....to think that going on UC would be better than going back after maternity leave?

[TheDelorean81]

Long time lurker but this is my first post so please be nice to me :)

Basically I don’t know what to do. My little boy is two months old and I’ve starting to look at what will happen when I go back to work next spring. After costing up childcare in the area I’m in I’d basically be paying to go back! We’d lose my entire income from the family pot.

My partner works different shifts each week so finding a different job to work around his so we can share childcare is out of the question.

My question is this. Would I be unreasonable to go on Universal Credit for a year (ish) until the free childcare element kicks in and I can afford it? Or until my partner can find a better job to support us? Or until I can find a better job that works? My family and my partners family are all saying I should (they’re all very high earners and reckon I’m should make use some of their taxes....not sure what to say to that!), but I just feel that it’s not what benefits are there for?

But in the same vein I’m struggling to see another option.

Anyone else here with personal experience?

For the record I have no problem with SAHP’s being a thing if they can afford their lifestyle on one wage! I am due to have baby number 2 in feb 2020 and I may have to quit work or go down to 2-3 days in order to afford childcare.

My DD turns 3 in September 2021.. I will be able to increase my hours at work again then but in the meantime to quit a job which apparently according to you.. @TheDelorean81 anyone can do.. I would be making if difficult for myself to get back into a job which apparently anyone can walk into!! So if I quit a call centre job which people don’t need qualifications for then I would make it difficult for myself to get back into that kind of role.

You are being unreasonable OP!

I returned back to work after maternity. We were much worse off due to child care costs than we were when I was on maternity!
YANBU to take a year off, universal credit will only nudge you to get a job when baby turns 2.

I don't know how many more times I can scream that it was an unfortunate use of words that I'm seriously sorry for!! Of course working women still raise their children.

But it wasn't just an unfortunate choice of words plucked from nowhere. It is a trope, trotted out. You didn't say them in a vacuum. There are other similar tropes on here, on both sides.

Another consideration OP - your dc is only 2mo. That's quite a different kettle of fish to a toddler. Loving being at home with a tiny baby doesn't necessarily mean you'd love 24/7 with a toddler.

I found I was better with my toddler when I worked part time so we had a break from each other. I had more patience, perspective, appreciation of her.

You can take a little baby around with you wherever you want to go but life with a toddler can be really claustrophobic. They often just want you to themselves at home, playing the same games and reading the same books day in, day out.

I agree with PP you need to take the long view and keep working at least a bit, especially as you're not married.

Are you entitled to UC if you wilfully give up your job? Genuine question, I have no idea but I thought that you weren't.

Are you entitled to UC if you wilfully give up your job? Genuine question, I have no idea but I thought that you weren't.

Common sense would say no, but the OP seems sure she is entitled entitled here in more ways than one

With JSA if you left a job or were fired you couldn't claim for about 13 weeks. Not sure if UC is the same. I reckon it is as it is harsher than JSA.

OP, going by your first OP, I do believe that you have been looking for solutions. It does sound like You've work out you'd be genuinely better off not working. I do think that it is very realistic that there are places in the UK where childcare is indeed astronomical making two parents at work ft not financially viable.

However I think it's a bit disingenuous to act like you'd rather be at work if you could when you clearly have plans to study which suits you and when you go on about how much better it is for babies to be at home with their mum.

In the end, your focus is very narrow minded, is. be on benefits, study and a much better job will come. Not sure what study you have in mind, but studying takes time and having a diploma without experience in your mid to late 40s doesn't guarantee you that nice job at all especially when you also start looking for flexible arrangements.

Has your oh asked if he could have more set shifts? Has he look for other jobs with such shifts? There are definitely other ways to look at your dilemma but it doesn't come across 5hst you've considered these options or have any interest in doing so.

You many be better of short term on UC, but what about long term?

What if you can’t find a job? Or have to go back to entry level? Or can’t find part time/ school hours?

What about your pension? A year of pension credits adds up to a fair amount.

What about both or you doing part time?

Although I would have been “better off” on UC short term, taking pension, incremental salary increase etc into account i was in fact better off staying in work full time, and taking out an interest free credit card for some breathing space, and switching to interest only mortgage.

Once the kids were at school finances became far easier again and soon got back to where they were. Had i given up work we’d likely still be on one income as 3 years out in my industry/area is difficult to get back in to.

It seems to be you seeking flexible work arrangements and the childcare being paid from your wage. Your husband should be looking at solutions too.

It seems to be you seeking flexible work arrangements and the childcare being paid from your wage. Your husband should be looking at solutions too

It is always “my wage doesn’t cover childcare so it’s not worth me working”

Childcare for some reason is never looked at from a household income perspective.

As pp said the hidden costs of giving up work like pension contributions etc usually mean it isn’t worth it in the long run. But that is never taken into account.

There also always seems to be a 'when DC go to school I can go back to work' thought process in these decisions.

We found nursery easy, expensive, but easy. They operate from 7.30am -6pm and rarely close.

