Help- found ecstasy in dd’s room

[Potatopots]

At a loss on what to do. Dd went out last night and took my house key with her (she lost hers)- I’m heading out now and couldn’t find my key on the hook so checked her jacket pocket and found my key as well as a baggie containing 2 ecstasy pills. She’s still asleep but what do I do? Wake her up and confront her? Wait until she’s woken up and ask her about them? Leave them on her bedside table for her to see when she wakes up and see what she does before I ask her?

@TriangularRatbag exactly. They use numbing drugs not sociable, happy, fun drugs.

DH and I have always had a zero tolerance drugs policy, and the boys have always been in no doubt as to that. I know DSS1 took no notice but DSS2 and DS are both vehemently anti drugs too because their big brother is a bit of a no hoper at 38 - sofa surfing, SS removed his kids, single, never had a job. That's not really because of drugs, more he had a shit childhood because of a life threatening health condition meaning he was in hospital most of the time, his mum abandoned him aged 6 and he was hardly ever at school so has no qualifications. But neither of his little brothers want to risk their futures, as they associate the drug scene with his lifestyle.

I wouldn't be as relaxed as any of the posters on here suggesting pills are fine. I would be disappointed and scared, because Leah Betts was a cautionary tale when I was a teen and although one of my nieces was a real pill head and has survived, she has crippling anxiety and thinks it's because of all the drugs. I might just be really square and out of touch but I couldn't be cool with drugs.

I hear everyone's advice but I would be fucking furious

@changeforprivacy

Ah don't you that ecstas

We haven't all dabbled actually. I've never touched anything and either has DH. I don't actually know a single person that dabbled and doesn't now either smoke weed at least and still dabble in harder stuff, has a great career and a social services free life. I was brought up in a working class area and dabbling was a slippery slope. I can imagine it's much different in middle class areas where more money is available and they actually have more reliable sources and use it purely to 'have fun' but in my experience, the people around me that were dabbling, were trying to escape something and none of them have done well. So my attitude was avoid, avoid, avoid. In fact, my dad told me at 15 years old if I took any pills or powders, I'd have a 50/50 chance of dying and once I took it, there was no way to make the effects stop until it wore off so if I wanted to have zero control over my body and mind and risk death, I could fill my boots. I never did. I'll be telling my DS the same thing when he's a teenager

Sorry - ignore partial post

She clearly can’t be trusted. I would stop all pocket money and privileges. I would be tempted to ring the non-emergency police line too for advice re: recreational drug use. In many ‘county lines’ places they will often send police officers round to understand where / who they bought the drugs from etc

Is it just the one poster of thinking of trying the police - or even the school?

@Aridane - am I seriously the only one who recommended calling the police? Just goes to show MN are full of wankers half the time - can’t believe the many idiotic parents on this thread who would let their kids get away with doing ecstasy.

@Aridane

Maybe you could explain why you tagged me?

Hi Grumpy, no I wouldn't recommend the police. I can't see how getting your darling child a criminal record would begin to help.

Ecstacy is one of the safest recreational drugs out there. It doesnt mean its risk free. Anyone can be unlucky. We need proper effective drugs education in this country thats based on actual reality of what goes on and harm reduction, as abstinence based education doesnt work for all, and then the people who will do it, dont have proper knowledge about what theyre doing.
We also have a binge/get off your face culture which is the major problem with ALL drugs in the UK including alcohol - ESPECIALLY alcohol.
God, if a few kids knew that actually half an E would give them a good cheap night, and to drink water, but not to overdo it, then maybe, just maybe we wouldnt have people deciding to neck 3 Es when theyve never had it before and drink gallons because theyve not had any sensible non-hysterical education on it, or get so pissed they need their stomach pumped etc
To know that it lowers your inhibitions and makes you trusting, so therefore you need to be amongst trusted people or have someone keeping an eye.

E is massively widely used, and statistically it is far from the worst thing they could be doing, but I do think young people need to be educated because it seems to go one way or the other. Either terrified and would never do it and would shun people that did, or they go all out party monsters which is of course dangerous whatever your drug of choice

Id say most people I know have done it at some point, often frequently in our teens and 20s, and those of us in our 40s and 50s now dont do it anymore, but have completely normal lives with jobs and families

Oh I am so sorry. I am so scared about this.

Do you know any police? My dad was on the drug squad for a while and he told me stories that scared the hell out of me

@aggitatedstate I am glad your brother got his life back together, I know he can never recover the time lost.
Some people can't deal with reality it is easier to be out if it for them.
Can I ask a drug question admittedly I took ecstasy many moons ago. Is ecstasy just MDNA I thought it was acid and mdna, I thought MDNA was a white and brown speckled power if I remember right?

thought MDMA was a white and brown speckled power if I remember right? - yes that's correct

@Fizzypoo you are too irresponsible to be a parent.

@Emeraldshamrock Ecstasy is usually predominantly MDMA. It's sometimes includes psychedelics like LSD, sometimes synthetic cathinones like mephedrone, sometimes just caffeine. It's also impossible to know what the MDMA content is - it can be anything from 80mg to over 300mg. This is why drug testing is a good idea. The main risk to users is not knowing exactly what they're taking.

@TriangularRatbag - huge misconception. Recreational drug use doesn’t warrant charges especially in county lines areas (which I mentioned) because the police want to catch the dealers. I know this from experience when DC’s daughter then only 15 came back to mine from a concert with ecstasy in her pocket (it fell out when I put her coat up). The police were really helpful and while they did put the fear of god in her, they were more interested in finding the dealer

Fair point grumpy

@81Byerley you are wrong about @Fizzypoo the post is very accurate!!!

@Fizzypoo sounds like an excellent parent to me.

All of this ‘droogs are bad - end up heroin addict or dead’ talk sounds like absolute horsehit to young people - and possibly to the majority of people who have taken drugs happily until they stopped.

If you want them to pay attention you need to not be dramatic or idiotic

To the ‘I will not have drugs in my house’ types - what will you do then?
Throw her out? Send her to live with those using drugs? Make her lie and pretend?

Support, open communication and informed conversation is key

Kind of agree @RonaldMcDonald my DB's 16 year heroin addiction was to mask the emotional pain and trauma, he was dying inside.

@Fizzypoo nails it ... the gateway to addiction is trauma, neglect and inner pain.

I think if he'd never tried drugs, he wouldn't have carried on. Not everyone who drinks ends up an alcoholic and not everyone who takes drugs ends up a hopeless heroin addict.

In many areas drug possession of MDMA will get you a police record.
Having drugs or drug paraphernalia which might make it look like you had an intent to supply is where it gets much more clear cut and serious

Please be very careful before informing the police about your child’s recreational drug use or you could make, what might be a toe in the water, a lasting problem

Great post @Fizzypoo

When I was in school we had those anti-drug groups come in and try to scare us, they did little plays and embarrassing stuff like that.

As a bunch of 15-year-olds, we all thought it was ridiculous. Being told "if you do drugs you will end up homeless or dead" means nothing to teenagers because they know it's not true. They're not completely stupid. So when you go over the top, they just end up not believing anything you say.