I'm married and my divorced boss kissed me on the cheek which felt electric

[Office9to5]

NC for this. I feel ashamed to say I can still feel his kiss on my cheek since Friday evening. Have worked for him in an open plan office for 6 years, there's always been a strong chemistry between us. We're both early 40's with teenage/university kids. I'm married to a difficult and controlling man, we married too young and stayed together for the sake of the kids. I've felt trapped for years and during that time my boss who's in the Legal profession has often given me good advice about my rights and how to get out of my situation. I never felt a magnetic draw with anyone in my life apart from him. I feel so happy being anywhere near him and love being at work. He walked me to the taxi rank on Friday night after Christmas party and we stood there talking for about 20 minutes and as I was about to go he gave me a hug and a kiss which he never did before, he turned his head towards me as if about to kiss me properly but I turned away in panic even though I wanted to kiss him too. It didn't seem awkward or maybe I got it wrong? He's been on annual leave this week and I don't know how to react when he's back on Monday. He'd usually text in the evenings or when he's off about work stuff or funny Instagram posts etc but the only text I got from his was last night asking if I was OK with him to which I replied of course as I couldn't think of anything else to say! Should I ring him to clear the air or chat on Monday morning or am I imagining the whole thing? He's my perfect soulmate, he sometimes jokes about wishing I wasn't married and he's fed up living on his own! I feel he's wanted more for a long time with other things he's said..... Just to add neither of us had much alcohol on Friday so we were lucid!

Fuck's sake....another one.

You're having an emotional affair. Either stop it, or leave your marriage. Any other course of action is unfair on everyone involved.

He's my perfect soulmate

Unlikely. But either way you need to leave your husband and get a different job.

If you're unhappy with your marriage leave...or is you DH suddenly controlling now you fancy someone else?

Oh grow up, are you 12?? Your soul mate, nope you fancy him. Fine whatever but you have 2 choices. Leave your dh and date boss or stay married and don't cheat. Simple really.

Grabs popcorn. 😂

Here come the swathes of MN users who have never started a relationship at the end of a horrible one, or discovered feelings for another while trapped in something vile and abusive..

My parents (mother and stepdad) met at work, both in terrible marriages. Now happily together for just over 40 years despite pearl clutching relatives trying to destroy things at the start.

He may be just what you need. You only get one life.

There seems to be a rash of women fancying their bosses/colleagues/childrens' teachers at the moment. Has the average age profile dropped or something?

Maybe it is a wake call for you to realise you need to leave your loveless marriage.
Leave because it is not healthy you're not happy.
Down the line if he is not involved with anyone, give it a try, don't miss out on happiness in a loveless marriage.

@AnneLovesGilbert

Unlikely? Read my post. It happens. Just because you don't think it could happen, doesn't mean it doesn't happen.

Get divorced then get together with him.

I agree with gindaddy BTW

Get another husband or another job. Or you may find yourself doing both.

Well, it sounds like you need to separate from your husband. And if you want to try and have a relationship with the other guy, one of you needs to get a new job.
Anything else would be unfair on your husband, kids, colleagues .....

@GinDaddy

Here comes the swathe of MN users who read this EXACT STORY every single week... About a married woman who is unhappy, having fantasies about a man at work, who she fancies, and she is SURE fancies her, but neither one of them can act on it, because one of them (or both) are married.. yawnnnnnnnn

Sometimes we see threads like this more than once a week. 🙄

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3760647-To-confront-married-male-friend-over-his-behaviour-towards-me?msgid=92084603

Yeah, no need to tag me thank you. It is unlikely and she does need to leave her husband. She clearly hates him or she wouldn’t be messing around swooning after her electric boss.

@MistyCloud

Erm, if you find the content banal, apply to be a moderator on your own website where you can categorise, pick and choose to your heart's content?

Are you also aware we have the EXACT STORY every week about

• Someone being unable to park directly outside their house on an unallocated parking street

• Whether an in law should be invited to an event or not

• School have disciplined my child and I disagree with the decision

• My relative has passed and their will doesn't reflect my expectations re inheritance. AIBU?

I occasionally tire of those posts, but folk have the right to post them, and they do.

I think some people don't like this kind of thread because of insecurities rather than the content itself.

@AnneLovesGilbert

She already said her husband is controlling. Not everything is black and white. Of course people should leave a person before starting something else, but you'd be naive to think it's always that simple.

@GinDaddy thank you for your understanding and it's good to hear it worked out for your parents. @managedmis thanks also. To the others I started off my post by saying I felt ashamed and said nothing's ever happened between us! It much be such fun being so perfect and judgemental all the time! I said I wanted to kiss him too but didn't out of guilt and being married so do I not get any credit for having morals? Anyone would think you can never fancy anyone again just because you're married and that you're a terrible person if you do..... I haven't been on MN in months so hadn't seen any other threads recently but it's got quite vicious here since the last time I posted a thread.....

This is one of those threads that's going to run and run with hundreds of posts with the OP dropping by every so often to say "he just walked into the office"... 3 hours later... "he's asked me what I'm having for lunch".... "he just sent me a funny Xmas meme on instagram"..... "my husband asked me why I'm giggling so much lately"....

I’m literally here on this thread. You have no need to tag me. Please stop.

You don’t think she should leave her husband? Even though he’s “controlling”? Maybe he’s showing uneasiness as his wife is off making eyes at her boss?

@Office9to5 why are you ignoring your feelings? You feel a strong connection to this man, you get on brilliantly and are convinced he’s your perfect soulmate, you can’t stop thinking about the kiss he gave you. I think you know deep down you need to end your marriage, you’ve said it yourself, you stayed together for the kids, now it’s your turn to be happy! Divorce is not an nice thing to go through for the entire family but from what you’ve said I think you will feel so much freedom and relief after it’s all done with. Whether you start a relationship with your boss or not, I think this is just what you need, all it takes is one brave leap to make you happy. As pp said, you only get one life, don’t waste it in a loveless, controlled marriage!

@MistyCloud just because we see the same repeated story doesn’t mean we shouldn’t still give advice though right?

Well I'm one of the ones who left a loveless abusive relationship because I fell in love with someone at work. Who btw was single..wouldnt have gone there otherwise.

I left him and was single for a few months before me and my now bfgot together

Best thing I've ever done..