I'm not sure what you mean in saying that your symptoms usually ease off, as it doesn't really matter that things do improve does it, and thank goodness they do, but no, make your appt.

Are you thinking that you have to be experiencing that level of suffering at the point of seeing the GP?

You don't have to put up with this and once you feel more secure in role it will be a good idea to raise it honestly at work if it impacts you again, as pp are right that regardless of the sex of your fellow employees, they are adults and it shouldnt be hidden away from them and you shouldn't feel you have to hide it or be embarrassed. It is something that gets easier to address with age and confidence in work though.

Please get to the GP though, asap.

Oh god I know the backside muscle spasms well. They are so painful and would be hard to mask. Hope you feel better soon OP. Also maybe make a GP appointment.

@peachgreen Did it help with the muscle spasms etc? I have PCO and I’m sure a lot of my cycle symptoms aren’t normal. Ovulation is so painful.

Your periods are absolutely not normal... thought mines were bad but I felt unwell reading about yours! Please get help for them - could be underlying issues x

The only time I tell work why I’m off is if I have a single day off for a migraine. Otherwise I’ll just tell them I’m not well and leave it at that.

I can text my boss if I’m off sick so every work place is different.

See if you can get some buscopan from the chemist - it’s mainly used for IBS spasming but I take it every period as it helps with the cramping pain, muscle spasms etc.

Will book an appointment, always assumed not much could be done beyond taking painkillers and "balancing my hormones".

Depends what it is. If it’s endo then excision surgery can be very effective.

My knees are actually hurting now - that's a new one. Was hoping going to the toilet would relieve some pressure but no luck.

If you get told that nothing more can be done go to another GP that actively wants to help you, in reducing the pain and other awful symptoms.

Don't spend another month suffering, or taking work days off, or feeling guilty, like this.

There's no reason in this age of medicine women that should have to suffer so badly with a period that they have to stay home.

We're doing brain surgery FFS, heart transplants, valve replacement, genetic manipulation.

Just push for proper help.

GPs waste NHS money letting patients go away untreated and it costs the economy all the lost work days.

If it were a work project you would push until resolution?

Periods can be awful for some of us women (and girls), Im sorry you are seriously suffering with them.

As others have suggested, do see a GP about how bad these are! Took me going private before I was finally sorted but it was 100% worth that £250.

Regarding work, I had to leave half way through the day because I had completely flooded through my jeans and was in agony with the pain too. Surprisingly my male director was completely understanding

It is mortifying though, to have such an intimate function revealed to the world.

I really feel for you having flooded your jeans, its the biggest fear when you start your periods that blood might get seen on your clothes. Its such a big deal as a girl.

You say you have just started with the company but were off a month ago with a heavy cold. When did you ACTUALLY start? And how many days did you have off for the cold?

I'll be honest and I know it sounds harsh, but it doesn't look great - just started work after uni, already had time off for a cold (offices would be pretty empty from about November to March if everyone stayed off work with a cold) and now off with something that is pretty likely going to happen every month for years to come. From what you say, this is a problem that hasn't just appeared. You really need to get to a doctor and get yourself properly checked out and on the correct medication for when you have the more severe symptoms. What are you going to do if it's the same the next month, and the one after that? You just simply can't have one or two days off every month, or even every few months as it going to cause you problems at work.

And before anyone jumps on me MN style and tells me I'm an unfeeling meanie with no sympathy for my fellow woman-kind, I suffer terribly with my periods, no gory details required but bloody awful (pun intended). I'm now late forties and actually looking forward to the menopause! Mefanamic acid from the doctors was not a cure, but it was a big help for me. To varying degrees it's something 50% of the population has to deal with and no matter how awful it makes you feel, it's kind of something you have to find a way to deal with. Keep painkillers / anti-cramping / nausea medication all stocked up, and get on with it. For sure, it's crap, but that's life, eh?!

This is my third period I've had whilst working. I was definitely in pain with the other two but went in (grimacing at my desk which made me very self-conscious).

I had one day off for the cold and worked from home on the 2nd day (lost my voice from hacking - tmi sorry).

Zebras I agree with you about all of it but especially not sharing our gynae history or gory details.