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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To really detest Christmas

156 replies

Kingoftheroad · 01/12/2019 23:08

Is it just me or does anyone else feel like this? I go through the motions for the family but I loathe putting up the tree, decorating the house, wrapping, shopping. I listen to my friends talk about their decorating themes for this year, Christmas Day outfits etc etc and just can’t ever conjure up any excitement. I’m heading to the sun the week before Christmas to try to take the edge off but this is now adding to the stress having to think about finishing up my workload and packing.

Any tips to help me get through this

OP posts:

BillHadersNewWife · 01/12/2019 23:10

Did you not enjoy it as a child OP? I find those people who don't like it had often bad experiences as a child. Do you have kids yourself?

MissHemsworth · 01/12/2019 23:15

Hi Op I think I know where you're coming from. I actually really like Christmas but find the sheer amount leading up to it stressful & overwhelming. Namely getting the tree, putting it up & decorating...which is ridiculous as really it only takes a few hours.

I remember a few christmases ago feeling so stressed & wrung out by Christmas Eve that I was knackered & snappy. It made me realise there's no point in creating the 'perfect Christmas' if it kills you in the meantime!

The amount of pressure these days to do this that & the other is a joke. You never feel like you are doing enough & completely lose sight of what it's all about!

PersonaNonGarter · 01/12/2019 23:18

YABU. Christmas is about nice, well-intentioned family things.

But, if it has bad associations for you, or you are making yourself u happy with stress the stress of it all then YANBU to dislike Your Version of Christmas.

bridgetreilly · 01/12/2019 23:22

I hate it. It's such a waste of time and money and effort, desperately chasing after the 'perfect' Christmas with the 'perfect' family making the 'perfect' bloody memories. I wish everyone would calm down about it, stop planning it months in advance, and just relax. I feel my anxiety and stress building from about mid-November every year, because I'm anticipating major family melt-downs, conspicuous over-spending (not by me), and I cannot wait for it all to be over.

GreenTulips · 01/12/2019 23:24

I agree that Christmas starts way to early and too many expectation

Christmas Eve boxes
Christmas parties
Secret Santa
New dress or outfit
Tree and decorations
Gifts for anyone you may have nodded an Hello to in the last 20 years
Card writing
Exquisite gift wrap

It’s all too much!

Don’t even mention the social media ‘types’ with matching PJs and must have Christmas wine!!

MistyCloud · 01/12/2019 23:24

@Kingoftheroad

YANBU to hate it if you want to.

I love it.

It's what you make it, and it doesn't NEED to be stressful or expensive.

Putting up the tree and decorations, wrapping gifts, and Christmas shopping is the best part of Christmas IMO.

Blueshadow · 01/12/2019 23:25

Is there any aspect of it you like? I like the tree, some of the music and the chocolate. That’s pretty much it. I’m too introverted to enjoy the enforced family time. I love it when it’s over and I can read my new books with a turkey sandwich and something nice to drink. Keep it as simple as possible would be my advice.

GruciusMalfoy · 01/12/2019 23:26

I feel like I am a lot more relaxed about it than a lot of my family. I'm not bothered too much about decorating, but I do it for the kids, they like it. If we don't have certain food or drinks, I'm not bothered, we'll get something else and it'll be fine. But my mother is the absolute opposite and organises herself into a frenzy. To me, it often seems like unnecessary stress for one day.

Wakingupnow · 01/12/2019 23:27

We have low key Christmas. Decorations/ small prelit tree takes.20 minutes to put up. Veg on christmas day are invariably pre-prepared in tray to shove into.oven. we open presents the night before (no small dc), no ridiculously high standards to meet , Christmas day is very relaxing. We also don't go overboard on presents, prefer to save towards holidays.instead. would scaled.down version of.christmas help?

SunsetBoulevard3 · 01/12/2019 23:30

I used to love it but in the past five years have grown to dread it.
I just don’t enjoy anything about it anymore. So much stress and pressure. When Jan 2 comes and the whole festive/NY thing is done, I am SO relieved.

Original poster

Kingoftheroad · 01/12/2019 23:33

green tulips media types and matching pj,s - hilarious I’d forgotten about them

OP posts:

Ingridla · 01/12/2019 23:36

I hate it. I have very little family & little contact with those, they're not nice people. I'm volunteering at Crisis on xmas day & four other days.

billy1966 · 01/12/2019 23:36

I actually can understand this but am mixed myself.
When it arrives I really enjoy it and we really enjoy it as a family, but I feel privately it's a very vulgar time of year.
I'm very privately a bit of a Scrooge and don't like waste.
I dislike presents, largely because I am difficult to buy for.
I re-gift the most lovely of gifts.
I love to give but not really receive.
It brings out all these weird, complicated feelings in me.
I complete all purchases by mid November so that I have had time to buy wisely and considerately.
My idea of hell is to be shopping in December.
Thankfully my children get no hint of this as I go through all the motions.
I am just remembering that I have to put out the special Advent calendar!

underneaththeash · 01/12/2019 23:38

Nope.

