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Original poster

To really detest Christmas

156 replies

Kingoftheroad · 01/12/2019 23:08

Is it just me or does anyone else feel like this? I go through the motions for the family but I loathe putting up the tree, decorating the house, wrapping, shopping. I listen to my friends talk about their decorating themes for this year, Christmas Day outfits etc etc and just can’t ever conjure up any excitement. I’m heading to the sun the week before Christmas to try to take the edge off but this is now adding to the stress having to think about finishing up my workload and packing.

Any tips to help me get through this

OP posts:
ThighThighOfthigh · 02/12/2019 10:10

We have scaled in back to just a roast and presents for kids, no travelling. And a dog walk and TV.

Whattodoabout · 02/12/2019 10:12

YANBU to feel that way, obviously everyone is entitled to. I personally love it but accept its a miserable time for others.

OctopusNow · 02/12/2019 10:12

I'd love to go somewhere warm and forget about Christmas, escape from the MIL and all the festive duties. Sounds idyllic!

TroysMammy · 02/12/2019 10:13

I hate all the unnecessary fuss people make. I hate people asking me "ready for Christmas?" It's one sodding day and because of the short days it makes it worse. Crap tv, crap presents, annoying Christmas songs, glittery Christmas cards, tv adverts of "the perfect" Christmas, people on social media posting photos of tonnes of presents. The only saving grace is the roast dinner which is exactly the same as a Sunday roast but with pigs in blankets. I'd eat a roast every day.

I no longer have a Christmas tree just one or two white animals to display. My fairy lights are up all year round.

I'm now going into the attic to get my Bah Humbug hat.

PBo83 · 02/12/2019 10:21

You aren't unreasonable at all.

However, I believe you can still enjoy Christmas even if you eliminate a lot of the unnecessary (and stressful) elements.

  • Agree with as many people as possible that you won't buy each other presents.
  • If you want decorations, just get a small pre-decorated tree and put a load of tinsel all over the place (cable ties are your friend here).
  • Book somewhere for Christmas dinner or just make a normal roast without all the extras (or just make the bits you like!)
  • Just enjoy seeing the people you want to see and forget the shopping, wrapping and all that hassle and expense.

I will only be buying for my wife and stepdaughter and have agreed with everyone else that we won't buy for each other. I'm making arrangements to see people but not trying to cram them all in the Christmas week (if I see them a week before or a week after then so be it, it just makes the season last longer).

We don't and never have done Elf-on-the-bloody-shelf or Christmas Eve boxes because they're just not needed and I will definitely be staying away from social media.

I hope you have a good one whatever you end up doing (or not doing!)

Ohfrigginghellers · 02/12/2019 10:55

The next time I hear Noddy Holder yelling "It's CHRRRRIIIIISTMAS!" in a shop I'm going to punch whoever is standing next to me right in the face

^ that's actually one of my favourite Christmas songs so I don't mind that. Mariah on the other hand gets on my nerves.

Bluntness100 · 02/12/2019 10:59

Is there a reason op you hate it. Loathe is a strong word. Christmas is what you make it. Did something happen at Xmas that made you feel this way? Or maybe you have financial issues?

Buttons4me · 02/12/2019 11:03

I hate it because it IS expensive. I wish I could save but it just doesn't happen There's always things that I need money for, I'm rubbish at saving and my priority soon becomes saving for a holiday in the summer with the kids so Christmas saving doesn't happen. I'm really struggling at the moment and am quite worried. Christmas comes round far far too quick.

EvaHarknessRose · 02/12/2019 11:08

I hate decorations except small and tasteful, especially hate finding room for a Christmas tree just when we need to fit eight more people in the house. Hate over consumption and over buying but love buying things that make my DC happy when I occasionally get it right. Love the food in small amounts but hate the drudge of shopping for it planning it and cooking it as no one else takes it on properly. Like having elderly parents over but want guests gone by 7pm so I can sit on my own sofa in peace and not on the floor after cooking cleaning and hosting all week. I basically see the days after Christmas as 'mine' while Christmas day is for others except then the rest of my family come and stay those days and we are back to square one.

blackteasplease · 02/12/2019 11:19

I like a lot of it but agree it can be stressful. I love the Christmas lights, the music and tbh I do enjoy the food and drink that goes with it!

