badly behaved toddler at Slimming World

[lindsayincroydon]

I go to Slimming World on Friday mornings, and I am finding it really good for losing weight. Our team leader is inspirational, and I love my meeting being in the morning and just around the corner from where I live.
The problem is this: there is a toddler aged about 2 and a half and he is very noisy during the lecture. I am deaf in one ear and when he is stomping around creating havoc, I cannot hear what the team leader is saying.
His mother takes no notice of him, in fact she smiles at him as though he is doing something cute.
I don't know if I should say that I have paid good money to attend the meeting, and it is not a mother and toddler group, but a serious group where other members are trying very hard to lose weight.
What do other people think? Should I say something?
thanks

I would definitely speak to the consultant.

I used to attend a SW group where there were kids running wild as it was just after school pick up time. After a few weeks I spoke to the consultant and said that if it continued then I would have to go to another group because I needed the support of the group but was finding that I was often leaving early or not staying at all because there were too many kids being disruptive.

The consultant was lovely and sent a message to all of her members that while it was an inclusive group for everyone, it was for adults and the group was meant to be a safe place for members to discuss personal issues and therefore children must be quiet and respectful of the group purpose. The leader offered to set up a children's area at the far end of the room with a few books/colouring books and space for older children to do homework so they were occupied away from the main group and anyone whose child became disruptive would be asked to leave.

A couple of parents were put out and stopped attending but everyone else was far happier as we could actually hear ourselves think and the kids were kept occupied.

What about people with disabilities, like OP?

Shouldn’t she be able to go to the class and hear what is being said?
Why is she less important?

I didn’t say she wasn’t . You are taking what I’ve said out of context like a few others on this thread. Later on in that post I suggested an area for the children to play so that everyone was happy. Did you not read down that far?

I don't think any children unde 16 DC should be allowed to be present in any slimming groups. Kids soak up information from their environment like sponges and it could lead them to have a preoccupation with dieting or even an eating disorder.

Can I turn this situation around to give some new perspective.

That mum with the "noisy" toddler is trying hard to lose weight.

She is probably too busy watching her kid through a forced smile, hoping to god he doesnt play up in the meeting to hear much of the lecture too.

This is the only thing she does for herself that doesnt revolve around the immediate needs if her family.

Trust me, she will know people don't want her kid there. She may also have no option but to bring them.

Dont speak to the mum, she will think her little darling is too precious and look how cute (s)he is.

Speak to the leader in confidence and ask as suggested by others if a seat could be reserved near the front and if they could ask mum to go out if the noise becomes too bad. I could certainly have never taken my son or daughter at that age as they would have been whizzing around and wanting my attention.

The leaders just want people through the door. If there’s more to gain by letting children in they’ll do that. I’m not even sure some of them want people to lose weight.

frankola
That may well be the case, however it's not appropriate for any situation to be turned into a crèche environment.

I'm sure that you could say the same about any situation:
E.g. The children running wild in Costa and getting under everyone's feet... shouting, screaming, getting in the way of hot drinks being carried, disrupting other tables etx Maybe that's the one coffee and chat with a friend the mum gets, maybe she is really lonely and she knows that they're a bit excitable but she just needs a break.

Reality: Costa isn't a play area, it's not safe to have children running around, if she wants to meet a friend and allow her children go let of steam there are many places with soft play attached.

There's a danger of minimising disruptive actions and permissive parenting by saying "obviously you all have perfect children / maybe they need a break or are tired" but only a certain type of arsehole would have an issue with a tired parent meaningfully trying to settle a child. Situations where children do as they like and the parents do nothing are different.

@Frankola I think everyone is aware of that perspective, hence why OP (and me, in my case) decided to quietly change groups rather than make a mum feel like crap, and hence why so many leaders anecdotally from this thread seem to have reacted so negatively to complaints about kids. I really don't think that it's the mums who aren't getting enough concessions here, honestly.

Wow. I merely expressed a suggestion that people look at it from a different perspective...

Costa actually encourage parents to visit with their kids. They have kids drinks options like the babychino that they actively promote. So I dont feel like I could complain about costa. Starbucks seem more adult orientated.

@Frankola It's not a different perspective. The perspective you posted is the reason for the post in the first place - an OP who feels that something she's paying for is being disrupted but is anxious about making a fuss because it's a mum, and therefore all of the things you mentioned are relevant.

The answer seems to be for SW etc to run a crèche at the same time and put up the fees to pay someone to run it. Preferably in another room with a door that shuts.

DD has just suggested child-walkers to take them out on tethers and in those bus buggy things that nurseries use. Or incorporate it into a brisk exercise class for atttendees. 1 mile jog with toddler.

Jeez, juliejones I was delighted to read your comment because it made me realize others children are the same as mine at that age! Around 18 months has been one of my least favourite ages with both mine - they are so very active but have so little sense and just won’t listen! It does make it difficult to take them anywhere. So much easier about a year later when thy should at least listen a bit - although obviously those perfect parents on this thread have children who do what they’re told the moment they come out of the womb

It’s also about consideration though. If your perfectly normal toddler is going to disrupt an entire room of paying customers, then maybe you should consider doing something else for a year or two before taking them to SW and the like.

@franciscrawford

Actually...up until now i have deliberately refused to be drawn on your comments about disability.

I dont want or need to be attacked on this forum about peoples views on disability when I have purposely refrained from making any comments about it in any way.

However, considering you seem to be insinuating that I am discriminating against disability let me be very very clear here indeed... I DO NOT agree with discrimination of any kind. I DO NOT agree any one should be discriminated against because of disability.

Please stop suggesting I support discrimination against disability. I find it hugely insulting and offensive.

Having small children is not a protected characteristic. Disability is.

Are you seriously trying to compare the two?

It’s not a ‘lecture’. It’s called Image Therapy.