DH stuck on the M5... help!

[NannaNoodleman]

It turns out DH's breakdown cover isn't worth a Mars Bar!

He's broken down on the M4/M5 junction.

They're sending out a recovery truck but he has to tell them where to tow him to which has to be a local garage.

Any recommendations??

I need to get the kids packed into the car to go and pick him up... not quite how any of wanted to spend Friday night.

Oh stop making yourself look silly by using a word made up to make women look as if they have more power than men.

WTF? Aren't all words "made up"? Do you access to a dictionary?

Pleased to read your dh is home safe and well. Your sentiments about making mistakes and being there for each other at times of crisis are how people in loving relationships should be. Ignore the spite.

Enjoy your weekend

oh good that they waived the fee,
cars are a bloody nuisance

**I would have gone and collected him if needs be, so don't think you're odd OP!

Some women on MN dislike their husbands or men for whatever reason.**

^This

Some of the replies on this thread are batshit, I feel really sorry for some posters partners, the fact they no doubt feel like they can't relay on them for help in sticky situations.
Cars break down, not everyone can afford to join a break down service, people make mistakes.

I know! Can you imagine how crap you'd feel if you called your partner from the side of a motorway with a broken down car, after a shit day, realising your breakdown policy is shite, with no coat, knowing you'd made a few misjudgements and mistakes and your partner says:

"You're an adult, sort yourself out, you stupid, useless good for nothing... Grow a pair and sort it all out yourself... I don't want to hear it"

Or probably worse than that: thinking "fuck, I better not tell my partner what happened today or she'll go ape shit at my incompetence"

I'm shocked that there are people who would sit in their car, while on a hard shoulder. People get killed doing that, which is why you're meant to get out and stand behind the barrier. I do hope they never drive on motorways, especially if they have children in the car.

Your husband is a selfish, controlling manchild, OP. Please, please make him sort himself out if he's ever in a situation like this again.

Seriously?! Can't work out if that's a joke post or not. I have a horrible feeling it isn't

Bit extreme. He’s probably just disorganised, and a bit dim.

Your husband is a selfish, controlling manchild, OP. Please, please make him sort himself out if he's ever in a situation like this again.

And you sound like a nasty piece of work. Most people love their husbands and are loved back. They care and protect one another and try to make their lives easier and happier. This time, her husband needed her and next time it could be the other way around. What a miserable life you must have if you just leave your husband, and presumably he leaves you, in your times of need. I pity you.

Georgie 👏

@Georgie normal people tend to have adequate breakdown cover, and a coat in winter. Granted, the OP’s help may well have been required, but a competent adult would have called and said “Hi, bit of a bugger. I’ve broken down on the motorway. Just waiting for the recovery truck, so I’ll be a bit late home”

If they found they didn’t have adequate breakdown cover, they’d have called the RAC, joined and been taken somewhere safe. And then arranged a private tow, or taxi to a car rental etc.

Multiple options that don’t need two young children to make the 160 mile journey as a first resort.

Of course you help your partner when it’s needed. It’s annoying to need help due to a serious of stupid decisions though

*series

Most people love their husbands and are loved back. They care and protect one another and try to make their lives easier and happier.

Yes- and that works both ways.

Caring for someone means putting yourself in their shoes and thinking about the impact requests or actions have.

My OH would not have asked me to drive 160 miles to rescue him- with two children to carry along, and I would not have expected him to do that either.

And that is because we DO care, about each other and about our children. We would sort ourselves out so that the partner at home caring for kids is not inconvenienced.
Because looking after yourself in a breakdown situation is not impossible, and if it had been me I would be puting the comfort of my partner and children on a greater footing.
I would say- stay home, carry on as normal, I can easily sort myself out without disrupting the family evening.
It woiuld be too big an ask, too big an expectation to think my OH would drive to rescue me.

Those who think that it is heartless have it wrong- we operate like this because we care. We care about the welfare of our partner and children.
My OH would not dream of asking me to rescue him in such a situation.
He would be a grown up- sort out the situation, find a rescue service, book into a local hotel if necessary.
And I would do the same.

@speakout exactly right. Thought I was going mad with all the hand-wringing on this thread

Everyone's marriage will have different boundaries and limits as to what one is prepared to do for the other. OP's DH isn't a 'selfish man child' because, in their marriage, his request falls within what they'd consider reasonable.

Derbee

I agree. I don't get the hand wringing either.
UK is a small place- this man was not stranded in the Gobi desert on foot.
There were many options available to him.
If this had happened to my OH he possible wouldn't have even contacted me until he had come up with a resolution.
Then a phone call- will be late/staying over at a hotel, whatever.
He wouldn't want to bother me with problem of his- 80 miles away when he knows I am at home with two young kids.

@speakout exactly.

But hey ho sanity prevailed in the end and DH got home safely all on his own.

@LensGlans do you actually think that the OPs husband planned this and he is controlling, you've got massive massive issues, you need help!

Why would you even say that?

I get that speakout I do. I actually don’t think either response is wrong if it’s done with care and love and communication. I don’t like the insinuation that he’s a manchild and abusive because she’s happy to go and help him.

My OH would not have asked me to drive 160 miles to rescue him- with two children to carry along, and I would not have expected him to do that either.

So I would ask my OH and he would ask me, different to you, but not wrong!

Those who think that it is heartless have it wrong- we operate like this because we care. We care about the welfare of our partner and children.
My OH would not dream of asking me to rescue him in such a situation.
He would be a grown up- sort out the situation, find a rescue service, book into a local hotel if necessary.
And I would do the same.

Nope not wrong, more giving, more loving, more caring but certainly not wrong! You're relationship is wrong, to cold, to hard, to distant.

I agree with speakout but I also think that calling the DH "controlling" is completely and utterly RIDICULOUS. In my opinion he is just a common or garden idiotic, overly dependent and slightly selfish man who failed to use his common sense (get proper breakdown cover, take coat with you in winter) and wanted his wife to rescue him, at great inconvenience to her and the children. He hasn't covered himself in glory, but he's not evil either. I can see why the OP wanted to help him, I think I would be exasperated with my DH in this situation but would also want to help. We are all conditioned to enable helpless men to one extent or the other. Sadly I think it is the inevitable fate of heterosexual women.

WTF? Aren't all words "made up"? Do you access to a dictionary?

Yes, but most of them actually have a sensible meaning behind them. Since women, as a group don’t have the same privilege as men as a group, it doesn’t make sense. You might as well say BAME people can be racist towards whites. It doesn’t work when it’s a more privileged group crying about a less privileged group. But we always get people jumping on nearly every thread to accuse women of such things, so you’re not unique.

You're relationship is wrong, to cold, to hard, to distant.

What do you mean spanglydangly