I’ve decided not to get stressed about stuff this year as it’s just not worth it! It is only a day after all, albeit you might do Christmassy stuff on the days surrounding it.

We’ve got a few days away (in the UK) planned just after Christmas so I’m looking forward to that. A sun holiday sounds amazing though!

PineappleDanish · 02/12/2019 11:29

Why must a loathing of Christmas have to be explained away by either past trauma or financial worries? We have neither. But I still have the opinion that the whole "festive season" is over hyped, a hideous consumer fest, and starts in September. You CANT avoid it.

Prechildren was better as we could go somewhere hot and ignore it. Kids dint male or special. They make it more work. Hate it. Roll on 1st January.

CopperPottery · 02/12/2019 11:33

I hate all the hyping christmas up to be 'the best day ever' when in fact it's actually a really boring day sat round some relative's stuffy overheated house eating too much crap food with a few new toys thrown in. I worry every year about the kids being disappointed and having a crap christmas because I'm really not sure I can provide the mega wonderous time they've been being promised since October.

chocatoo · 02/12/2019 11:34

I get very stressed about trying to get everything done as I have a very busy job and the extra work of preparing for Christmas usually sends me close to the edge! Then, after usually causing a scene with my husband/daughter, I feel really guilty for spoiling it all for them.

DH is willing to help to a certain extent but when I ask him to do certain things he will say 'why on earth are we doing this?' and 'this is ridiculous', whereas in fact it’s only truly helpful if he would just get on with it and do as he is asked – if I have to justify every request, it is easier just to do it myself...and yes, a lot of it is ridiculous, but by then I am pretty much at the stage where it’s easier to carry on than to start making the type of phone call needed to say shall we stop exchanging presents (I always vow that I will do it the following year!).

I find it helps if I simply accept that it’s going to be hideously hard work for me and just grit my teeth and get on with it, but then that makes me feel a bit sorry for myself! Clearly organisation is the key and every year I am in awe of those people who manage to have Christmas sorted by the beginning of December.

PineappleDanish · 02/12/2019 11:43

Not only is it a fairly shit day, it's the SAME shit day each year.

Hepsibar · 02/12/2019 11:45

A friend of mine once said that Christmas was just an extra strain on already busy females who were already doing 2 jobs working and doing most household chores ... that really hit a nerve with me.

So if you really dont want to, why dont you go away for the festive period and have someone else do all the work?

PBo83 · 02/12/2019 11:52

DH is willing to help to a certain extent but when I ask him to do certain things he will say 'why on earth are we doing this?' and 'this is ridiculous'

To be fair, that could easily be me and wonder whether there is a (typical) male/female division of opinion when it comes to certain things at Christmas.

My wife will make a huge list of 'people to buy for' and then get stressed when she has to think of something to buy for everyone. When I suggest doing what I do and agreeing not buy presents, she tells me "but I like buying presents".

Then at Christmas dinner she'll insist that she 'really likes making Christmas dinner' whilst complaining non-stop about it. I suggest that we go out for Christmas dinner buy she'll refuse.

I swear it's the same psychology that surrounds BBQ's in the summer. I would happily bulk-buy sausages and burgers, provide rolls, plastic cheese and ketchup and stock up on beer. My wife wants to ensure there are 12 different types of salad, cous cous, a selection of different cheese, there'll be chicken, some homemade kebabs and even fish! Yet she'll complain how much hassle it is preparing everything.

