Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 ··· 14 15

Original poster

Help- found ecstasy in dd’s room

354 replies

Potatopots · 30/11/2019 08:49

At a loss on what to do. Dd went out last night and took my house key with her (she lost hers)- I’m heading out now and couldn’t find my key on the hook so checked her jacket pocket and found my key as well as a baggie containing 2 ecstasy pills. She’s still asleep but what do I do? Wake her up and confront her? Wait until she’s woken up and ask her about them? Leave them on her bedside table for her to see when she wakes up and see what she does before I ask her?

OP posts:

Greatorb · 30/11/2019 09:23

Playing devils advocate here, fact is you found the pills, which means she hasn't taken them.

Chances are she was holding them for a friend, was given them or under pressure to buy but didnt want to take them.

SexlessBoulderBelly · 30/11/2019 09:23

Shocked at the number of comments who are almost trying to normalise taking illegal drugs, which are always in the news for killing teens.

I agree to stay calm, but I would be confronting her. But needs to be done in a way she won’t cut her nose off to spite her face after a falling out with you.

Be upfront, let her know your concerns. If it was a one off just wanted to try it. Then ok. But if it’s something she does for a buzz on a night out regular then she does need to be so so careful about what is in them and where she is getting them.

MajesticWhine · 30/11/2019 09:24

At 17 I certainly wouldn't make a huge drama out of it

this ^
I would probably throw them away on the basis they are illegal. And I might have a conversation with her about the dangers of not knowing what you're taking.

Savingforarainyday · 30/11/2019 09:25

I honestly wouldn't be worried if my dd was taking pills. They are not addictive, they are fun and sociable

Yeah, tell her that

SmellMySmellbow · 30/11/2019 09:26

My biggest worry with drugs these days are the number of research chemicals on the market that purport to be coke, ecstasy etc but really, you have no fucking clue what they are. Whereas we know the dangers of cocaine and MDMA and how they work on the body, you cannot know what you're taking these days unless it's been tested. So I'd definitely clue her in on that...

PoodleJ · 30/11/2019 09:26

“I honestly wouldn't be worried if my dd was taking pills. They are not addictive, they are fun and sociable”
I’m not sure how old you are but back in the late 1990’s there was a really sad case a young lady called Leah Betts. She died, it wasn’t fun and it wasn’t sociable.

Morgan12 · 30/11/2019 09:27

How do you know its E's?

Dollywilde · 30/11/2019 09:27

MDMA/ecstasy really isn’t a huge problem imo but the associated dangers (putting yourself in a vulnerable position wrt sexual assault, the risk of it being cut with something harmful, the risk of getting caught and getting in trouble with police + impact on education) are.

I would have a frank discussion about the downsides, risk minimisation and how to keep yourself safe.

I took MDMA at uni and in my early 20s and have no regrets at all. By 26/27 the comedowns just weren’t worth it any more and I had a serious job where I couldn’t get away with being out of action until Wednesday! Now in a very well paid professional career, haven’t taken mdma in years, happily married etc. I actually think mdma is less harmful than alcohol, as someone who has seen alcohol kill three times in her close family.

Basically, while I wouldn’t hit the roof, I’d talk around the associated risks and try and sound her out as an adult.

pinkyredrose · 30/11/2019 09:27

How do you know it's ecstasy?

EntropyRising · 30/11/2019 09:27

I honestly wouldn't be worried if my dd was taking pills. They are not addictive, they are fun and sociable

Dear me. I've taken more than my fair share of pills, I'm not scandalised by drugs, but things have changed. I'd be very worried.

Emeraldshamrock · 30/11/2019 09:28

Shocked at the number of comments who are almost trying to normalise taking illegal drugs, which are always in the news for killing teens
Though the teens know they are not killing teens.
1000's take E on a Saturday a small percentage die from a bad batch.
She will see that as hysteria.
Lots posters dabbled with ecstasy included myself in the early 2000's they are here to tell the tale.

EntropyRising · 30/11/2019 09:28

How do you know it's ecstasy?

I'm guessing it's pills with a little smily face or similar in a bag with a marajuana leaf on it, or something along these lines.

