To really detest Christmas

[Kingoftheroad]

Is it just me or does anyone else feel like this? I go through the motions for the family but I loathe putting up the tree, decorating the house, wrapping, shopping. I listen to my friends talk about their decorating themes for this year, Christmas Day outfits etc etc and just can’t ever conjure up any excitement. I’m heading to the sun the week before Christmas to try to take the edge off but this is now adding to the stress having to think about finishing up my workload and packing.

Any tips to help me get through this

I don't do themes. Part of the reason is that it is that l love Christmas the decorations is that I love seeing the same things come out year after year. I buy perhaps one or two new things a year

I am the same. I love my decorations, few of which are older than me. I don't get the theme thing. Absolutely unnecessary stress. But if someone enjoys it, why not.

I hate the fact it all needs to be perfect and there’s so much pressure

Who says it has to be perfect? And what is that perfect Christmas anyway?
What it really has to be is an enjoyable time for everyone. That should be the goal. Not some "omg perfect" Christmas.

@OMGHermes I just mean it’s always a big deal if things go wrong eg if a present doesn’t arrive or if the roast potatoes got burnt. That kind of thing? Things that wouldn’t be as much of an issue on any other day.

I love Christmas though! My post came across as if I’m a hater too but what I mentioned are things I hate about it.

Some of you are a creaters of your own hell.
If you can't tell others to do x and y while you do z, you have bigger problems than just Christmas.

And traditions can be changed. For example there doesn't have to be Turkey and trimmings but can be a very traditional goose instead. Or do Spanish Christmas food. Or German. Or any you fancy.

I just mean it’s always a big deal if things go wrong eg if a present doesn’t arrive or if the roast potatoes got burnt. That kind of thing?

The sooner the people learn to say "Meh, happens" the better (for them!). I freaked out my first adult Christmas too, about potato salad. Really freaked. It went so wrong. Since then I just... Go with whatever happens. It makes Christmas relaxing. Last year parsnips came out wrong. Meh. Got other stuff. Dinner here is never on time😂

The present thing is harder. That's why I am on having them done by 30.11.

I loathe it. I quite enjoy the day and fon’t Mind the cooking but I hate the pressure to make sure everyone is happy , I hate the gratuitous materialism , the constant spending money for the sake of it on tat . I always have a very busy autumn as my job is hectic in October/November then we have family birthdays over Xmas too plus I have hosted for 26 out of the last 30 years . It dawned on me recently that one of the reasons I hate it is that I can’t remember ever going to someone’s for Xmas and it just happening , even in the years we didn’t Host I still either cooked or look responsibility .

I start to dread it about Sept and this year actually turned and walked out of a supermarket in October when I saw the Xmas displays 🙁

The self-inflicted martyrdom of some of the posters on this thread is beyond ridiculous.

I dislike Christmas so I don’t put up decorations or a tree or cook a turkey or go to the work Christmas party or send cards. I opt out of the grotesque consumerist orgy as much as I can possibly get away with; this year I will probably buy a maximum of five presents, all to a strict budget.

It is not actually compulsory to exhaust and impoverish yourself for months to create a ‘perfect’ Christmas for other people, so if you don’t want to do it, get a grip and stop.

Problem solved.

It's become more strenuous because people have chosen to be sucked into the rubbish of Christmas Eve boxes, elves, etc. How old does something have to be to be called a 'tradition'? I would have thought thirty years munimum.
The feeling of let down is because it takes so long to prepare for and is over so quickly, especially if the presents are all opened in one go, our grandchildren have always been encouraged to open theirs gradually during the day.

You are making rods for your own backs with all this exhausting preparation, and missing the whole point of Christmas, which is to celebrate the birth of our lord and saviour.
Apart from going to church for a wonderful life affirming service where we share greetings with all our fellow villagers, the whole rest of it is an optional add on.
If you don’t like cooking a turkey, go to a restaurant or have a carry out. If you don’t want to decorate a tree, don’t bother.
Give small token presents, or donate to charity instead. Focus on spending quality time with people you love. Make your own Christmas traditions. None of it is compulsory!

YANBU. I don’t mind Christmas as such and will enjoy spending time with my family over the Christmas days, but we do it low key. No matching Christmas pyjamas or elves n the shelf in our house.

I get put off by people going too overboard and starting it all far too early.

walked out of a supermarket in October when I saw the Xmas displays

Even as a Christmas lover I say that this is a very reasonable reaction.

I come from a very dysfunctional family I'm no longer in contact with and it kind of ruined Christmas for me, so I feel the same. Smile and put on a happy face for DP but really just waiting for it to all be over!

I loathe it. I'm single and haven't got kids, so there's no point to me. It's in your face from September onwards with all the shops competing to grab the biggest share of a finite amount of money people have to spend. And the debt people get into. I didn't even like it as a child, because it was so stressful. As an adult, I have always felt it's like a party that everyone else is enjoying while I stand around with a glass of lukewarm Chardonnay, trying to make small talk. I'll stay in bed most of the day.

I love it, don’t go in for the elf on the shelf or Christmas Eve boxes, reindeer food nonsense but enjoy the run up, few nights out, some much needed time off work, take the kids to Bluestone or CPs for the weekend and generally spoil them rotten on the day and then just veg at home drinking wine with the family. I do understand that not everybody has a happy family around them though as I didn’t when I was younger and appreciate it now iyswim.

Now my children are adults Christmas is easier, I used to be so busy making it all perfect I'd get so stressed. I've learnt that it's a big Sunday roast with presents and decorations. Don't expect it to be wonderful, just pleasant and don't put heaps of pressure on yourself.
I work in a shop and am sick of decorations and the Christmas music already, they've been up since early November.

