AIBU to request no male midwife

[Hellofromtheotherside2020]

I know I'm probably being unreasonable, but I am due to give birth soon and at the hospital where I'm planning on giving birth, there are a few male midwives employed.

I think it's great that there are male midwives. It really must take a special kind of man to want to do that job and I expect they're very professional and amazing in their roles.

I know many women who've said that having a male midwife was better than a female etc etc as they were more sympathetic.

But for some reason, which I can't explain as I don't know why, I just feel so uncomfortable at the thought of having a male deliver my baby. It's not a sexual thing. I don't think a man will look at my vagina and get turned on or anything like that. I know they see plenty every day. I would feel uncomfortable, vulnerable, exposed and embarrassed if there was a man present (other than DH).

I know people will say "when you're in labour you won't care who's in the room", but I will care. I've given birth three times before and I did care then. I enjoyed my previous births and I was comfortable being surrounded by lovely women caregivers. I felt very feminine and powerful. I didn't care if the female caregiver had given birth herself or not, so it's not even a case of feeling the male midwife wouldn't have empathy or anything like that, which is what my friend suggested.

Am I the only person who feels like this?
How can I articulate my request to the hospital in my birth plan without sounding like a sexist pig? I feel so bad feeling his way as I know they're great at their jobs. I just know for sure I'd be so uncomfortable in my primal self giving birth and likely pooping myself in front of another man.

I'm the same with GPs and even dentists too, I just feel more comfortable under the care of another woman. What's wrong with me? Come to think of it, any make who is in a position of power/authority to me (eg senior colleagues) I always feel so vulnerable and inferior. Why?!!!! Help!

I dunno, wasn't it the cheese?

(I know, I promised, will stop now.)

I would not have wanted a male midwife. I don't think it will be an issue for you, just say what you want in advance so it's in your notes.

So, the male patient requested a male nurse but it was fine that he got you because you did your best by covering him with a towel? So, if a female patient requests a female nurse it would be acceptable to send in a male nurse with a modesty towel would it? No, it wouldn't. How did you advocate for your patient?

My patients were mostly mobil and I said earlier that we borrowed Male staff for intimate care if men requested it, which is not that common, tbh. I usually find that men, not all but most, actually prefer female care. But I’m sure you’ll not believe that, but I couldn’t care less whether you believe me.

I’m not going to derail this thread any longer with the ‘what about the men’ that always pops up.

Only I think the biggest de rail came from you talking about an entirely irrelevant point - your DH prostate.

She responded to someone’s accusations that men don’t have a choice and we’d be up in arms about it if they asked. It was a response to a question and the fact that you’re using a woman’s genuine concern about her husband’s health as a gotcha is vile.

I really want some hummus now, but my wee Lassie is in bed. Why the hell did you mention hummus earlier?

. It was a response to a question and the fact that you’re using a woman’s genuine concern about her husband’s health as a gotcha is vile.

Then she should start her own thread surely? That's what's always thrown up.on these threads. Why raise her concerns about her husband on a thread about a woman wanting female hcps? What's the relevance? And why is she worried? He doesn't seem to have any symptoms just that she thinks he's at a certain age. I'm sure he's quite capable of deciding if he needs to see a Dr or not.

I seem to remember reading about a food safety scare/product recall related to hummus here recently (is overseas). Is that over now? Please don't get food poisoning!

I seem to remember reading about a food safety scare/product recall related to hummus here recently (is overseas). Is that over now?

Dammit!

Please don't get food poisoning! I’m sure certain posters wouldn’t agree with you. 😁

I’ve just realised I have no clients coming until later tomorrow, so I can have a lie in. Whoop whoop.

Enjoy your lay in!

Labour is instinctive and primal, it is a remarkable thing that only a woman can do. Women's bodies are amazing. It's instinctive and primal that women support women during this. Women wanting to be supported by women is not sexist and I find that suggestion horrifically outrageous and misogynistic.

(To clarify I mean female women, women have worked hard to make woman a strong empowering word which I won't now replace with female).

I wanna keep talking about cheese, its much more pleasurable than centring men all the time.

Love hummus too!

We could do that. OP, what's your favorite cheese?

Thats cruel hearhooves. Who are you, how low.

Also for serious, is the hummus thing over now? I don't want my dad to get ill and he snaffles the stuff down like it's crack.

Enjoy your lay in! Thank you but I’m not a chicken 🐔 🥚🤣 Sorry.

he snaffles the stuff down like it's crack.

He must have one hell of an inhale to get that up his nose. 😁

Actually, do you sniff crack or smoke it. Hmmmm smokey hummus. I’m beginning to feel like Homer Simpson.

Men have no place in birthing unless invited in by the birthing woman. Shocking that women should be able to choose, but they can and men can be excluded. Womans choice. Instinctively, strange males are not conducive to progression of labour, research tells us. Women tell us too, sometimes very quietly, and sometimes only through issues of labour, sometimes loudly, but its always important to listen and have respect for a birthing woman to aid safe delivery of her baby.

I thought I'd mind a lot but didn't give a diddly squat when a very handsome young doctor was trussing up my nether regions like a turkey.

smokey hummus?!! Oh bloody hell. Where? I need it now, rue that all my cambozola already snaffled

smokey hummus?!! Oh bloody hell. Where? I need it now

I don’t actually know if it exists in real life, but if not, we need a go fund me page, right now! This is of national importance.

Baba ganoush is smokey, or at least it should be! I've had roasted red pepper hummus, was bit too sweet.

It honestly does feel that way right now! help!

Maybe I could knock up some baba ganoush.. recipe?

Or I could make plain hummus, smokey. I have smokey parika would that work?

I’ve never tasted Baba ganoush and now I want to try it.