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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To really detest Christmas

156 replies

Kingoftheroad · 01/12/2019 23:08

Is it just me or does anyone else feel like this? I go through the motions for the family but I loathe putting up the tree, decorating the house, wrapping, shopping. I listen to my friends talk about their decorating themes for this year, Christmas Day outfits etc etc and just can’t ever conjure up any excitement. I’m heading to the sun the week before Christmas to try to take the edge off but this is now adding to the stress having to think about finishing up my workload and packing.

Any tips to help me get through this

OP posts:
PineappleDanish · 02/12/2019 07:45

It is tacky and you cannot escape it even if you try

Totally agree. Impossible to escape. My local Co-Op has had a pile of mince pies at the door since early September. Better once the children get to secondary school but for my primary aged one it's christmas lunch, christmas carol singing, parties, advent calendar in the classroom.... just constant. Not a Hogmanay fan either.

XXXXXX42 · 02/12/2019 07:48

I’ve never opted in to the bits I don’t like!

I buy gifts for close friends and family, decorate the tree and bake/cook with my mum.

I don’t do: Xmas cards, Xmas day clothes, work Xmas parties/secret Santa.

I buy online in Oct/Nov so no stressing about that in Dec.

Personally I don’t find it stressful, I enjoy Xmas!

Jeezoh · 02/12/2019 07:50

I enjoy it more once I started to strip out the bits I don’t want to do and just focus on the bits I do. Adopting the mantra “if I can’t buy it online and get it delivered, I’m not buying it” helped the most!

PineappleDanish · 02/12/2019 08:09

For me the absolute pinnacle of Christmas Shite-ness is people queuing in car parks to see a branded Coca Cola lorry.

Sums up for me everything which is so awful about the entire season.

Afternooninthepark · 02/12/2019 08:22

I really don’t like Christmas either and hate that I hate it as it was my most favourite time of year as a child but I find it so, so hard now I am an adult with kids. For me it’s for various reasons:- my Nan died very unexpectedly at Christmas time 20 years ago and my mum now hates Christmas as she always thinks of nan which always puts a slight damper on things. But it’s also the enforced merriment which is shoved down our throats everywhere you go, from mid November there are Christmas bits everywhere, Christmas music, jolliness all round. I also hate winter with a passion so that probably doesn’t help things either.
So YANBU imo!

VeganCow · 02/12/2019 08:23

I like a low key Christmas but not keen on the over the top aspect. Agree, just do what suits you. I like to get everything done so can actually just enjoy December and avoid the shopping and the madness. Everything was bought online and I wrapped all the presents yesterday and put the tree up. its a pre-lit small one and took me about 15 mins.
Can concentrate on work which will be busy (self employed) and looking forward to a few days off between christmas and new year.

Whatnowagnes · 02/12/2019 08:26

I agree. Its just so much flipping hard work. I hate it.

ShatnersWig · 02/12/2019 08:33

If you're long term single (this will be my 10th Christmas single) with almost no family, and aside from a few hours on Xmas Day see no one for the best part of a week, and when you were 18 one of your best friends died on Xmas Eve, it's pretty fucking shit quite frankly.

I loved it as a child. Now I hate it. I'm sure if I wasn't single, or had a big family, I'd probably enjoy it enough, but when you've had that one really appalling Christmas, it's never ever the same and there is always a very melancholy air about it.

dancingbadger · 02/12/2019 08:41

I'm with you, I hate it! Loved it as a kid but now it's me doing all the work in the lead up it's just one exhausting, expensive anxiety filled period of mayhem. I just find it adds to all the other chores I already have to do, even the tree dropping it's needles creates extra cleaning etc. We always seem to host and usually the in laws stay over for at least 4 nights and will never give me any space, they spend entire days sat on the sofa in the lounge watching me frantically run around tidying things up, laying the table making them cups of tea etc. I actually feel like I've temporarily become a chamber maid at a boutique hotel filled with arsehole guests. But I do want my children to enjoy it so I do all this with a goddamn smile on my face, on the inside I just want to scream 'get out of my house, you ungrateful twats!'.
Then the rest of the family descend on us for the day itself which means on xmas day I'm chamber maid, cook, pot washer, waitress peace maker and entertainer. Then after the exhaustion of the day is over you have all the clearing, recycling, taking decorations down store them in the attic carefully boxed and labelled ready to do it all again next year. All this and I'm an atheist, I don't even believe in it ridiculous!

countdowntochristmas · 02/12/2019 08:43

Oh I think detest or hate is extreme but I get your reasons and others on this thread .
I like Christmas but I agree it's getting earlier and earlier and a lot of pressure too on people .

TheSandman · 02/12/2019 08:47

@PineappleDanish
For me the absolute pinnacle of Christmas Shite-ness is people queuing in car parks to see a branded Coca Cola lorry.

Sums up for me everything which is so awful about the entire season.

I had to Google this

www.coca-cola.co.uk/trucktour

but shit on a stick! really!!!!

PineappleDanish · 02/12/2019 08:49

Yes really. Because "holidays are coming", don't you know.

Madness. Total and utter MADNESS.

Youseethethingis · 02/12/2019 09:07

Pop up tree, gift vouchers, recycle the same Christmas jumper each year as a Christmas “tradition” (people love a good “tradition”), cards only for elderly relatives, Christmas decorations theme can just be Christmas (had no idea this was a thing people actually thought about).
Nothing stopping anyone cutting the corners they really CBA with apart from some deep socially ingrained need to strive to the bitter end for perfection. Too much pressure on a time that’s supposed to be fun!

FreedomfromPE · 02/12/2019 09:18

Spend Christmas away? Honestly I cba with the whole everyone getting religion and joy for a bit. Ditch it. Life is far more relaxed without it!