Now that my parents are dead, if we didn’t have Christmas I probably would never speak to at least one sibling at all. It’s my annual prompt. A bit awkward but better than nothing.

he will say 'why on earth are we doing this?' and 'this is ridiculous'

Then maybe you should listen to him. When I was first married I saw Christmas as some kind of mission to prove that we were finally grown ups. I invited all my siblings and their families, my parents and my mother in law to our tiny starter home and spent weeks months planning the perfect Christmas. That included "rehearsals" of the Christmas dinner that my husband duely ate whilst saying, this is ridiculous and too much fuss.
On Christmas Day I planned activities down to the last minute and forced everyone to take part after the massive lunch that they had eaten out of guilt and fear of upsetting me.

I don't think anyone actually had a good time. My lovely family and mother in law sucked it up because they love me. My husband too.
The kids were allowed to play with the mountains of toys that we'd almost bankrupted ourselves paying for so they were genuinely happy for about 10 minutes, then got fractious and whingy.

The following year I started the panic in April and by June was already stressed out that I kept bursting into tears - we were also TTC at that point so that might have had something to do with it. My husband said it was all ridiculous and why didn't we spend Christmas on our own, in our own home and have no visitors and besides it could be our last childfree Christmas (that was wrong but never mind). He offered to, and did, plan and shop for everything. We cut the number of presents we bought everyone, didn't bother with the roast as actually neither of us enjoyed it anyway. We had a load of good food to pick at, loads of booze, a pile of DVDs we wanted to watch and a massive Christmas tree. Then on Christmas Eve we shut ourselves away and enjoyed our time together and saw our families in the bit between Christmas and New Year. It was the best Christmas I'd ever had and, as my husband died a decade ago, I'm glad we got to spend those Christmases together, just me and him, shut away from the world for a few days.

My family still take the piss out of me about the first one though!

Now it's just me, my Dad and my mother in law and maybe my nephew for Christmas Day, with my sister and her family coming for a few days on Boxing Day and my brother and his family popping in at some point as well. No fuss. No big meals. Just the massive tree, treats and plenty of booze :-D

@SabineUndine

I have always felt it's like a party that everyone else is enjoying while I stand around with a glass of lukewarm Chardonnay, trying to make small talk.

Trust me. A lot of the people at that party don't want to be there either and are only smiling like loons because their lives would be made unbearable if they didn't. It's all bullshit.

Mum used to work in a very small establishment (a similar one has already been mentioned as hell in the lead up) so they had their Christmas meal anytime between Feb and June. They'd book it early so the venues (think pubs etc) would keep crackers etc and everyone including other diners and staff used to have a ball with these crazy nutters.

My best Christmas was camping on an international site in Spain where so many congregated outside with wine and nibbles. You chatted to longtime friends, newbies and strangers in the common language of laughter and alcohol. No stress - fabulous.

Now it's 3 x 50+ of which 2 can't be arsed but do all the work whilst the 3rd does bugger all but set the table and remember to pour one glass of bubbly each yet still insists on full Christmas lunch with all the trimmings and loud TV (needs but refuses hearing aids) Yuck

As an adult, I have always felt it's like a party that everyone else is enjoying while I stand around with a glass of lukewarm Chardonnay, trying to make small talk.

@SabineUndine that’s how I feel. Bet there is a few of us.

I agree with a previous poster, that Easter is a more enjoyable holiday, if you're obliged to buy anyone anything, it's a chocolate egg for a couple of quid. No cards (unless you're that dedicated), no decorations, a modest roast and eating of chocolate eggs until June. No forced happiness. And the Easter bunny is way less creepy than Santa.

Hallowe'en is our favourite - we do a big number on the house and the kids spend ages on their guising costumes.

As an added bonus it annoys the fuck out our prissy, sanctimonious, Born Again, pain in the ass next door neighbours.

You can't escape it entirely and I've spent many years trying. I just don't pay attention to it anymore even if it appears in the shops by the end of Sept. I've managed to scale down my involvement to 1 Christmas card for mum and attending the work's Christmas do, which thankfully this year is over and done with already.

It is the only time of year I can spend a thousand pounds on people without a nice word or a thank you inside them. I continually try to make it perfect for everyone.Thoughtful gifts that are not only demanded but expected.All the preparation all the hassle ugh. I want to break out an d be selfish I do but I feel duty bound to toe the line. I get through it on resentment.I look at my gifts and think there you go you set of bastards now piss off.Then I look at the pound shop tat they buy me and wince. Then my husband says oh isnt that nice ..err no its not nice its far from nice its thoughtless,shite and cheap with no idea or meaning behind it. This is just his side of the family I am speaking about.Mine are totally different.They are warm and caring and loving and if they got nothing at all it wouldnt matter because being together is way more important in all our eyes.So half of me hates Xmas the other half loves it. Xmas for his lot is a chore and a bind and it makes me shake with rage when they produce their list of expectations wants and demands but I do it for him and pass on the presents and feed them then once they have crawled back into their holes I can relax and spend time with the ones I love then I enjoy it. I know I sound awful but if you could see and experience what I have from them over the last 10 years you would understand. and Breathe...oohhh I got myself quite worked up there ...sorry!!!!

I was in Asda today. Manages to avoid most of the tat as it's confined to on aisle. But right by the door they had a pallet with make your own Christmas Eve box" displays. Generic red cardboard box. Lots of assorted plastic tat to put in the box.

So special. So magical. So Christmassy.

I realize this makes me a grump, but I hate the "lovely, thoughtful" presents posters here are always on about buying other people. I am not good at buying presents, I don't equate love with gifts, and I find the pressure to find a gift that qualifies as lovely and thoughtful enough a bit overwhelming.

I have relations who are always on about how lovely and thoughtful their gifts are and how disappointed and hurt they are when other family members don't reach their standards. I don't visit them around Christmas any more.