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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

DH stuck on the M5... help!

324 replies

NannaNoodleman · 29/11/2019 17:45

It turns out DH's breakdown cover isn't worth a Mars Bar!

He's broken down on the M4/M5 junction.

They're sending out a recovery truck but he has to tell them where to tow him to which has to be a local garage.

Any recommendations??

I need to get the kids packed into the car to go and pick him up... not quite how any of wanted to spend Friday night.

OP posts:

TryingToBeBold · 30/11/2019 20:28

I REALLY hope that some of you slating OPs husband break down. And loved ones tell you they cant make it out.. and you'll have to deal with it yourselves.
For hours.
In the freezing cold.

speakout · 30/11/2019 20:46

TryingToBeBold

lol.

speakout · 30/11/2019 20:51

I REALLY hope that some of you slating OPs husband break down. And loved ones tell you they cant make it out.. and you'll have to deal with it yourselves.
For hours.
In the freezing cold.
So it is a better option for the parent at home to drive 160 miles( 5 hours I guess) with two tiny ones in the car rather than a grown adult to sort themselves out?
Are some grown ups so inept and hapless?

spanglydangly · 30/11/2019 20:58

@speakout you forgot to use the term drag the children out!

Children are tiny, OP said they were used to long journeys, so can't be that tiny, also they would have slept in the car, also five hours for 160 miles, that's very slow, particularly for motorway driving .... but of course it all gives a much worse sounding scenario, so it's worth embellishing the story, with all the exaggerations.

spanglydangly · 30/11/2019 21:03

And* your kids- will they welcome. being stuffed in a car to drive a few hundred miles to rescue your poor Oh?
*
This was also a post of yours @speakout are you always so prone to massive exaggeration? A few hundred? It wasn't even two hundred!

TryingToBeBold · 30/11/2019 21:03

Its amazing just how much kids sleep on car journeys...

Grownups arent inept and hapless.
But we are humane.
And bugger all wrong with HELPING each other.
Maybe some grownups are just selfish and unable to think of helping anyone but themselves.

Tojigornot · 30/11/2019 21:04

On a Friday night in August that stretch of the M5 could take 5 hours. It’s not August though. It’s probably a 2.5 hr round trip.

I would have done this for DP, and he would for me. He did a very similar trip once to bring me something I had left at his house. Relationships are different but I know which kind I want to be in.

CheeryB · 30/11/2019 21:06

He wouldn't want to bother me with problem of his- 80 miles away when he knows I am at home with two young kids

Same. My DH travels a lot for work and this has happened a couple of times. He's a very capable man.

TryingToBeBold · 30/11/2019 21:08

The original plan.. was hubby was going to be dropped at a garage 50 miles away from home.
So you want him to wait 4 hours for recovery.
Dropped off 50 miles away from home had it gone ahead.
And then make his own way back. When OP could have picked him up and been home in 3 hours (say motorway driving the whole way). And the kids would have slept most of the way.

If it takes you 5 hours to drive 160 miles on the motorway.. I can see why you obviously wouldn't go out.
Some of us would be (given clear roads) there and back in less than 3.
Maybe dont offer to pick anyone up. Ever.
I'd rather wait for recovery and freeze than wait for you to drive at snails pace to pick me up.

Oh. One more point.
People make bloody mistakes

Original poster

NannaNoodleman · 30/11/2019 22:05

I see making it to "Hot Threads" has drawn the opinionated back in!

This thread was lovely company last night.

Some of these later posts are egocentric, lacking in any empathy, and ridiculous!

I'm so happy to hear of those posters whose husbands will "sort themselves out"... I'm not sure how it's relevant to my post... I wasn't asking that question.

I didn't feel "dragged out". 160 miles isn't a massive journey for us.

Our relationship is ours... we're happy with it... that was never a post. I wasn't uncertain over whether or not I would pick him up. I'd drive a lot further than 160 miles for that person, I'd drive further than that for my children, my parents, my friends... and I'm fine with that.

I don't care what other people's opinions are of helping people when it inconveniences you. I'm fine with it.