FreedomfromPE · 02/12/2019 09:19

I mean "joy" it's all so fake and forced.

Elphame · 02/12/2019 09:23

I hate it too. The crowds, the greed, the waste and that dreadful music. I saw the first xmas displays here in AUGUST. The children hadn’t even gone back to school.

I don’t even celebrate it but there is no escape. I have no intention of venturing into a single shop other than food ones until at least the middle of January

OctopusNow · 02/12/2019 09:30

I can't stand it either, it comes around far too quickly and drags on for about a quarter of the year, it's too much.

Maybe if we changed it to once every 4 years, people might actually look forward to it again?

I'd love to forget the whole thing but DS likes it and now we have DS it's hard to avoid.

I'm looking forward to playing with the new games and toys together but dreading the inevitable pile of crap that we will receive from family, it's all such a waste.

I don't really get the Santa thing either, I've learned from reading on here that some parents expect their children to believe that he's a real person! Shock
I thought it was just meant to be a story at Christmas time like The Snowman etc.

waltzingparrot · 02/12/2019 09:36

Can you really simplify and contain it?

I do love Christmas, but not the big old overly-commercial stressy Christmas.

I just pick three things I want to do for Christmas and do them well and enjoy them. For me this year it will be just a nicely decorated tree - no other decorations all over the house.
A baking day where I pick three things to make that we would never have at anytime the rest of the year which makes them special - last year's Baileys fudge was a hit and this year I've picked out some Swedish buns that look easy, but amazing.

This year I'm going to make my own door wreath. We'll go for a family walk and collect some evergreen and I'll enjoy trying to make it.

I will do these things on my own with Christmas music/film in the background and a glass of wine in hand.

I know I'll have to wrap a few presents and a few cards (less and less each year as the children get older) but I'll kill that in one evening, also with a glass of wine in hand.

Symptomless · 02/12/2019 09:38

Christmas doesn't need to be hard work. Just do what you want. I don't buy gifts for anyone this year except my dc, no cards, no secret santa, no xmas work dos, no santa at the garden centre, coke trucks etc.

BuzzShitbagBobbly · 02/12/2019 09:45

I go through the motions for the family but I loathe putting up the tree, decorating the house, wrapping, shopping.

Why are you doing it all yourself though?
I commented on another thread recently that pleasing yourself is one of the most important things you can do. It doesn't mean you become a selfish spoiled cow, but that if you do things you want to because you want to, they get a lot easier and you get a lot happier, instead of feeling put upon and annoyed by it.

(I love the run up to Christmas, the idea of it and the music etc. But I don't bother with any decos, tree or anything. Because I work full time and then the faff of taking it all down again in a couple of weeks bores the tits off me.)

Oysterbabe · 02/12/2019 09:48

Do you have children? I felt the same until I had them. I can't help but be carried along a bit with their excitement.

fedup21 · 02/12/2019 09:50

I listen to my friends talk about their decorating themes for this year, Christmas Day outfits

I love Christmas but I have to say I have NeVER had a conversation with any of my friends about Christmas decorating themes or Christmas Day outfits!

We might talk about what shopping we’d done or a cursory, ‘got your tree up yet?’ but that’s about it!

BarbaraofSeville · 02/12/2019 09:56

YANBU to hate it but YABU to think that any of the things are compulsory and it really gets a lot more bearable if you strip back as much as possible and do as little as you can.

If you have DC, obviously you need to get them gifts and do some other things that are really important to them - eg a tree? I really hate putting lights on the tree, so I bought a perfectly lovely, prelit artificial one, that makes it a lot easier.

Apart from your own DC, very few people actually need presents and most people will probably appreciate stepping off the gift exchange merry go round. So cut back hugely and where you feel you must get someone a present, just get them some wine or biscuits with the supermarket shop. Use gift bags to make the wrapping easier.

Don't even think about decoration themes or christmas day outfits. Why on earth would you? You don't even have to have a traditional Christmas dinner if you don't want one. Many people have other things like takeaway, buffet food, another favourite meal, or just a pared back, cut down, simplified but still enjoyable version.

Then just focus on things that you enjoy. Time off, TV, walks, hot chocolate, relaxing at home, go out to see lights, friends and family, whatever. But don't get trapped into feeling obliged to do every Christmas themed activity just because it exists. Because that's madness.

unicornsandmermaids · 02/12/2019 09:59

I'm usually 100% all for Christmas . It's usually my favourite time of the year and I look forward to it all year long. This year I just can't do it . I lost my job 6 weeks ago and found out last week we need to move next month as our landlord has sold the house , this added to a massive family falling out and I just don't see how I'm going to enjoy it this year . Everybody keeps saying you have to do it for the kids but I just can't muster the energy right now. My husbands being amazing and is cracking on with it all and I'm kind of just praying if passes quickly .

Dowser · 02/12/2019 10:03

I too take two weeks in the sun before Christmas, we get back on the 19 th
So tree going up today.
I love my summer holiday in winter.
I don’t hate or love Christmas..I’m pretty neutral on it. I’ve had 67 family Christmases..alll good..apart from the one where dad died a couple of days before..but I hate the stress around it..so I’ve cut stress out for me
I hate to see other families struggling though

My dil loves Christmas and goes overboard...I expect all her decorations are up now.
My lovely dd just takes it in her stride
The youngest grandchild in both families is 10..so everything changes
I just see it as a lovely family day
Me and dh have already exchanged prezzies.i got a north face arctic parka and he special shoes he wanted and a magnetic bracelet
We put our money into holidays now.
Whatever your Christmas is I hope it’s peaceful