Try and put in a box the things you hate and get them out of the way and then you can enjoy the bits you like.

highlandcoo · 01/12/2019 23:41

OP can you talk to your family and share out the tasks?

You have to accept things may not be done exactly as you would choose but that's fine. I remember my older son loading all the baubles onto just three branches of the Christmas tree one year

IMO, mums get lumbered with the vast majority of the work and no wonder lots of us get totally pissed off with the whole business.

I know it depends on your family situation but delegate if you can and don't take all of it on your shoulders. Easy to say I know but this year I'm definitely going to try ...

TheSandman · 01/12/2019 23:42

Gods I loath it. I especially loath the sodding, inescapable, sodding 'Festive' music. The same 20 crap songs on an endless looptape of over-sentimental, over-produced, irritating cynical cashcow music.

The next time I hear Noddy Holder yelling "It's CHRRRRIIIIISTMAS!" in a shop I'm going to punch whoever is standing next to me right in the face.

I loath Hogmanay too but that's more avoidable, even in Scotland.

weegiemum · 01/12/2019 23:44

We have created our own, lower key celebrations than either of us had as dc.

We have an advent wreath that we light on Sundays in December (only not tonight as dh and dd1 are working, we'll do it tomorrow). Nice, totally consumer free tradition as part of our faith.

We do a few full on church things, but that's just the way it is, I lead a Christmas party for asylum seekers, dh is our acting-pastor so he has talks to do at pre-Christmas services.

Christmas Eve we try to go to the cinema (this year it will be Star Wars) and have s low key dinner of steak or venison.

I lie in bed like a small child on Christmas morning as I get so excited until everyone wakes up. We have stockings, very few bigger presents (this year I have a jumper for dh). Mil is almost always with us.

We have a full scale Christmas lunch but Roast Dinner is a general fave in our house. This year will be fun more than normal as my brother is coming. He's autistic and will come with 2 support workers (who will also eat with us) and he adores his nieces and nephew so it's a huge deal for him.

I know this thread was about keeping Christmas simple, but spending it with my brother is a huge highlight, for all of us. He'll be hard work, want to help (we'll have the kids, him and his guys walk the dog!) and arrive early and leave as soon as dinner is over. But it will make his day (his mum, my dear stepmum, has already cried twice on the phone to me to say Thankyou!) and I'm expecting this to be a fabulous year.

Sorry for long post. Got carried away!!

thenightsky · 01/12/2019 23:45

I went away to a sunny place for the fortnight before Xmas last year, returning to the UK on 25th. God it was lovely to miss all that stressful run up. Can't afford it thus year, plus it's my turn to host. Definitely gearing DH up for another escape in 2020 though.

TooGlamToGiveADamnn · 01/12/2019 23:49

I am most definitely a humbug. As soon as I see the Christmas emails circling at work in November, I want to quit my job as all the festive team meals and secret Santa's make me want to implode.

We have a very different "Christmas day" compared to others.. but we like it

highlandcoo · 01/12/2019 23:49

Sounds really nice weegiemum and as if you're focusing on what's important.

We're also doing just one present each and have radically slimmed down the presents exchanged with the wider family, with everyone's agreement. Kids and very old people are still getting decent presents but the rest of us as adults already have what we need.

i do feel less stressed now we've slimmed it all down

FAQs · 01/12/2019 23:51

Yep, only thing I look forward to is time off work. DD can't be bothered either this year, we haven't bothered so far with decorations or opened calendars we have. I have bought all her presents though.

Chunkers · 01/12/2019 23:55

I hate it too. I sacked it off a few years ago now and the relief is immense. Its just me, so I do put up some lights and have nice food. I may have to send a couple of cards to elderly rellies, but thats about it.

Chocmallows · 01/12/2019 23:55

Christmas usually makes me feel old like no other time of the year. I remember Christmas as a child with my sister hoping our dad would be home soon and stay home, but when he did it was awful for years. Having my DC first Christmasses ruined by mean ex-inlaws, the one where I tried to smile through it while having tests after a molar pregnancy.

This year feels different as I have been with my partner for 18mths who doesn't control me, is happy to cook and clean and best of all DCs think he's great too. So this year I am looking forward to it!

StormcloakNord · 01/12/2019 23:59

I always had amazing christmases as a child and I still fucking hate Christmas.

I don't know why I dislike it so much, I've never had bad Christmas experiences I just absolutely dread Christmas. It's just one big massive lead up to an underwhelming day.

SnowsInWater · 02/12/2019 00:00

YANBU to hate it, others are equally reasonable to love it. I am in the love it camp but I must admit that is easier to do when it's not a financial nightmare and we don't have a whole load of tricky relationships and logistics to navigate.

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