School, opens 8.50 - 2.50. Breakfast club starts at 8am and after school club finishes at 4.50pm. There are no local childminders who do drop off or pick up at out school.

So now we're paying £240 a month for wrap around care and we have to trade off shifts so DH starts work at 7am and I do drop off, I start at 9am and DH does pick up.

There are 13 weeks of holidays to cover and numerous parents 'evening' between 3pm and 5pm, assemblies at 9.30am, school productions, trips.....

If you don't put the infrastructure in place to work now and gain the will with your company to support flexible working etc, it seems unlikely you'll be able to do it then.

@carolinelucaseshandbag you are if you have dependent children of a certain age.

Absolutely, never EVER rely on a man to support you ESPECIALLY when unmarried. Insane, crazy risk. And absolutely do not rely on the state either, the Tories will cut benefits further soon.

Support yourself. Always.

Sorry but YABVVU. I would have loved to stay home with DS but the fact is I couldn't as I couldn't afford to. Instead I have to drop him off every morning in order for someone else to raise him .

I agree benefits are there to help people in need, but I don't consider you to be one of those people. If everyone did what you were considering then the government would very soon run out of money.

Also, for the record you haven't paid in nearly enough to cover a year on UC. You're on minimum wage and have been working for less than 20 years. That's absolutely peanuts in taxes once you consider you're paying for essential services you've been using.

I would be concerned that any change in government might change UC entitlement. I wouldn't want to live based on the whim of government policy if I could avoid it (which sadly lots of people can't). I'm not sure that you can just resign from a job and immediately get full universal credit for all circumstances. You need to seek advice.

As a SAHM for 5 years and being married for many more than that, as a family we felt vulnerable if DH ended up out of work. Despite having lots of excellent experience prior to being at home, I found it hard to get a job (had loads of interviews) because school hour/term time jobs are heavily over applied for and without recent relevant experience it's hard to have something to talk about at interview. Please do ensure you are volunteering or something if you stop working.

There is a cost to re-training, not just money but time. Online courses are cheaper but do your research to ensure you're getting what you think you are. If it's a bargain, then there's a reason why.

@Mammabee20

Leaving your 1 year old from 7:30am - 5.30pm in order to work in a call centre isn’t noble. I think it’s quite sad actually. Children that age don’t need ‘money to do things with’, they just need individual time and affection.

You’ve been duped.

I absolutely agree with @TorysSuckRevokeArticle50 regarding school age childcare.

Leaving your 1 year old from 7:30am - 5.30pm in order to work in a call centre isn’t noble. I think it’s quite sad actually. Children that age don’t need ‘money to do things with’, they just need individual time and affection.

No but equally they can benefit from not sitting in front of CBeebies for hours a day, which is what many SAHMs on Facebook etc moan about or jokingly say they do. The fun/educational things they do at a childminders or nursery, with their resources, is not to be sniffed at.

*Today 20:36 PurpleCrazyHorse

Despite having lots of excellent experience prior to being at home, I found it hard to get a job (had loads of interviews) because school hour/term time jobs are heavily over applied for and without recent relevant experience it's hard to have something to talk about at interview. Please do ensure you are volunteering or something if you stop working.*

Definitely agree with purple on this. I was a SAHM for 15 years. I ran a parent and toddler group voluntarily and worked odd jobs to fit in around the children like mystery shopping, leaflet distribution and in-store demonstrating. It was invaluable when I went back to work as it meant that there were no substantial gaps in my CV and I actually got the first job I applied for albeit it was in a different department that HR decided I would be more suitable for.

@Lycidas babies might not care about money, but they quite like a secure roof over their heads and food on the table. Would you think it was sad if the poster was working as a doctor instead of a call centre? Both are equal jobs that bring money into the household, but I bet you have an innate snobbery about it. It also matters what the mother wants to do (dads never get grief about going to work and stacking up their pension do they, so no point even arguing that point), working makes me a better mum. We have money to do things beyond staying in and walking to town, is that really markedly better for the child than being in a safe place with other children, activities, crafts etc? Socially and developmentally he has come on leaps and bounds. Each to their own, and I adore our time together, every moment of it, but I'm not convinced that just being at home with me with no money to do anything or other children to play with and learn from is the best thing. That's why 'working for nothing' isn't strictly true, in my opinion.

Oh, and by money to do things, I mean go swimming, go to see different places outdoors rather than the same 4 walls for most of the time, and experience new things, jump in the far to see family, go on weekends away such as the beach in the summer to experience the sounds and the sea. Spending money isn't always shallow ie new clothes or going to expensive baby groups.

Bippety but if OP isn't bringing in ANY money because her whole wage goes on childcare then she still won't have any extra.

The OP seems sensible, it's the other posts raving about how it's horrible and nasty to leave your child; in this case aimed at the poster who works in a call centre, no idea on financial situation.

but don't expect the country to pay for you to have the luxury of being a sahm.

My parents have worked their whole lives and they wouldn't begrudge someone benefits to be a Sahm if working means paying your whole wage in childcare, essentially paying to not be with your kid