Help- found ecstasy in dd’s room

[Potatopots]

At a loss on what to do. Dd went out last night and took my house key with her (she lost hers)- I’m heading out now and couldn’t find my key on the hook so checked her jacket pocket and found my key as well as a baggie containing 2 ecstasy pills. She’s still asleep but what do I do? Wake her up and confront her? Wait until she’s woken up and ask her about them? Leave them on her bedside table for her to see when she wakes up and see what she does before I ask her?

Being told "if you do drugs you will end up homeless or dead" means nothing to teenagers because they know it's not true.

Except that my DS knows it is true, because he knows people who it's happened to.

Being told "if you do drugs you will end up homeless or dead" means nothing to teenagers because they know it's not true.

Except that my DS knows it is true, because he knows people who it's happened to.

It's possible that if you have such faulty reasoning skills they're congenital I guess

It's possible that if you have such faulty reasoning skills they're congenital I guess grin

I would not contact the police although I would flush it. Like many others, over the top reactions help no one. Indeed, proportionate warnings didn't help me - the warnings over paracetamol od and liver failure and death and affects on respiratory system and breathing.... Well even now, after the sensible part of me says that's correct - a big part of me pooh poohs that. Because no I don't want 5o die, but I also tho k I'm invincible and won't. Sane with the breathing. I know my breathing is affected yet I decided drs were exaggerating.

Present ant health warnings you want, and even if they're correct, I guarantee no drug user will stop off the back of it.

The only person I know who has long-term effects from drugs is a former public school boy. Most of my peers at school and uni were smoking weed and doing coke - the occasional pill also. The only bad results were a friend getting chucked out of a club for weeing everywhere when off his face on coke.

I grew up with Leah Betts as a cautionary tale. Most of these approaches wouldn't have worked with me, because like most teens, I believed myself to be invincible.

Obviously you alone know your daughter, but I think you need to take the measured approach of as she's nearly an adult you can't police her forever but she needs to be safe. While she's clear and sober, can she 'humour' you and read some news articles or something (this one which @changeforprivacy also posted is good - also features your little lego pills @Potatopots) but I'd honestly caution against going in with either the 'I'm your mate, I used to do drugs when I was young' or the 'you're going to DIE you're going to be a CRIMINAL' approaches. They'll just alienate her from you.

This is useful to read though, my children aren't that age yet, but I have no doubt that I'll have to have these conversations at some point.

PS - I was extremely anti-drugs and smoking as a teen to my parents. They never knew the truth!

"Pills are a happy drug that makes music feel better."

Yes, of course they are. And the organizations selling them are just like Santa Clause, they do it with a philantropic purpose. They don't use profits from drug trafficking to fund other illegal businesses like pimping and money laundering.

I'm quite frankly surprised that so many people in their 40s and above seem okay with taking illegal drugs, and that everyone they knew who took them is settled and successful. I'm 27 and never taken any drugs at all. Must have gone to the wrong uni.

OP, talk to her clearly, she's young and has no idea what crap is in those pills or others on the market. There is a reason they are illegal.

@Aridane- am I seriously the only one who recommended calling the police? Just goes to show MN are full of wankers half the time - can’t believe the many idiotic parents on this thread who would let their kids get away with doing ecstasy.

Especially considering that if you land on a food thread half of them will tell you that white sugar is tantamount to child abuse. Maybe a few lines of cocaine would be an healthier option?

or get so pissed they need their stomach pumped etc

Again, it was proven stomach pumping did more harm than good and was stopped over 20 years ago.

Not relevant but shows again how many medical myths there are out there.

I’m a scientist. I’ve told my kids exactly what drugs do to their bodies. As pp said once it’s in your system you can’t get it out and nothing can stop you dying.

The legal highs are horrendous, cheap nasty and has brought on psychosis. The synthetic cannibas spice I think causes user to go bonkers yet young people assume it is like weed.
Education is key.
Teens and users need facts to stay safe.

Teens and users need facts to stay safe.

Spot on @Emeraldshamrock

The problem is when people start manufacturing "facts" and exaggerating for effect in order to scare kids off drugs they will simply discount you as a source of information. Telling kids that masturbation would make them go blind didn't work so well either

“There is a reason they are illegal”

What reason?
Or more specifically, what reason that wouldn’t be alleviated by regulating them?

This is really worrying. Have you spoken to your DD yet? Will you? I really wouldn’t know what to do or how I would react.
You might never know if she actually consumed any of these tablets or if she is keeping them to sell on. Did someone gift them to her and now she owes them money?
From what I understand, a lot of drugs are cut with substances whuch make them way, way more potent than they would have been 20-30 years ago and mixing this stuff with alcohol can be fatal or cause long term damage.
My limited knowledge comes from various school talks at schools for parents where we’d have a local policeman telling us where certain areas are high risk etc.

I'm amazed by the attitude that drugs aren't really a biggie for x, y, and z reasons, and that you're just an ignorant, boring pearl-clutcher if you disagree.

And then there's this blasé thing of, "Ah, well, they're young. They're going to do it no matter what you say." Well, it may be true that if they're determined enough, they'll find a way to use drugs, but that doesn't mean you should just shrug your shoulders and practically tell them to get on with it.

I think this is a fight worth having, OP. It's not a good life choice, however you look at it, and I'd do all I could to put a stop to it. It's not worth the risk for the momentary high-- not when there's so much else to enjoy in life.