Before I get attacked, this is meant to be slightly tongue-in-cheek and isn't necessarily a male/female thing (although it seems to be amongst people I know). Some people like to make a huge fuss, try and ensure everything is 'perfect; but somewhat resent doing it. Others are happy to just do the basics and concentrate on having a good time. Neither is right or wrong but it obviously leads to conflict.

(I'm not advocating making 'no effort' when there are young children involved though, I had great Christmases growing up because my parents made the effort).

BlaueLagune · 02/12/2019 11:53

I hate the expression ‘Are you ready for Christmas?’, I was rather rude recently and answered ‘yes, it’s the 25th December every year, plenty of time to prepare

I was reading through the comments thinking "the thing I hate is when people ask me if I am ready for Christmas" - glad I'm not alone!

Yes it's a wasteful consumerist full of eco-sin nonsense, I also think it should be once every four years. Easter is so much less stress.

lazylinguist · 02/12/2019 11:55

I'm generally a bit of a cynic, but I love Christmas! It helps that all my family all get on really well. We always have a lovely few days together. Nobody minds hosting, everyone mucks in, everyone always likes their presents (we do lists, which helps!). The food is always great. I literally can't think of anything about it that I don't like.

Of course, it helps that out of all the adults among my closest family and in-laws, every single one of us either works in a school or or is retired, so we all have at least 2 weeks off. So we have longer to prepare, longer to recover and no childcare issues in the holidays.

Trewser · 02/12/2019 11:55

I love it when it’s over and I can read my new books with a turkey sandwich and something nice to drink

God yes me too.

BlaueLagune · 02/12/2019 11:57

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3748686-Christmas

And this thread also shows why it's a pain - someone invites themselves to your house for Christmas and you have to suck it up because it's Christmas.

CheerfulBunny · 02/12/2019 11:58

I just think the pressure is immense - you can't escape it. If you're having a hard time for whatever reason then it really compounds it and makes you feel worse. My dad died quite suddenly from cancer three days after Christmas last year so was very ill in the run up, plus I'd just moved into a rented house after the break up of a long relationship so was a bag of nerves anyway. I couldn't face any of it. I remember standing in shops and forcing myself to buy things for people and wishing it would all just go away. All the bloody adverts on TV with all the happy people... I couldn't wait for it to be over.
Happily, life has changed for the better now and I helped my lovely new boyfriend put our tree up in our house yesterday. Things can change so much in a year. I'm not sure I'll ever love Christmas again though. My mum died ten years ago around the same time and it brings back too many memories but I am pleased I can sort of engage with it again.

Charles11 · 02/12/2019 11:58

The commercialism is ridiculous. Thankfully, my extended family is all low key about it too.
We just do bring a dish or two at a relatives house, only buy gifts for our own dc and that’s usually only a few things and just spend the time doing stuff with dcs and friends.
It probably sounds a bit joyless to some but we all honestly have a lovely time and there’s hardly any stress. Just chilled out and nice.

slipperywhensparticus · 02/12/2019 12:02

I'm annoyed by it this year ther are so many people arsing about I just want to get my regular shop but I cant because everyone it's in there buying 🤷‍♀️ it was December 1st yesterday so many people on the road I barely managed to collect my parcel traffic traffic traffic I got glared at for buying two bags of gluten free flour if you think I'm shopping for flour again this side of Christmas your wrong

blackteasplease · 02/12/2019 12:28

he will say 'why on earth are we doing this?' and 'this is ridiculous'

^^
I think we women need to say this to ourselves more!

I’m not one for advocating laziness and i love making things special but we do get into some crazy shit at Xmas.

IdiotInDisguise · 02/12/2019 12:33

So if you really dont want to, why dont you go away for the festive period and have someone else do all the work?

Because it costs an absolute fortune to travel and dine out during the Christmas period? My personal preference would be to book a remote place off network with no access to WiFi/internet and pretend it is October holiday... oh wait! The pubs are closed! The weather is miserable! (I might need to board the windows, nail the door down, throw away every screen in the house and wait for Christmas to pass as if it was the plague!)