OP posts:

TryingToBeBold · 30/11/2019 22:36

@NannaNoodleman absolutely nothing wrong with helping out.
Some people must lead lonely.. lonely lives. Not being helped out when they're in need

IrregularCommentary · 30/11/2019 23:26

Missed the update after last night OP. Hope your dh got home ok and the car repair isn't expensive.

I'd have driven too fwiw, we're a team, why wouldn't you? Dd would have slept in the car and then gone back to bed when we got home. No drama.

Derbee · 01/12/2019 03:09

I REALLY hope that some of you slating OPs husband break down

Me too. And we can show you how adults behave when it happens.

If this was such a non event, OP, and you regularly do bigger drives etc etc, why were you posting here instead of you know, actually driving and picking up your husband? If he was competent and had managed to sort himself out, why ask for recommendations and title your post “help!”

Derbee · 01/12/2019 03:11

@TryingToBeBold being “in need” means different things to different people. The more competent posters have merely pointed out that breaking down on a motorway 160 miles away is lower than their bar of being “in need” and needing rescuing

spanglydangly · 01/12/2019 07:07

@derbee the OP asked for garage recommendations in her original post and throughout has said she'd not asking for opinions on her collecting him.

The more competent posters amongst us were able to understand that.

Ahardknocklife · 01/12/2019 10:31

@LensGlans am I controlling because I'm currently suffering with a flu virus and my DP has just made me breakfast and poured a bath for me?

OP youve done nothing wrong in my eyes. I thought having DH / DP etc meant you're part of a team and done things to support and help each other. In fact, just being generally nice and helping someone is what a lot of people seem to be missing nowadays. I'm pleased your DH got home safely.

Original poster

NannaNoodleman · 01/12/2019 13:17

Derbee, if you read the OP and the updates, all the information is there.

I can only think that you're so over invested in insulting my husband, whom I assume you have never met and are judging on this one event, because you're quite a miserable person in real life. Being competent doesn't correspond to happiness. I'm sorry you're unhappy.

Maybe having a partner who would "rescue you" might make you feel more secure, or would a tin foil blanket cheer you up? I'm sure DH wouldn't mind giving it away.

But seriously, be careful about how high you build your pedestal.

OP posts:

spanglydangly · 01/12/2019 13:25

@NannaNoodleman you'll see I already pointed that out to @derbee! Hopefully she'll now realise she made a mistake about the reason for this thread?

Incompetence at its finest.

Original poster

NannaNoodleman · 01/12/2019 14:13

@spanglydangly

OP posts:

Derbee · 02/12/2019 00:06

Ah, my mistake. Husband can’t google for local garages?

Derbee · 02/12/2019 00:09

Seriously, what a pathetic situation.

And it’s a bit hypocritical to be offended by being judged, and then judge me. I’m very happy, and I have a lovely DP who would have wanted to jump in the car and rescue me.

But I’m not a dick, so I wouldn’t need it. And the fact pathetic overreaction to a useless husband was silly in my opinion.

I’m firmly on the side of the normal reasonable people here. But you carry on

Derbee · 02/12/2019 00:11

PS you or your little terrier @spanglydangly are welcome to the last word. So crack on

spanglydangly · 02/12/2019 08:18

@derbee as OP said and you fail to be able to read because you clearly hate being wrong! THE OP asked for people to recommend a local garage, she felt that people nearby might have an idea of who in the area is good.

Oh course he could google, he had a working phone, couldn't t sit in his car to charge it so that he could look at reviews and of course it's well worth using the battery life to google reviews instead of preserve the battery? Of course your DH wouldn't say look I'm stick I'm on 50% battery I don't want to sit in the car as that dangerous, so I can't charge my phone, could you look at local garages and see who had good reviews? No of course he wouldn't because you'd be saying "not my problem", it's Friday and I'm watching coronation Street and you broke down, you can't get a decent t toe, get on with it!. But of course your DH probably always has a 100% charge, even then freezing on the side of the motorway is not the best place to read google reviews really.

It's not about the last word, it's about pointing out what is common sense and why your attitude is so wrong.

I don't suppose you will be back, but honestly you must see that sometimes you need to give a little? I certainly wouldn't want anyone risking trying to charge a phone in a car on the side of the motorway when I could do the job easily for them.

But hey we are all different and have different marriages!

spanglydangly · 02/12/2019 08:35

Tow not toe

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