“There is a reason they are illegal”

Spot on.

The reason is that the Daily Mail goes into thermonuclear meltdown at the first hint of anything else

Sorry Potatopots just read the previous update (I must have missed the page when reading through the thread).
She was clearly avoiding a discussion so she went out (unless she had a club or work today).
It must be hard, but try your best to remain calm and approach the subject again when you are next with her in the car so she can’t run away. U less you find a better opportunity tonight.

I'm amazed by the attitude that drugs aren't really a biggie for x, y, and z reasons, and that you're just an ignorant, boring pearl-clutcher if you disagree

Maybe you're amazed because you're reading things that nobody said? Where did anyone say you're boring or a pearl-clutcher if you're concerned about drug use?

but that doesn't mean you should just shrug your shoulders and practically tell them to get on with it.

Where did anyone say that?

Ex took a dodgy ecstacy tablet on a night out and died pretty horribly. Folk saying ecstacy is fun, recreational or harmless got lucky. He used to think that too and would have dismissed his own story as an unfortunate 'one-off' and said the risk was worth a good night out. His mum is a ghost of her former self after his death at 19. It's selfish, risky and not worth it for a bit of a high in my personal opinion.

If she wants to continue I agree talk to her about batch testing kits before using etc. and remind her how precious she is to you more than anything.

@fernandoanddenise

Drug trafficking execerbate the knife crime epidemics the newpapers love to tell us about. Drug dealers use and abuse people who are involved with them.

Countries were drugs are produced and shipped from have some of the highest rates of violence in the world, with innocent civilians being involved. Or you think drug mules are happy? But hey, it's okay to snort some cocaine for recreational use, swallow a few pills as a rite of passage for your bored teens in the UK.

Don't give a damn if your darlings are using drugs safely, by buying them you are supporting criminals.

I would be devastated if any of my children were doing any sort of drugs. Try to stay calm and if not already spoken to her by now have a conversation just you and her and explain your concerns. Explain something she might find harmless could end very badly - her body might have a terrible reaction leaving her disabled, she could die and the people caught up in drug trade are often victims.

Speak to one of the drug helplines and get their advice even if she tells you they are someone else’s/she’s only taken it once etc she will thank you for it in end and least you know you’ve tried to prevent harm to her.

To all the people saying it’s fine teenagers experiment please look at the consequences of drug use. My dad was a dealer and put drugs in front of his children. I remember being a young child and the only places he used to take us/spend any time with us was to deliver drugs and we were clearly his cover. Kids used to come to us and say your dad deals drugs and it was embarrassing. Plus there are people I know that are dead because of drugs and some have left children/family members that are left grieving and wondering why they wouldn’t put them ahead of drug use.

This might be outing in our teens a friend died from an ecstasy overdose her body was twisted with spasms.
Another girl died, the consequences meant her dealer got shot, unfortunately an innocent woman was shot with him. It was rumoured the male shot was not her dealer at all but blamed for it.
I spent many years caught up with recreational drugs, the drugs are a small part of the drama they create, the deaths caused, young men arrested then getting shot by their superior.
I would be extremely hurt if or when my DC do drugs as I see now the big corrupt power hungry mess they bring.

I would be devastated if any of my children were doing any sort of drugs

I would be extremely hurt if or when my DC do drugs as I see now the big corrupt power hungry mess they bring

Agreed. Problem is alcohol is so ingrained in our culture and they all feel so much peer-pressure to go pubs, bars and nightclubs, etc, with their friends, it's really difficult. We've had so many big fights about it.

I just want to jump in and say I'm over 65 and when I was young we all took speed - I was 16-17. It was for weekends only. We had a great time. I loved it. Thanks to FB we all found each other even though we are scattered to the four corners of the earth, and we're all responsible people. Grandparents, dog walking retirees, world travelers etc.

I don't drink, smoke or do drugs - only prescription meds and I've had a successful good life.

My son had a mushroom experience at Uni and also smoked weed. He told me about it at the time.

@PeggySuehadababy yes that’s true of cocaine and many other drugs but ecstasy (the drug in question here) is a lab made drug, and isn’t always muled in from abroad. It’s a drug that could easily be regulated, tested and sold responsibly. In its pure form it doesn’t pose a physical risk. In fact it’s been proposed as being used legally to help depression.

I’m not being facetious but my strong belief is that I’d rather my children took ecstasy safely than were told ‘all drugs are bad’ and had no practical understanding.
Also, that by regulating drugs we would end all the awful practices you outline.
Anyway - this isn’t helping the OP who’s had great advice. We must all parent in the way we think right - and good luck to all mothers of teens!

*I honestly wouldn't be worried if my dd was taking pills. They are not addictive, they are fun and sociable
*
I would be worried. I have a friend who died after taking a dodgy e pill. He dehydrated and each of his organs shut down one by one. His Mum and Dad had to watch him die and it wasn't a pleasant or fast death.
I don't know enough about pills to know if they are addictive or not but that's neither here nor there it takes ONE dodgy pill to kill you and that's enough to worry me if my child was taking them.
There are also other risks when taking pills, going on a trip and jumping off a balcony because you think you can fly for example.
They may be 'fun and social' but is it really worth taking the risk?

*Lots posters dabbled with ecstasy included myself in the early 2000's they are here to tell the tale.
*
Well then you are one of the lucky ones. These pills are full of shit these days... not sure if they were any better in the 2000s. It's not worth the risk!