TheNameGames · 30/11/2019 09:29

Herja, no offence, given your post and personal experience with your friends, but it sounds so patronising and has an air of “do as I say, not what I did”. I hardly knew anyone that drank alcohol when doing ecstasy so it’s a rare case, like your unfortunate friends, and you do not know if suicides were directly linked to the cause of ecstasy. Aside from a come down I don’t see how anyone would have “mental health issues” over doing ecstasy on a night out. The comedown the next day is horrible but unless someone was feeling suicidal anyway, it takes a lazy day of feeling like crap and not wanting to do anything before you’re over it ready for next weekend. And we’re similar in age.

The above may make it sound like I still do it - I don’t! The last time was when I was 20, I’m now 33.

ewwsweatyunderboob · 30/11/2019 09:29

Did no one else see the Leah Betts video at school? Obviously she is ok now but I’m very shocked people are being sort of blase about this.

SmellMySmellbow · 30/11/2019 09:29

Show her The Loop account on twitter so she can see how many dodgy batches there are out there. I would be infinitely less worried if it were tested pure mdma.

Dragongirl10 · 30/11/2019 09:29

I was not being patronising towards homeless people and have been involved in helping some....many of whom want to tell their stories to prevent other going down a dangerous route..l have seen first hand how drugs have led to the saddest stories of people losing everything and ending up homeless..

My Dc have been shown the other side of drugs, and it has been an important lesson, far better than thinking its a cool and acceptable part of life.

Oysterbabe · 30/11/2019 09:30

I'd throw them away and talk to her calmly about drug use, maybe mentioning Louella Fletcher

Butterbeeeen · 30/11/2019 09:30

A 17 year old girl local to me died at a festival from taking ecstasy. Try telling her family that it's all ok and it's not addictive and harmless. I also know many people who have taken drugs and are still alive but as a parent I know which side of the story I will be presenting to my kids.

Dollywilde · 30/11/2019 09:32

@PoodleJ while I agree Leah’s case is and was shocking and heartbreaking, the fact that 25 years on we can remember the name of one of the minute number of people who have died this way proves how rare it really is. As I say, with 7,500 deaths from alcohol in the UK each year alone (so over 175k in the period since Leah’s death) I really would caution against hysteria. Yes we’d all rather our children never touched a single drug, legal or otherwise, in the their lifetimes. But if we are to be realistic and recognise they likely will, we need to try and be clear headed about the facts rather than be blinded by societal norms and a non-harm-based drugs policy.

LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett · 30/11/2019 09:32

I'm nearly 50 and haven't taken a drug for decades but I'm rolling my eyes so hard at the Leah Bett comments. Don't go down that road. 17 year olds are invincible, in their own heads - she knows E doesn't kill people.

You need to have a calm, measured chat. It is illegal - so if she's caught, there are certain professions that won't be open to her, it's probably cut with all sorts of shite, while it's a 'nice' drug the people selling it certainly won't be, etc etc.

TheNameGames · 30/11/2019 09:32

@ewwsweatyunderboob
Did no one else see the Leah Betts video at school? Obviously she is ok now

What?

ewwsweatyunderboob · 30/11/2019 09:34

@TheNameGames if you think I’m saying Leah Betts is ok - I’m not. I mean the DD is ok as in what happened to Leah didn’t happen to her. Just re-read and looks confusing!

Original poster

Potatopots · 30/11/2019 09:34

I don’t think that because she’s 17 it’s okay- a dead 17 year old daughter is no better than a dead 15 year old daughter. I know all the statistics about it being safer than horse riding or whatever other comparison someone has made but at least when you horse ride you know you’re getting on a horse.
She’s still asleep- think I will be in the kitchen and have them out on the table and see what she says first

OP posts:

EntropyRising · 30/11/2019 09:34

I was not being patronising towards homeless people and have been involved in helping some....many of whom want to tell their stories to prevent other going down a dangerous route..

Homeless people on the main want to still talk to people, just like everyone else. This may or may not involve 'telling their story'. it's nothing like what you suggest and shame on you for telling people to bring their children to Victoria to hear first hand about drug abuse. Please.

kalinkafoxtrot45 · 30/11/2019 09:34

Have a proper talk to her. Tell her that you can never know what is in these pills, and also whose pocket the money goes into higher up the chain. She’s contributing funds to seriously dodgy people.

You found the pills though - that means she didn’t take them.

BTW am I the only one who didn’t touch E in the 90s? Never really appealed and didn’t like rave music or clubs.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 ··· 14 15